In Real Time
Viewing comments for Chapter 8 "Talking About Getting Married"Stories of the Here and Now
11 total reviews
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Very interesting. Nice work.
She says she went back to school, to get her masters." - You don't need the comma. (Masters') needs an apostrophe.
marraige - (marriage)
We really took itto the next level. - oops
I deffinitely felt that." - (definitely)
Best wishes.
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2023
Very interesting. Nice work.
She says she went back to school, to get her masters." - You don't need the comma. (Masters') needs an apostrophe.
marraige - (marriage)
We really took itto the next level. - oops
I deffinitely felt that." - (definitely)
Best wishes.
Comment Written 20-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2023
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Thanks for the excellent review and all the suggestions. Will Edit at some point. estory
Comment from prettybluebirds
In your first sentence, you have (of) spelled wrong. Further down, (alot) should be (a lot). You misspelled (into) in (itto) the next level. Just a couple of edits, and it will be perfect. It is an interesting story, and I enjoyed reading it.
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2023
In your first sentence, you have (of) spelled wrong. Further down, (alot) should be (a lot). You misspelled (into) in (itto) the next level. Just a couple of edits, and it will be perfect. It is an interesting story, and I enjoyed reading it.
Comment Written 18-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2023
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Thanks for the excellent review and the suggestions. I will give it an edit; posted it in a bit of a rush Sat. Glad you liked the story. estory
Comment from w.j.debi
The dialog is well written and tells us a lot about the characters, their attitudes and how they view the world. They worry about making commitments and having regrets. I wonder if passing on the big commitments will be what they regret in the future as those things could pass them by.
Great commentary on the attitudes we find in society today.
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2023
The dialog is well written and tells us a lot about the characters, their attitudes and how they view the world. They worry about making commitments and having regrets. I wonder if passing on the big commitments will be what they regret in the future as those things could pass them by.
Great commentary on the attitudes we find in society today.
Comment Written 18-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2023
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Thanks for the excellent review and I am glad you liked the character definition and the dialogue. Put a lot into that. Wanted to capture contemporary views on these subjects, good or bad. estory
Comment from Jasmine Girl
Your short stories are excellent. The description is full of details about the surrounding. Dialogues are real and believable. It almost sounded a true experience you had in a Starbucks. I like Raymond Carver and read some of his work, too. I didn't notice the church part.
Excellent.
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2023
Your short stories are excellent. The description is full of details about the surrounding. Dialogues are real and believable. It almost sounded a true experience you had in a Starbucks. I like Raymond Carver and read some of his work, too. I didn't notice the church part.
Excellent.
Comment Written 18-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2023
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Thanks again for the sixer. estory
Comment from BethShelby
The dialogue is good and very natural of two young women of today getting together. People don't marry as young as they once did. Women are more reluctant to be tied down and more concerned it they life commitment is what they really want. Their background really play in to there uncertainity about commitment.
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2023
The dialogue is good and very natural of two young women of today getting together. People don't marry as young as they once did. Women are more reluctant to be tied down and more concerned it they life commitment is what they really want. Their background really play in to there uncertainity about commitment.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2023
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Thanks for the excellent review and I am glad you found the characters realistic and representative of modern people and their values. estory
Comment from patcelaw
It is a shame ladies are so confused about whether or not they want to get married. This is quite a story and I enjoyed listening to it. Have a good day and God bless.Patricia.
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2023
It is a shame ladies are so confused about whether or not they want to get married. This is quite a story and I enjoyed listening to it. Have a good day and God bless.Patricia.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2023
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Thanks for the excellent review and I am glad you liked the story. I tried to create a couple of characters that would be emblematic of the values of people in today';s society estory
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
An interesting dialogue exchange here, very casual and natural.
Modern marriages mean there is no ownership between couples. We do not belong to someone, we are loyal to our partners and love them but we can never own someone and this is a misconception in marriage and an old fashioned view.
One edit here for you:
Two young women order a couple (of) frappacinos at Starbuck's.
A poignant write and food for thought here,
love Dolly x
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2023
An interesting dialogue exchange here, very casual and natural.
Modern marriages mean there is no ownership between couples. We do not belong to someone, we are loyal to our partners and love them but we can never own someone and this is a misconception in marriage and an old fashioned view.
One edit here for you:
Two young women order a couple (of) frappacinos at Starbuck's.
A poignant write and food for thought here,
love Dolly x
Comment Written 17-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2023
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Thanks for the perspective and the suggestions. It needs a good edit, will do that in the future. If you don't belong to each other, then you have no value. Value comes from belonging to someone . estory
Comment from royowen
Well done with this, the subtleties to a properly thought out relationship these days will unfortunately be shaped by misguided standards that have developed by a world that has few traditional rules, that of faithfulness, enduring beliefs, tried and true, but most of all creating a haven for family. These values have been supplanted by a sense of "meness" - what's good for ME, so in a world of complete confusion, it's no wonder universal thinking dominates, a world without order. Beautifully written my friend, very subtle, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2023
Well done with this, the subtleties to a properly thought out relationship these days will unfortunately be shaped by misguided standards that have developed by a world that has few traditional rules, that of faithfulness, enduring beliefs, tried and true, but most of all creating a haven for family. These values have been supplanted by a sense of "meness" - what's good for ME, so in a world of complete confusion, it's no wonder universal thinking dominates, a world without order. Beautifully written my friend, very subtle, blessings Roy
Comment Written 17-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2023
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Thanks for the excellent review and I think we both share the same view. This is the product of the me generation, the daughters of the women's lib movement. But without belonging to someone else, you have no value. That is my view. Value comes from belonging to someone else. And the family is belonging to each other. estory
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That?s right
Comment from Sally Law
You have hit the nail on the head, estory! My husband and I are a dying breed, happily married 47 years. This year will be our 48th! We've been in love for 51 years. Committed love is the best. I don't mind being one with the one I love the most. My single friends envy my life.
Great writing birthed from the ladies' conversation.
Sal :))
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2023
You have hit the nail on the head, estory! My husband and I are a dying breed, happily married 47 years. This year will be our 48th! We've been in love for 51 years. Committed love is the best. I don't mind being one with the one I love the most. My single friends envy my life.
Great writing birthed from the ladies' conversation.
Sal :))
Comment Written 17-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2023
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Thanks for the excellent review. Yes we are the dying breeds here. The me generation is pushing us out. And this will be the standard after we've gone. estory
Comment from jmdg1954
The only thing missing from these two is the chewing gum cracking in their mouth as they speak. Of course chewing with their mouths open!
They seemed like two girls going in opposite directions in life.
Thanks for posting. Interesting dialogue and well written.
John
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reply by the author on 20-Mar-2023
The only thing missing from these two is the chewing gum cracking in their mouth as they speak. Of course chewing with their mouths open!
They seemed like two girls going in opposite directions in life.
Thanks for posting. Interesting dialogue and well written.
John
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2023
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Thanks for the excellent review and I think you latched onto those defined characters. estory