my time
Hang first,then ask questions. A time,remembered.5 total reviews
Comment from Emily Barrett
I really think you have captured a feeling here. You have expressed the mood of the piece with small details that transport the reader to a time and place. I really like the line about kicking up the dust. It may seem like a small thing, but it really builds the theme of the piece.
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2023
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I really think you have captured a feeling here. You have expressed the mood of the piece with small details that transport the reader to a time and place. I really like the line about kicking up the dust. It may seem like a small thing, but it really builds the theme of the piece.
Comment Written 22-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2023
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thank you very much.
Comment from Gina Schneller
Hi there! I love the illustration that you chose for this poem! It has a creepy, mystical vibe. Also, when I read the line, "There was a sound like fresh lettuce being cracked," I could practically hear it! LOL. Thank you for sharing your writing with us all.
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2023
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Hi there! I love the illustration that you chose for this poem! It has a creepy, mystical vibe. Also, when I read the line, "There was a sound like fresh lettuce being cracked," I could practically hear it! LOL. Thank you for sharing your writing with us all.
Comment Written 22-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2023
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Thank you.
Comment from Julie Lau
An excellent poem, beautifully written. I find the message somewhat obscure, but no doubt that will come with time. The word inmagery is stark, original and real. Congratulations. Julie Lau
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2023
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An excellent poem, beautifully written. I find the message somewhat obscure, but no doubt that will come with time. The word inmagery is stark, original and real. Congratulations. Julie Lau
Comment Written 21-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2023
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Thank you Julie luau. I'm the king of obscure in my writings..Smile.
Comment from Lea Tonin1
This too is a very interesting poem history is amazing is it not?
"Puddles if dead eyes" Love it!!
A quick question for you. I'm wondering is this a free verse poem or is this considered a rhyming poem? It looks and feels more like a rhyming poem.
Going on that premise a couple of suggestions for you if I may,
This is no insult to you or to your poem. Aren't you writing style because quite frankly? I know there is talent there. I can see it in the written work so they go from great poems to exceptional poems I offer this.
Just gonna rework it just a little bit off her suggestions. You don't have to take them as your own and your poem is quite good just something two consider with respect to flow.
A rhyming poem usually consists of one or more stanzas with 4 lines per stanza.
I suggest reading your poem out loud to yourself or having someone read it for you. I'm sure your familiar with this but all reiterate it just in case. Pay attention to the flow to the rhythm to the cadence or a beat if you will. Now this is going on the assumption that this is a rhyming poem. Take no offense please as your poem is clearly written by talented person. Have a look at the new work tell me what you think.
It was cold the night before.
Pulling the quilt to my neck.
Gravel glowing by the door
Shining circles dust reflects.
What do you think
A guy needs her only thoughts and suggestions and can be taken or left as you will.
I think your poem is really good I think you're very intelligent. I encourage you to keep writing and I hope. None of my suggestions have caused insult oh they're not intended to.
I hope you have a wonderful fabulous day!)
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2023
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This too is a very interesting poem history is amazing is it not?
"Puddles if dead eyes" Love it!!
A quick question for you. I'm wondering is this a free verse poem or is this considered a rhyming poem? It looks and feels more like a rhyming poem.
Going on that premise a couple of suggestions for you if I may,
This is no insult to you or to your poem. Aren't you writing style because quite frankly? I know there is talent there. I can see it in the written work so they go from great poems to exceptional poems I offer this.
Just gonna rework it just a little bit off her suggestions. You don't have to take them as your own and your poem is quite good just something two consider with respect to flow.
A rhyming poem usually consists of one or more stanzas with 4 lines per stanza.
I suggest reading your poem out loud to yourself or having someone read it for you. I'm sure your familiar with this but all reiterate it just in case. Pay attention to the flow to the rhythm to the cadence or a beat if you will. Now this is going on the assumption that this is a rhyming poem. Take no offense please as your poem is clearly written by talented person. Have a look at the new work tell me what you think.
It was cold the night before.
Pulling the quilt to my neck.
Gravel glowing by the door
Shining circles dust reflects.
What do you think
A guy needs her only thoughts and suggestions and can be taken or left as you will.
I think your poem is really good I think you're very intelligent. I encourage you to keep writing and I hope. None of my suggestions have caused insult oh they're not intended to.
I hope you have a wonderful fabulous day!)
Comment Written 21-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2023
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thank you. i appreciate your open opinion. i allways try to write what i feel. and i never worry about the many forms of correct poetry writing.its always been my way,and i never take out words that i feel explains my purpose at that moment. so yes it was suppose to ryme when it did and not when it did not. this i guilty of.thank you very much for confirming my different writing style,i appreciate it very much.
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Hi yeah no absolutely right as you free. May suggest marking them as a free verse and then you won't have the book that I sent you l o l. Very sorry I have no wish to insult you in any way shape or form I find your writing to be very good and I encourage you to keep. On writing.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
This is a powerful and chilling write as judgements were made and hangings took place only to find the truth to be very different on reflection. That thirds stanza is raw and deadly, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2023
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This is a powerful and chilling write as judgements were made and hangings took place only to find the truth to be very different on reflection. That thirds stanza is raw and deadly, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
Comment Written 21-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2023
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Thanks again.
