Comment from Wayne Fowler

Excellent

Very interesting. Nice work.
She says she went back to school, to get her masters." - You don't need the comma. (Masters') needs an apostrophe.
marraige - (marriage)
We really took itto the next level. - oops
I deffinitely felt that." - (definitely)
Best wishes.

 Comment Written 20-Mar-2023

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reply by the author on 20-Mar-2023

Thanks for the excellent review and all the suggestions. Will Edit at some point. estory

Comment from prettybluebirds

Excellent

In your first sentence, you have (of) spelled wrong. Further down, (alot) should be (a lot). You misspelled (into) in (itto) the next level. Just a couple of edits, and it will be perfect. It is an interesting story, and I enjoyed reading it.

 Comment Written 18-Mar-2023

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reply by the author on 20-Mar-2023

Thanks for the excellent review and the suggestions. I will give it an edit; posted it in a bit of a rush Sat. Glad you liked the story. estory

Comment from w.j.debi

Excellent

The dialog is well written and tells us a lot about the characters, their attitudes and how they view the world. They worry about making commitments and having regrets. I wonder if passing on the big commitments will be what they regret in the future as those things could pass them by.
Great commentary on the attitudes we find in society today.

 Comment Written 18-Mar-2023

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reply by the author on 20-Mar-2023

Thanks for the excellent review and I am glad you liked the character definition and the dialogue. Put a lot into that. Wanted to capture contemporary views on these subjects, good or bad. estory

Comment from Jasmine Girl

Exceptional

Your short stories are excellent. The description is full of details about the surrounding. Dialogues are real and believable. It almost sounded a true experience you had in a Starbucks. I like Raymond Carver and read some of his work, too. I didn't notice the church part.

Excellent.

 Comment Written 18-Mar-2023

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reply by the author on 20-Mar-2023

Thanks again for the sixer. estory

Comment from BethShelby

Excellent

The dialogue is good and very natural of two young women of today getting together. People don't marry as young as they once did. Women are more reluctant to be tied down and more concerned it they life commitment is what they really want. Their background really play in to there uncertainity about commitment.

 Comment Written 17-Mar-2023

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reply by the author on 20-Mar-2023

Thanks for the excellent review and I am glad you found the characters realistic and representative of modern people and their values. estory

Comment from patcelaw

Excellent

It is a shame ladies are so confused about whether or not they want to get married. This is quite a story and I enjoyed listening to it. Have a good day and God bless.Patricia.

 Comment Written 17-Mar-2023

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reply by the author on 20-Mar-2023

Thanks for the excellent review and I am glad you liked the story. I tried to create a couple of characters that would be emblematic of the values of people in today';s society estory

Comment from Dolly'sPoems

Excellent

An interesting dialogue exchange here, very casual and natural.

Modern marriages mean there is no ownership between couples. We do not belong to someone, we are loyal to our partners and love them but we can never own someone and this is a misconception in marriage and an old fashioned view.

One edit here for you:

Two young women order a couple (of) frappacinos at Starbuck's.

A poignant write and food for thought here,

love Dolly x

 Comment Written 17-Mar-2023

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reply by the author on 20-Mar-2023

Thanks for the perspective and the suggestions. It needs a good edit, will do that in the future. If you don't belong to each other, then you have no value. Value comes from belonging to someone . estory

Comment from royowen

Excellent

Well done with this, the subtleties to a properly thought out relationship these days will unfortunately be shaped by misguided standards that have developed by a world that has few traditional rules, that of faithfulness, enduring beliefs, tried and true, but most of all creating a haven for family. These values have been supplanted by a sense of "meness" - what's good for ME, so in a world of complete confusion, it's no wonder universal thinking dominates, a world without order. Beautifully written my friend, very subtle, blessings Roy

 Comment Written 17-Mar-2023

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reply by the author on 20-Mar-2023

Thanks for the excellent review and I think we both share the same view. This is the product of the me generation, the daughters of the women's lib movement. But without belonging to someone else, you have no value. That is my view. Value comes from belonging to someone else. And the family is belonging to each other. estory

reply by royowen on 20-Mar-2023

That?s right

Comment from Sally Law

Excellent

You have hit the nail on the head, estory! My husband and I are a dying breed, happily married 47 years. This year will be our 48th! We've been in love for 51 years. Committed love is the best. I don't mind being one with the one I love the most. My single friends envy my life.

Great writing birthed from the ladies' conversation.
Sal :))

 Comment Written 17-Mar-2023

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reply by the author on 20-Mar-2023

Thanks for the excellent review. Yes we are the dying breeds here. The me generation is pushing us out. And this will be the standard after we've gone. estory

Comment from jmdg1954

Excellent

The only thing missing from these two is the chewing gum cracking in their mouth as they speak. Of course chewing with their mouths open!

They seemed like two girls going in opposite directions in life.

Thanks for posting. Interesting dialogue and well written.
John

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 17-Mar-2023

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reply by the author on 20-Mar-2023

Thanks for the excellent review and I think you latched onto those defined characters. estory