A Fallen Man
1,400 words. Sometimes you stumble into the right place.21 total reviews
Comment from Tom Horonzy
Well done. Thought I would return the favor of a comment. It was a good read, and I am not learned sufficiently to comment on composition and the such.
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2023
  |
Well done. Thought I would return the favor of a comment. It was a good read, and I am not learned sufficiently to comment on composition and the such.
Comment Written 23-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2023
-
Hi, Tom. Thank you for your kind words!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
Comment from Olivanne Marsh
First time I ever heard of a shot-gun sermon. :) I had a couple of comments listed below:
"He's awake now! "Where am I." *** Where am I is a question is it not? Needs a question mark. No need for the exclamation point, in fact , really no need for the sentence telling the reader Kidd is awake. It's assumed he is.
"Mr. Williamson removes the shudders to let the sunlight in through the windows." ***Is this an intentional play on words? Or a typo? Shutters or shudders?
The story has a strong predictable message. You did well with details and dialogue.
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2023
|
First time I ever heard of a shot-gun sermon. :) I had a couple of comments listed below:
"He's awake now! "Where am I." *** Where am I is a question is it not? Needs a question mark. No need for the exclamation point, in fact , really no need for the sentence telling the reader Kidd is awake. It's assumed he is.
"Mr. Williamson removes the shudders to let the sunlight in through the windows." ***Is this an intentional play on words? Or a typo? Shutters or shudders?
The story has a strong predictable message. You did well with details and dialogue.
Comment Written 12-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2023
-
Hello, my friend. Thank you for your kind words and help with this story. It's deeply appreciated!
Have a great day,and God bless.
mike
Comment from Ric Myworld
I'm a big sucker for happy endings and this one did the trick well. There is hope for even the most downtrodden scoundrels of the world if we can just clean their hearts up. LOL. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2023
|
I'm a big sucker for happy endings and this one did the trick well. There is hope for even the most downtrodden scoundrels of the world if we can just clean their hearts up. LOL. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 12-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2023
-
Hi, Ric. Thank you for your kind words!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
Comment from w.j.debi
The most powerful sermons can come from those that have strayed from the path.
Excellent desciptions, dialog and character development to make this story engaging and enjoyable to read.
Did you meant shutters (hinged panels) instead of shudders (trembling) in the following:
Mr. Williamson removes the shudders to let the sunlight in through the windows.
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2023
|
The most powerful sermons can come from those that have strayed from the path.
Excellent desciptions, dialog and character development to make this story engaging and enjoyable to read.
Did you meant shutters (hinged panels) instead of shudders (trembling) in the following:
Mr. Williamson removes the shudders to let the sunlight in through the windows.
Comment Written 11-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2023
-
Hello, my friend. Thank you for your kind words and help with this story. It's deeply appreciated!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
Comment from BethShelby
I like the story you dreamed up to go with your picture. This would be a good scenario. A lush who had once been a minister tells the truth as to how easily an alcoholic can fall back into the habit by allowing someone to talk you into taking one drink. Of course, for an alcoholic there is no such thing as one. His testimony would be a good object lesson for anyone.
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2023
|
I like the story you dreamed up to go with your picture. This would be a good scenario. A lush who had once been a minister tells the truth as to how easily an alcoholic can fall back into the habit by allowing someone to talk you into taking one drink. Of course, for an alcoholic there is no such thing as one. His testimony would be a good object lesson for anyone.
Comment Written 11-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2023
-
Hi, Beth. Thank you for your kind words!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
Comment from JT traveller
The dialogue in your story really brings the characters to life, Mr Kidd and the man with the shotgun, Mr Williamson.
Your descriptive abilities are fantastic, especially of the light shining on the pulpit. I can imagine myself there.
What a wonderful story with a warm, uplifting conclusion. You certainly have a gift. Jacqueline
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2023
|
The dialogue in your story really brings the characters to life, Mr Kidd and the man with the shotgun, Mr Williamson.
Your descriptive abilities are fantastic, especially of the light shining on the pulpit. I can imagine myself there.
What a wonderful story with a warm, uplifting conclusion. You certainly have a gift. Jacqueline
Comment Written 11-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2023
-
Hi, JT. Thank you for your kind words!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
-
You too. Nearly 9pm here. Good evening Mike. Jacqueline 😊
Comment from Wendy G
Very powerful story. It just shows the importance of not condemning or judging, but asking for wisdom to do and say the right thing to bring a poor lost man back to a realisation of what he needs to do. Of course, it wouldn't necessarily be a good strategy every time, but here his honesty is powerful, and his confession is real and authentic.
Well done.
Wendy
Typo?:"the shudders" or "the shutters"?
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2023
|
Very powerful story. It just shows the importance of not condemning or judging, but asking for wisdom to do and say the right thing to bring a poor lost man back to a realisation of what he needs to do. Of course, it wouldn't necessarily be a good strategy every time, but here his honesty is powerful, and his confession is real and authentic.
Well done.
Wendy
Typo?:"the shudders" or "the shutters"?
Comment Written 11-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2023
-
Hi, Wendy. Thank you for your kind words!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
This is a very inspirational story about falling from grace. With the help of another Samuel finds himself, his voice, and his Lord again. Very moving story as this widow's mite is found again.
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2023
 |
This is a very inspirational story about falling from grace. With the help of another Samuel finds himself, his voice, and his Lord again. Very moving story as this widow's mite is found again.
Comment Written 10-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2023
-
Hi, Carol. Thank you for your kind words and shiny six stars. They are deeply appreciated!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
Comment from Jim Wile
This was a very well-told and engrossing story of a lost soul who was not out to seek redemption, but seemed to find it in spite of himself. Let's see if he can take advantage of the chance he's been given and can start over again with renewed faith and a renewed sense of purpose. What a godsend was Bobby Joe.
Very well-written and exciting to the end. Great job!
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2023
|
This was a very well-told and engrossing story of a lost soul who was not out to seek redemption, but seemed to find it in spite of himself. Let's see if he can take advantage of the chance he's been given and can start over again with renewed faith and a renewed sense of purpose. What a godsend was Bobby Joe.
Very well-written and exciting to the end. Great job!
Comment Written 10-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2023
-
Hi, Jim. Thank you for your kind words!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Nicely written. Good work.
I wish all repent-and-return-to-the-Lord were that easy.
Though I believe it is possible. Most times I believe it would be best to serve under another minister's leadership first.
Best wishes.
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2023
|
Nicely written. Good work.
I wish all repent-and-return-to-the-Lord were that easy.
Though I believe it is possible. Most times I believe it would be best to serve under another minister's leadership first.
Best wishes.
Comment Written 10-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2023
-
Hi, Wayne. Thank you for your kind words!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
