Guided by Faith
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "Faith Chapter 4"Can faith guide our path?
31 total reviews
Comment from Soledadpaz
His saying 'that's impossible' makes it appear that he flat out doesn't believe she would have known to check how much gas she had to begin with. Perhaps he could instead say: You sure?
"I wouldn't want to be arrested." That is funny.
"Ray used his hand and put it to his thigh." --Perhaps: Ray held his open hand palm down at mid-thigh.
The dog porch? Has that been mentioned? He mentioned a fence and a doggy door.
I keep wondering what the interior of the bakery/bookstore looks like. If they had room to dance, but no room to hold the reading group.
Re amazing women. I think you should start with Emma being smart, capable, and vulnerable. Otherwise she has no arc. How will she change as she learns about life?
Anyway, I do believe that there are many strong women who can do all they set their mind to.
Sol
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2023
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His saying 'that's impossible' makes it appear that he flat out doesn't believe she would have known to check how much gas she had to begin with. Perhaps he could instead say: You sure?
"I wouldn't want to be arrested." That is funny.
"Ray used his hand and put it to his thigh." --Perhaps: Ray held his open hand palm down at mid-thigh.
The dog porch? Has that been mentioned? He mentioned a fence and a doggy door.
I keep wondering what the interior of the bakery/bookstore looks like. If they had room to dance, but no room to hold the reading group.
Re amazing women. I think you should start with Emma being smart, capable, and vulnerable. Otherwise she has no arc. How will she change as she learns about life?
Anyway, I do believe that there are many strong women who can do all they set their mind to.
Sol
Comment Written 30-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2023
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Emma is start, capable and vulnerable. She's also impulsive. She will grow. I can promise that. I made the changes and fixed the dog porch. That's what it will become but not there yet. LOL Thank you for the help. I appreciate it.
Comment from Jim Wile
I missed this post earlier, Barbara, but finally got to it.
I can understand some of the criticism you've gotten about Emma as being too perfect and therefore unbelievable. To me, it's not so much that Emma seems so perfect. There certainly are superior people who appear to have no flaws; however, they are not as interesting to read about as those who either have flaws and learn to overcome them, or may be knocked off their pedestal and need to fight back, or undergo some experience that causes personal growth.
I learned this in the process of my early drafts of Some Call It Luck. My daughter pointed out to me that Abby was just too perfect and nothing really happened to challenge her or gave her any real room for personal growth. I've heard from many people who say they prefer flawed characters because it makes them more interesting. They preferred E.J. because he was a mess at the beginning and underwent a lot before he finally found his way.
My original draft had Abby as being confident from the start, even though teased by her peers. She had such self-confidence that she viewed it as their loss that they didn't get to know her. There was no room for growth of her character. In my second and succeeding drafts, she was a much more sympathetic character who felt bad about being teased and wondered what she had to do to be accepted. She was introverted and awkward with strangers, and her confidence in herself grew gradually through the story.
I realize you've made Emma a little bit ditzy, but I'm hoping there will be some personal growth or conflict of faith or something that will make her a more interesting character. Jim
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2023
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I missed this post earlier, Barbara, but finally got to it.
I can understand some of the criticism you've gotten about Emma as being too perfect and therefore unbelievable. To me, it's not so much that Emma seems so perfect. There certainly are superior people who appear to have no flaws; however, they are not as interesting to read about as those who either have flaws and learn to overcome them, or may be knocked off their pedestal and need to fight back, or undergo some experience that causes personal growth.
I learned this in the process of my early drafts of Some Call It Luck. My daughter pointed out to me that Abby was just too perfect and nothing really happened to challenge her or gave her any real room for personal growth. I've heard from many people who say they prefer flawed characters because it makes them more interesting. They preferred E.J. because he was a mess at the beginning and underwent a lot before he finally found his way.
My original draft had Abby as being confident from the start, even though teased by her peers. She had such self-confidence that she viewed it as their loss that they didn't get to know her. There was no room for growth of her character. In my second and succeeding drafts, she was a much more sympathetic character who felt bad about being teased and wondered what she had to do to be accepted. She was introverted and awkward with strangers, and her confidence in herself grew gradually through the story.
I realize you've made Emma a little bit ditzy, but I'm hoping there will be some personal growth or conflict of faith or something that will make her a more interesting character. Jim
Comment Written 26-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2023
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There will be growth in Emma. As the story progresses, I promise Emma will grow. She may be talented, but she does have faults. Thank you for sharing.
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That's great to hear, Barbara!
Comment from Douglas Goff
Ah the plot thickens. Sorry I have fallen behind, my friend. I've been working Al lot this past week.
I like the characters. Very relatable. Emma sounds a lot like my wife. She's a hard driven, go getter business woman. So yes, there are many Emma's out there.
D
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2023
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Ah the plot thickens. Sorry I have fallen behind, my friend. I've been working Al lot this past week.
I like the characters. Very relatable. Emma sounds a lot like my wife. She's a hard driven, go getter business woman. So yes, there are many Emma's out there.
D
Comment Written 24-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2023
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Thank you for the kind review. I always appreciate hearing from you.
Comment from Jasmine Girl
Your book is easy to read with many dialogues. You always leave a cliff-hanger that makes reader wanting more. I wonder who siphoned the gas out of Emma's car. I can't wait to read more.
Excellent.
My talent:
I was a top student in I was good at science and liberal art and reading. That was in Beijing China. I went Peking University, the Harvard of China, studying physics. In college I started writing after realizing my very dysfunctional family. But I couldn't write about my mother's extramarital affairs in China. After coming to the US, I started writing in English and won a short story award in Paris in 1992. I will post an essay about my writing journey.
Over the years, I have been writing while working as a software engineer, bring a mother and becoming a successful investor so I can retire young and write full time. So I'm semi-retired and will retire in two years. I can do it now. I'm basically writing full-time now and very happy.
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2023
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Your book is easy to read with many dialogues. You always leave a cliff-hanger that makes reader wanting more. I wonder who siphoned the gas out of Emma's car. I can't wait to read more.
Excellent.
My talent:
I was a top student in I was good at science and liberal art and reading. That was in Beijing China. I went Peking University, the Harvard of China, studying physics. In college I started writing after realizing my very dysfunctional family. But I couldn't write about my mother's extramarital affairs in China. After coming to the US, I started writing in English and won a short story award in Paris in 1992. I will post an essay about my writing journey.
Over the years, I have been writing while working as a software engineer, bring a mother and becoming a successful investor so I can retire young and write full time. So I'm semi-retired and will retire in two years. I can do it now. I'm basically writing full-time now and very happy.
Comment Written 21-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2023
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Thank you for sharing your amazing self. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Anne Johnston
This chapter was very interesting and informative. Don't change Emma's character, there are lots of us who can relate to her. I like how you reveal what your characters are like through dialogue.
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2023
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This chapter was very interesting and informative. Don't change Emma's character, there are lots of us who can relate to her. I like how you reveal what your characters are like through dialogue.
Comment Written 21-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2023
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Thank you for the kind review.
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You are welcome
Comment from lyenochka
Thank you for being an amazing woman, Barbara! I'm glad you are writing about wholesome romance and keeping the relationships clean and godly. I never fished or did athletic sports but started jogging after age 50. But I completed all the course work for a master's when my firstborn was a baby. Then completed two other Master's programs in 1987 and 2008. My husband is my first and only boyfriend so I appreciate your story as I never dated until college.
Glad that Seth and Emma are getting to know each other better just as friends first.
Happy Birthday to your son!
Suggestion:
why and who siphoned your gas." (who siphoned your gas and why)
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2023
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Thank you for being an amazing woman, Barbara! I'm glad you are writing about wholesome romance and keeping the relationships clean and godly. I never fished or did athletic sports but started jogging after age 50. But I completed all the course work for a master's when my firstborn was a baby. Then completed two other Master's programs in 1987 and 2008. My husband is my first and only boyfriend so I appreciate your story as I never dated until college.
Glad that Seth and Emma are getting to know each other better just as friends first.
Happy Birthday to your son!
Suggestion:
why and who siphoned your gas." (who siphoned your gas and why)
Comment Written 21-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2023
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It does read better this way. I made the change. Thank you for the encouragement and being and amazing woman.
Comment from Jay Squires
Well, I admit, I hadn't really thought about her being too goody-goody, but mainly because the story is early-on. If it continued that way all throughout the novel, I would probably join the ranks of your neigh sayers. Right now, I'm enjoying the contrast between Emma and Seth. There's good tension primarily because her seeming "innocense" is what keeps Seth on the lookout to protect her. I'll reserve judgment and see how their characters develop and evolve over the course of the novel.
Jay
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2023
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Well, I admit, I hadn't really thought about her being too goody-goody, but mainly because the story is early-on. If it continued that way all throughout the novel, I would probably join the ranks of your neigh sayers. Right now, I'm enjoying the contrast between Emma and Seth. There's good tension primarily because her seeming "innocense" is what keeps Seth on the lookout to protect her. I'll reserve judgment and see how their characters develop and evolve over the course of the novel.
Jay
Comment Written 20-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2023
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Annmuma
I like your characters and your style of writing. The scenes are clearly drawn, the characters are believeable, and the story does not 'drag'. It flows nicely between paragraphs without the reader losing interest. Good job. ann
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2023
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I like your characters and your style of writing. The scenes are clearly drawn, the characters are believeable, and the story does not 'drag'. It flows nicely between paragraphs without the reader losing interest. Good job. ann
Comment Written 20-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2023
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Thank you for the encouragement.
Comment from w.j.debi
I find the interaction between the characters believable and full of possibility. Your writing is fluid and makes the characters come to life. Excellent descriptions to put us in the scene. You build the tension well too.
As far as your questions. What is wrong with having a wholesome herione and hero? I find myself reading a lot of Y.A. and children's novels, or old classics because I am uncomfortable with what they term as real language and morales in what is considered literature for adults. I'm a cozy reader. Give me Agatha Christie who concentrates on relationships and solving the crime and keep the modern writers who feel the need to describe the buckets of blood in the room. Give me Pride and Prejudice with its sexual tension and leave out the detailed bedroom scenes.
Please stay true to what you consider to be right for you and your characters. I am enjoying every minute of this novel so far.
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2023
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I find the interaction between the characters believable and full of possibility. Your writing is fluid and makes the characters come to life. Excellent descriptions to put us in the scene. You build the tension well too.
As far as your questions. What is wrong with having a wholesome herione and hero? I find myself reading a lot of Y.A. and children's novels, or old classics because I am uncomfortable with what they term as real language and morales in what is considered literature for adults. I'm a cozy reader. Give me Agatha Christie who concentrates on relationships and solving the crime and keep the modern writers who feel the need to describe the buckets of blood in the room. Give me Pride and Prejudice with its sexual tension and leave out the detailed bedroom scenes.
Please stay true to what you consider to be right for you and your characters. I am enjoying every minute of this novel so far.
Comment Written 20-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2023
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Thank you for the kind review and understanding. I appreciate the encouragement. HUGS!!!
Comment from Pam (respa)
-I appreciate all of your notes, barbara.
-You must have gotten some interesting feedback.
-I enjoyed the chapter that had an element of
suspicion about who had siphoned the gas out of Emma's car,
and who might be following her.
-Seth did a good job of trying to see if anyone was
still around that might be holding a grudge.
-The fishing scene lightened things up as Seth tried his hand at it.
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2023
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-I appreciate all of your notes, barbara.
-You must have gotten some interesting feedback.
-I enjoyed the chapter that had an element of
suspicion about who had siphoned the gas out of Emma's car,
and who might be following her.
-Seth did a good job of trying to see if anyone was
still around that might be holding a grudge.
-The fishing scene lightened things up as Seth tried his hand at it.
Comment Written 20-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2023
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Thank you for the kind review.
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You are welcome.
