Comment from LJbutterfly

Excellent

Based on the story, I was going to ask how Mercy could pray for Angela when Mercy didn't know what Angela had done. "If Tom didn't kill Angela, she was gonna kill him." I'm lost in the pronouns. Which "she" was gonna kill him...Angela or Mercy? Great short story with a twist at the end. I just didn't get it. Best wishes in the contest.

 Comment Written 23-Mar-2023

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reply by the author on 24-Mar-2023

Thanks for the review. Sorry you didn't get it. The implication was supposed to be that Tom had told Mercy, so Angela is angry with him. If Tom doesn't exact revenge for the cheating, Angela plans to exact revenge for him telling all her sins to the biggest blabbermouth they know and publicly humiliating her. Sorry it didn't seem clear. Getting all that across in 75 words was a bit ambitious.

reply by LJbutterfly on 24-Mar-2023

Thank you Mintybee, for your explanation. You did a great job with your story. I think I had a dense spot when I was reading it. It should do well in the contest.

Comment from Stephanie Rollins

Excellent

Saintly Tom....plot twist...He isn't so saintly. Matter of fact, he is downright evil. Anyway, I look forward to reading more. I anticipate a few twists and turns.

 Comment Written 23-Mar-2023

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reply by the author on 23-Mar-2023

Thanks for the review. You're right, there are no good characters here. Sadly, there isn't more. It was for the 75 word story contest, and I don't have more installments planned at this point.

Comment from Dolly'sPoems

Excellent

Oh my goodness, this sounds like a triangle ending in murder here as hearts are broken with infidelity. Your flash fiction tells a common tale of betrayal, love Dolly x

 Comment Written 22-Mar-2023

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reply by the author on 23-Mar-2023

Thanks for your review!

Comment from jmdg1954

Excellent

Nice dribble flash fiction.
Has the needed components of beginning, middle, end and the always fashionable, twist!

Best of luck in the contest.
John

 Comment Written 22-Mar-2023

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reply by the author on 23-Mar-2023

Thanks for your review!

Comment from kahpot

Excellent

Wow! a family and house of secrets, so someone is going to die though the killer is not yet identified, a wonderful read, I really like the names you have given these characters, very well written, best wishes for your contest****kahpot

 Comment Written 22-Mar-2023

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reply by the author on 22-Mar-2023

Thanks for the review!

Comment from lancellot

Excellent

Interesting, after reading the entire thing, I was left wondering, how the person speaking knew all those things. I thought she may be the other woman.

Here's my suggestion. Delete the author notes. Flash fiction should be self-contained. If somethings are a mystery. Leave it.

 Comment Written 22-Mar-2023

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reply by the author on 22-Mar-2023

Thanks for the review.