A Poetic Pause
Viewing comments for Chapter 21 "Carnage"First Poems
11 total reviews
Comment from JT traveller
Great choice of illustration to highlight your melancholy words. You write well and your message is very clear. Great word choices such as, "warp and churn", metaphors for a car wreck as that may be exactly how you feel. Great poem.
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2023
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Great choice of illustration to highlight your melancholy words. You write well and your message is very clear. Great word choices such as, "warp and churn", metaphors for a car wreck as that may be exactly how you feel. Great poem.
Comment Written 24-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2023
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Once again I thank you so much for having a look at my work and for your kind commentary and great review I thank you. I'm still jealous though l o l
Comment from Wendy G
Well written poem of the pain of lost love, and I enjoyed your powerful words. Except for the last rhyme which seemed a bit forced. Otherwise a powerful read. Best wishes for the contest.
Wendy
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2023
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Well written poem of the pain of lost love, and I enjoyed your powerful words. Except for the last rhyme which seemed a bit forced. Otherwise a powerful read. Best wishes for the contest.
Wendy
Comment Written 23-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2023
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Thank you Wendy. I'm so glad you liked it percent on that last line in my ticket a little bit. Thanks for your review and for your time and your kind comments. I hope you have a great evening!
Comment from Sandra Nelms-Ludwig
This is a good and colorful entry into the SAD poem contest. The text is a great size for reading. The message is presented with clarity and is easily understood. You use great descriptions for a broken heart in a relationship you once trusted to be more. The spacing of text in your poem box is imbalanced. Drop the first line down one space so it matches the spacing at the end of your poem. Your visual fits well. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2023
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This is a good and colorful entry into the SAD poem contest. The text is a great size for reading. The message is presented with clarity and is easily understood. You use great descriptions for a broken heart in a relationship you once trusted to be more. The spacing of text in your poem box is imbalanced. Drop the first line down one space so it matches the spacing at the end of your poem. Your visual fits well. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 23-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2023
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I thank you again sandra for having a read of my phone and offering your kind and helpful suggestions for which I am greatly appreciative! I have noticed The 2 lines of 2 will not come together for some reason as I've been playing with it so I'm going to try something else hopefully that will. Correct the matter. Once again thank you again for your time and for your review and I hope you have a great day!
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You are welcome. You have done a great job if you are using a phone. I am viewing it on a PC.
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I do work on my HP occasionally but more often than not. I'm on my phone thank you for the kind compliments I hope you're having an awesome evening!
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You are welcome. You have a great evening too.
Comment from LyndaS
Wow! There are sooooo many excellent lines in this entry. ...squeezing, bending crippling snare... ...my soul shouts in blended whispers...
Even your title knocked me out. You have captured the carnage of a ripped out heart beautifully. Beautifully? lol This is EXCELLENT. I even like the art you chose to go with this.
Extremely well done. Good luck in this contest. Lynda
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2023
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Wow! There are sooooo many excellent lines in this entry. ...squeezing, bending crippling snare... ...my soul shouts in blended whispers...
Even your title knocked me out. You have captured the carnage of a ripped out heart beautifully. Beautifully? lol This is EXCELLENT. I even like the art you chose to go with this.
Extremely well done. Good luck in this contest. Lynda
Comment Written 23-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2023
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Thank you and I'm really happy you like it and for your excellent 6 stars. I am grateful for that too and i'm humbled that you feel it worthy.
I hope you have a great and wonderful evening!
Comment from sunnilicious
That poem was about an arthritis suffer and death. It was sad. The visual imagery was astounding too. Why can't people just live life content and approach death without suffering... Great flow or rhythm and rhymes. Excellent work :)
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2023
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That poem was about an arthritis suffer and death. It was sad. The visual imagery was astounding too. Why can't people just live life content and approach death without suffering... Great flow or rhythm and rhymes. Excellent work :)
Comment Written 22-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2023
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Again thank you for your insight before you review and for your time much. Appreciated got sun where you're at
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Excellent poem entry for the Sad Poems writing prompt contest.
It's very sad and it reminded me of the grief when a relationship ends.
The rhymes and meter are not forced and they flow well.
the structure makes sense, it draws on emotions and it presents strong images.
Gypsy
"Poetry heals the wounds inflicted by reason" -- Novalis
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2023
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Excellent poem entry for the Sad Poems writing prompt contest.
It's very sad and it reminded me of the grief when a relationship ends.
The rhymes and meter are not forced and they flow well.
the structure makes sense, it draws on emotions and it presents strong images.
Gypsy
"Poetry heals the wounds inflicted by reason" -- Novalis
Comment Written 22-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2023
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Thank you it actually is over a break up you're very insightful! Thank you again for reading and for your kind comments. I always appreciate them and you're it. Suggestions for change have been really helpful too have yourself great afternoon!
Comment from Tom Horonzy
Wow. This piece surely relates the disappointment of someone with greater hopes than were delivered. I understood th gist of it, save for the last ... unfinished sentence.
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2023
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Wow. This piece surely relates the disappointment of someone with greater hopes than were delivered. I understood th gist of it, save for the last ... unfinished sentence.
Comment Written 22-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2023
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Yes it certainly was disappointment and many other things too however it is done and we move on. I thank you very much for your review for having a read for your insight hope you have a great night!
Comment from royowen
A great job and skilfully written, I love the alliteration my friend, the sheer sadness of life that is woven into this very moving post, you've really engaged the soulishness and that feeling ofvteetering on the edge. Great near rhymes and rhymes, good poetry, well done, great entry, good luck, blessings Roy
Typo : My soul(s) shouts in despair.
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2023
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A great job and skilfully written, I love the alliteration my friend, the sheer sadness of life that is woven into this very moving post, you've really engaged the soulishness and that feeling ofvteetering on the edge. Great near rhymes and rhymes, good poetry, well done, great entry, good luck, blessings Roy
Typo : My soul(s) shouts in despair.
Comment Written 22-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2023
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Wow thank you so much right? That's high praise indeed. I appreciate all your kind words and for your review and for your time I am most appreciated. I hope you have a wonderful day!
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Good job
Comment from Bill Schott
This poem, Carnage, seems to describe some pretty awful goings on that would certainly start at sad and then proceed rapidly to OMG WTF !!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2023
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This poem, Carnage, seems to describe some pretty awful goings on that would certainly start at sad and then proceed rapidly to OMG WTF !!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!
Comment Written 22-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2023
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Lol...yes. it was not fun.
Thank you for your review and your insight. And of your time.
Thx!
Comment from Gina Schneller
Hi there! First of all, I LOVE the picture you chose! It caught my eye and pulled me right it! Awesome choice! Love the words, "Weep and sigh wondering why, Break and bleed with hopeless cries.." I feel that internal struggle you write about. Thank you so much for sharing this with us all.
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reply by the author on 22-Mar-2023
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Hi there! First of all, I LOVE the picture you chose! It caught my eye and pulled me right it! Awesome choice! Love the words, "Weep and sigh wondering why, Break and bleed with hopeless cries.." I feel that internal struggle you write about. Thank you so much for sharing this with us all.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 22-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2023
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Thank you Gina I'm so glad you liked it. I hope everyone likes it and say I definitely a work in progress! Thank you for your review for your kind Comments it's much appreciated hope you have a great day.