Comment from l.raven

Excellent

Hi Jessica, what a precious poem to a
very special little guy in your life...
your Godson...and your nephew...

he sounds like a happy little boy...
doing what most little boys love to do...
I wish him a Very Happy Birthday...
and God bless the new baby on the way...

I love your sweet girl...and your picture
is perfect...stunning...very nicely written...
love Linda xxoo

Hi Jessica, welcome to FanStory...
I read a poem Debi wrote about you...
and thought I would drop by...I love your
the poems I read...and will read more when
I get time...I am always busy...and I haven't
been writing like I used to...but hope and pray
to get back someday...but I still review as much
as I can...you have a true talent for writing...
well I'm off to try and get caught up a bit...
it so good meeting you...and welcome to the family...
love Linda xxoo

 Comment Written 21-Mar-2023

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reply by the author on 21-Mar-2023

Hi Linda! Thank you so much for your kind words and warm welcome! That Debi is pretty amazing, I am so happy that you dropped by- and it means the world to me that you enjoyed some of my poems! I just joined in February, so I'm still getting the hang of things. But it's been an amazing experience, and has gotten me writing again. Have you been with Fanstory long? Thank you again for the hello and welcome, it made my night! :)

reply by l.raven on 21-Mar-2023

you are soooooo very welcome...
and yes Debi is truly amazing...

there are some wonderful people on
this site...many have gone out and
met some that they made friends of on here...

and there are some really talented writers as well...in time you will get to know them...

I have been on here 12 years...August 2010...
and I love it...we consider ourselves a family...most know their friends email...and we send cards and whatever to each other...
once you are here for awhile...you will get to know the people...have fun and enjoy yourself...

I hope you will allow me to be a fan...it shows me when you post a poem in my pm...or sometimes we will miss them...Thank You...love xxoo

Comment from jessizero

Excellent

You did an excellent job with the writing prompt. It is evident that you really love your nephew. The poem was fun and cute. Thank you for sharing, and best wishes to you.

 Comment Written 20-Mar-2023

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reply by the author on 21-Mar-2023

Thank you! :)

Comment from karenina

Excellent

Cute! But I don't see a precise refrain, as required... And line 5 and 6 are nine syllables,
rather than the required eight...

Love your chosen image and the overall sentiment is so appealing!

Karenina

 Comment Written 20-Mar-2023

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reply by the author on 20-Mar-2023

Thanks so much, I appreciate the syllable catch! An oversight on my part, I've edited accordingly. It seems I've also misunderstood the "usually on the last line" to mean it wasn't necessarily required. Another embarrassing oversight on my part! Haha I truly appreciate your kind
heads up on both! :)

reply by karenina on 21-Mar-2023

No problem...we've all been there!

:)

Comment from lancellot

Excellent

This is a very nice birthday gift for you Godson. He may not be able to read it yet, but then again he may. I'm sure he'll enjoy it.

Suggestion:

Joey so big, soon a big brother

-Joey's so big; soon a big brother

 Comment Written 19-Mar-2023

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reply by the author on 19-Mar-2023

Thank you so much for your review! Excellent suggestion. I will make that necessary edit. Thank you for taking the time to offer constructive feedback. I truly appreciate it!

Comment from Lady MJ

Excellent

Loved the rhyming scheme. Like songs, a poem can have a hook - something that grabs you and stays with you reminding you of what you read. "There's much to see and much to do" along with "Joey.. who is two." This will stick in my mind and remind me of this poem.

 Comment Written 19-Mar-2023

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reply by the author on 19-Mar-2023

Thank you so much! I agree with your comment about the hook- it's funny, I tend to "sing" a melody while working on a poem's metre , and I've been singing this hook all day! I appreciate your review very much! :)

Comment from Dolly'sPoems

Excellent

A sweet natured poem about a little boy who will soon be 2 which is a huge milestone when you are this young, I enjoyed the engaging words and matching rhymes here, love Dolly x

 Comment Written 19-Mar-2023

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reply by the author on 19-Mar-2023

Thank you, Dolly!

Comment from kahpot

Excellent

This is a wonderful read and tribute to Joey, though the prompt does require stanzas and a declining line at the end, you may have to revisit this one and do a bit of editing, best wishes****kahpot

 Comment Written 19-Mar-2023

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reply by the author on 19-Mar-2023

Thank you so much for the heads up! I must have misunderstood, I thought the repeating line was just usually last, I didn't realize it was required to be. Thank you so much, I will revisit! :)