A Poetic Pause
Viewing comments for Chapter 30 "Modern Haiku"First Poems
4 total reviews
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Hello,
thank you for participating in our haiku club event. I like your modern haiku. Your haiku is a 'modern' haiku because a classic haiku doesn't use punctuation, only a dash before the satori (last line). Just change your subtitle to modern haiku. Add the modern haiku description to your author notes (see below)
Your modern haiku is very funny :)
Good syllables count and grammatical connection between lines.
Gypsy
Modern Haiku - The most common adaptation in English haiku looks something like this: one to four lines, no strict syllable count but brief, and often with a long/short or short/long asymmetry. The most important thing about a haiku is that it captures and conveys a sensory image of a single moment in time, and that image resonates on a deeper level, leaving the reader feeling enlightened and making an insightful connection between the top lines and the last one (satori). These poems use a dash to pause before the last line.. Modern haiku may use any poetic devices Images need not be taken from nature, though they may be and often are. Seasonality is optional, though often featured. modern haiku examples --- modern haiku rules
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2023
  |
Hello,
thank you for participating in our haiku club event. I like your modern haiku. Your haiku is a 'modern' haiku because a classic haiku doesn't use punctuation, only a dash before the satori (last line). Just change your subtitle to modern haiku. Add the modern haiku description to your author notes (see below)
Your modern haiku is very funny :)
Good syllables count and grammatical connection between lines.
Gypsy
Modern Haiku - The most common adaptation in English haiku looks something like this: one to four lines, no strict syllable count but brief, and often with a long/short or short/long asymmetry. The most important thing about a haiku is that it captures and conveys a sensory image of a single moment in time, and that image resonates on a deeper level, leaving the reader feeling enlightened and making an insightful connection between the top lines and the last one (satori). These poems use a dash to pause before the last line.. Modern haiku may use any poetic devices Images need not be taken from nature, though they may be and often are. Seasonality is optional, though often featured. modern haiku examples --- modern haiku rules
Comment Written 17-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2023
-
Sure thank you I will need some learning along the way with this club. I imagine thank you very much for your advice. I'll make that change and thanks for your review too hope you have a great day!
Comment from Jasmine Girl
Haha. When I was searching through my photo for fruit pictures, all my tomato photos showed up, too. In China, during winter when there wasn't fruit available, we cut up tomatoes and ate them with some sugar as fruit.
Well done. I like the Satori.
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2023
|
Haha. When I was searching through my photo for fruit pictures, all my tomato photos showed up, too. In China, during winter when there wasn't fruit available, we cut up tomatoes and ate them with some sugar as fruit.
Well done. I like the Satori.
Comment Written 15-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2023
-
Nice! Thank you i'm so glad you like it yeah I love tomatoes they're great especially the cherry ones. Thank you for your review for taking the time to look it over. I hope you have a great night!
Comment from Julie Lau
It's cute, funny and original. I'm very happy to see you getting into humorous poetry Lea, and you do it well. Congratulations and best wishes.
Julie Lau
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2023
|
It's cute, funny and original. I'm very happy to see you getting into humorous poetry Lea, and you do it well. Congratulations and best wishes.
Julie Lau
Comment Written 14-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2023
-
Thank you julie glad you like it! Thank you for taking the time to read it and offer your thoughts. It's greatly appreciated having awesome day!
Comment from JT traveller
I would make the comment "fruity" but I think only an Australian would understand. Here it is a slang word for crazy.
Clearly different from your other works but hey, you were requested to write a Haiku about fruit. That is an odd suggestion in itself IMHO.
Witty in its verse. Clever double entendre with "ketchup". I could not help but be amused. Jacqueline
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2023
|
I would make the comment "fruity" but I think only an Australian would understand. Here it is a slang word for crazy.
Clearly different from your other works but hey, you were requested to write a Haiku about fruit. That is an odd suggestion in itself IMHO.
Witty in its verse. Clever double entendre with "ketchup". I could not help but be amused. Jacqueline
Comment Written 14-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2023
-
I'm glad you are amused that was my intent. The little bit of haha sometimes have a good night. Thank you for your review and for your comments take care!
