The Sawgman Gone
Need fof man to care and love all in his country5 total reviews
Comment from Debra JT
Such a beautiful poem! You have obviously chosen your words very carefully to try to convey the emotions you are searching for. It is obvious that a lot of deep thought went into creating this beautiful piece of art. Great job!
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2023
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Such a beautiful poem! You have obviously chosen your words very carefully to try to convey the emotions you are searching for. It is obvious that a lot of deep thought went into creating this beautiful piece of art. Great job!
Comment Written 09-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2023
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Thank you
Comment from Jim Wile
This is a wonderful start you've made in your debut here at FanStory, Graham and Ros. This is such a well-written poem expressing heartfelt feelings for your native land and your fears for its future. I share the same fears here in the US.
Your rhyme and meter were outstanding--something I really love to see in poetry. There are a few on the site who excel in this, though many also love to write free verse poetry or poems that rhyme but lack a consistent meter.
It takes time, but you will learn as you go and read the work of others about good presentation techniques. I always use the advanced editor for the variety it allows. A larger font size is really important, though. I usually choose a size that will allow all the words to fit on a line with very little, if any, line wrapping. 16 or 18 would probably work here. Also make sure your font color will stand out well against the background color.
Excellent start, and welcome to FanStory! Jim
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2023
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This is a wonderful start you've made in your debut here at FanStory, Graham and Ros. This is such a well-written poem expressing heartfelt feelings for your native land and your fears for its future. I share the same fears here in the US.
Your rhyme and meter were outstanding--something I really love to see in poetry. There are a few on the site who excel in this, though many also love to write free verse poetry or poems that rhyme but lack a consistent meter.
It takes time, but you will learn as you go and read the work of others about good presentation techniques. I always use the advanced editor for the variety it allows. A larger font size is really important, though. I usually choose a size that will allow all the words to fit on a line with very little, if any, line wrapping. 16 or 18 would probably work here. Also make sure your font color will stand out well against the background color.
Excellent start, and welcome to FanStory! Jim
Comment Written 09-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2023
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Thank you
It should have read Swagman Gone not Sawgman I apologise if name written incorrectly
Comment from Sarah Das Gupta
Very well controlled structure and rhyming scheme. The sense of loss and nostalgia is strong in the poem. There is real regret for an older Australia which the poet expresses powerfully!
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Very well controlled structure and rhyming scheme. The sense of loss and nostalgia is strong in the poem. There is real regret for an older Australia which the poet expresses powerfully!
Comment Written 09-Mar-2023
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
A well written post with good metre and I enjoyed the sentiment here and I am sorry this is happening in Australia. It seems the whole world has lost its way just now. You have an addition floating (f) in your description at the top of the page. Welcome to Fanstory and I hope to read more of your work Graham, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2023
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A well written post with good metre and I enjoyed the sentiment here and I am sorry this is happening in Australia. It seems the whole world has lost its way just now. You have an addition floating (f) in your description at the top of the page. Welcome to Fanstory and I hope to read more of your work Graham, love Dolly x
Comment Written 09-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2023
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Thank you
Besides the floating(f) i appear to have called it Sawgman Gone but it should be Swagman Gone
Comment from kahpot
How beautifully written, though saying this I am disappointed that you think, my home, my country, and the wide-open spaces have lost their way or been lost, I am/was a country boy, shearer in fact after several years as a jackaroo, and must disagree with your overall assessment, Australia's heart has always bled, and this will continue to resolve any conflict****kahpot
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2023
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How beautifully written, though saying this I am disappointed that you think, my home, my country, and the wide-open spaces have lost their way or been lost, I am/was a country boy, shearer in fact after several years as a jackaroo, and must disagree with your overall assessment, Australia's heart has always bled, and this will continue to resolve any conflict****kahpot
Comment Written 09-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2023
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Thank you I appreciate your point of view but in a way Christ's blood was shed for all mankind every where and sadly our country has lost its way in understanding what God suffered allowing His only Son to bear all mankind's sin. Christ rose again proving God can raise man to life and that He remains in control of this earth until Christ comes again on that cloud - See revelation Chapter1 know this may be an over reaction comment but it is true.
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Thank you for your wonderful response, I can see your point, also did you catch a couple typos, your short introduction before the title (fof) should this be for, (sawgman) should this be swagman, as before a thoroughly enjoyable read****kahpot
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Thank You Yes!
I thought I had called it Swagman
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Thank You
Again I agree with you that Australia's heart has always bled. The blood though is Christ's, flowing out from the Cross over Australia and the entire world. Christ died for all mans'
sin through all creation time. Only those who believe will understand and know His blood was shed for them.
