Weight of the World
Heavy burdens weighing me down.26 total reviews
Comment from Nicki Nance
This is quite a passionate disclosure. I felt like you were digging deeper and deeper, and becoming more raw as you journeyed through what happened, and what that means to you.
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2023
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This is quite a passionate disclosure. I felt like you were digging deeper and deeper, and becoming more raw as you journeyed through what happened, and what that means to you.
Comment Written 15-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2023
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Thank you
Comment from nomi338
The cry for help is full throated, loud, clear, and plaintive. Your distinctive voice has an urgency that comes straight from the streets. It is authentic and it reaches deep into the core of its reader. It urges and encourages the reader to make changes and help us to make things right.
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2023
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The cry for help is full throated, loud, clear, and plaintive. Your distinctive voice has an urgency that comes straight from the streets. It is authentic and it reaches deep into the core of its reader. It urges and encourages the reader to make changes and help us to make things right.
Comment Written 15-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2023
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Good to hear from you. I hope all is well with you.
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All is good. I just dodged catching a serious infection. I had it, but it was mild enough for me to fight it off without medication.
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I will be leaving fanstory. It was too expensive and there was too much negativity. I hope you are okay.
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I am okay for an 80 year old man with the many health problems that go with the territory. Please stay in touch. My email address is: nmiller4243@hotmail.com. I will miss your voice and pray that you will have many opportunities to speak your truth to all who will listen.
Comment from prettybluebirds
I think you must have had some kind of problem when you posted this. The same story, with the same words, is repeated seven times. I'm sure that was not your intent when you posted this. Your should be able to delete the extra ones.
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2023
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I think you must have had some kind of problem when you posted this. The same story, with the same words, is repeated seven times. I'm sure that was not your intent when you posted this. Your should be able to delete the extra ones.
Comment Written 15-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2023
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Yes it was a mistake. I was rushing posting this and working my nursing job. Thanks for making me aware of thus. Corrections made.
Comment from JT traveller
You have managed to juxtapose life and people pushing you down with your ability to fight and stand up for yourself. I really enjoyed the sentiments behind the poem as often people feel like there is no way out.
You seem to have repeated your poem several times, was this on purpose?
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2023
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You have managed to juxtapose life and people pushing you down with your ability to fight and stand up for yourself. I really enjoyed the sentiments behind the poem as often people feel like there is no way out.
You seem to have repeated your poem several times, was this on purpose?
Comment Written 15-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2023
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Definitely a mistake. That's what I get for trying to post a poem and work my nursing job.
Comment from Liberty P.
The rhythm in your poem feels almost like a song. I really enjoy that aspect. I love your honesty as well - these things are difficult to write sometimes, but you do it fearlessly. That's amazing, and definitely #goals. My only comment is that you seem to follow two threads - one of life in general throwing you down, and another of what seems like a specific person betraying you. "Instead of pulling the knife out of my back, you push it deeper". I would clearly separate these two threads, like maybe put one in one stanza and the other in another.
But overall, great job. I can see where you're going and I think it's totally awesome.
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reply by the author on 21-Mar-2023
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The rhythm in your poem feels almost like a song. I really enjoy that aspect. I love your honesty as well - these things are difficult to write sometimes, but you do it fearlessly. That's amazing, and definitely #goals. My only comment is that you seem to follow two threads - one of life in general throwing you down, and another of what seems like a specific person betraying you. "Instead of pulling the knife out of my back, you push it deeper". I would clearly separate these two threads, like maybe put one in one stanza and the other in another.
But overall, great job. I can see where you're going and I think it's totally awesome.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 15-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2023
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Thanks for the feedback.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
You have repeated your poem several times in your post here? This may be a mistake? Your poem is full of sorrow and we all carry the burdens in life and hope that we can handle what life throws at us, I wish you well, love Dolly x
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reply by the author on 15-Mar-2023
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You have repeated your poem several times in your post here? This may be a mistake? Your poem is full of sorrow and we all carry the burdens in life and hope that we can handle what life throws at us, I wish you well, love Dolly x
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 15-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2023
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Yes it was a mistake. I was multiple tasking working my nursing job. Thanks for the review. My life is full of sorrow, struggles and pain. Hoping my pain and struggles will give hope to other suffering to let them know they aren't alone.
