Heart Crafted Poems - 2023
Viewing comments for Chapter 24 "Blind Faith"Musing of an old man
40 total reviews
Comment from Gloria ....
Nicely done, J. This is a complicated format with the repeat lines and rhyme pattern. You have done a stellar job with it.
Just this one line needs another syllable:
tuned out some to walk this way.
Much enjoyed and thank you for sharing.
Gloria
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2023
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Nicely done, J. This is a complicated format with the repeat lines and rhyme pattern. You have done a stellar job with it.
Just this one line needs another syllable:
tuned out some to walk this way.
Much enjoyed and thank you for sharing.
Gloria
Comment Written 06-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2023
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Gloria, yes that is what happens when, I change things on a whim. Thank you I will revisit this.
Comment from CrystieCookie999
This is a form I had not heard of before, so thank you for including the author notes. My favorite lines were: Knowing I am going somewhere
that God has planned
I thought it read well. I only saw a tiny hiccup:
I stumbled on those other walks
too much "ill will, way too much gin
selfish and headstrong, never wrong.
Unsure to where.
I wasn't sure why you had a quotation mark before 'ill' but not a second one somewhere else in this stanza. Maybe just put the second one in where it was supposed to go.
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2023
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This is a form I had not heard of before, so thank you for including the author notes. My favorite lines were: Knowing I am going somewhere
that God has planned
I thought it read well. I only saw a tiny hiccup:
I stumbled on those other walks
too much "ill will, way too much gin
selfish and headstrong, never wrong.
Unsure to where.
I wasn't sure why you had a quotation mark before 'ill' but not a second one somewhere else in this stanza. Maybe just put the second one in where it was supposed to go.
Comment Written 06-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2023
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Crystal, much like a dangling participle, the quote mark does not belong
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Sure thing. I also get a dangling punctuation mark once in a while, that should have been deleted or changed to something else.
Comment from Paul McFarland
This is a pretty good one, Jim. In the second stanza, I sure that you know where you are going. The last line in each stanza was a good way to drive your point home.
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2023
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This is a pretty good one, Jim. In the second stanza, I sure that you know where you are going. The last line in each stanza was a good way to drive your point home.
Comment Written 06-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2023
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Thanks Paul, yep, deep, in my over soul, I do indeed. 🙏
Comment from Sarah Das Gupta
Very appropriate picture here. Faith is a difficult 'leap in the dark'. For many people there are moments of uncertainty and doubt. But self-questioning can be a good thing.
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2023
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Very appropriate picture here. Faith is a difficult 'leap in the dark'. For many people there are moments of uncertainty and doubt. But self-questioning can be a good thing.
Comment Written 06-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2023
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Sarah, thanks 🙏
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Best wishes from Cambridge,UK
Comment from Sally Law
This is one of my newest and favorite poetry forms. You did a splendid job, and with a spiritual theme.
I will have to catch up with this and join in when I get a moment. Blessings to you all.
Sal XOs
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2023
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This is one of my newest and favorite poetry forms. You did a splendid job, and with a spiritual theme.
I will have to catch up with this and join in when I get a moment. Blessings to you all.
Sal XOs
Comment Written 06-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2023
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Looking forward to yours Sally! 🙏🙏
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Just finished it but my novella has eaten my FanStory money. LOL! Soon though. Blessings,
Sal :))
Comment from royowen
If someone were to ask why I went the apway I did, I would simply say, I looking to drink from a cup that didn't leak, whereas all the other cups I drank, leaked very much. This is a very beautiful testimony and well written, well done Jim, blessings Roy
Suggestion : that God's great plan is built on faith.
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2023
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If someone were to ask why I went the apway I did, I would simply say, I looking to drink from a cup that didn't leak, whereas all the other cups I drank, leaked very much. This is a very beautiful testimony and well written, well done Jim, blessings Roy
Suggestion : that God's great plan is built on faith.
Comment Written 06-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2023
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Roy, of course you are quite correct.👍🙏
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Welcome
Comment from Kaiku
I believe there is a song called, Walk this way. Kind of a rock song, don`t know the band but somewhere in the 70`s I think. I kind of like your message. A bit more on track and pragmatic.
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2023
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I believe there is a song called, Walk this way. Kind of a rock song, don`t know the band but somewhere in the 70`s I think. I kind of like your message. A bit more on track and pragmatic.
Comment Written 06-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2023
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Kaiku, thank you 🙏🙏
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👍😎
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Thank you for sharing this club entry with us. I enjoyed reading. Yes, walking without God's help can cause problems.
I stumbled on those other walks
too much "ill will, way too much gin
selfish and headstrong, never wrong.
Unsure to where. (The quotation marks in front of 'ill' confuse me here.)
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2023
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Thank you for sharing this club entry with us. I enjoyed reading. Yes, walking without God's help can cause problems.
I stumbled on those other walks
too much "ill will, way too much gin
selfish and headstrong, never wrong.
Unsure to where. (The quotation marks in front of 'ill' confuse me here.)
Comment Written 06-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2023
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Barbara, yes... much like a dangling participle, the quote mark does not belong 🙏🙏😞
Comment from Mintybee
This looks like a complicated form, and you seem to have the correct syllable count and rhyme scheme. There are a couple of typos to fix "tuning out on what others say" needs an edit, and there are beginning quotations marks in your fourth stanza, but not ending quotation marks. Your refrain "unsure to where" seems unfinished. I gave you the five stars anyway because of the difficulty of the form. I think the theme is fairly universal and important. It describes a journey away from the path more often chosen that is unwise, to a path that's less travelled, but more beneficial. I like that theme.
Mintybee
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2023
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This looks like a complicated form, and you seem to have the correct syllable count and rhyme scheme. There are a couple of typos to fix "tuning out on what others say" needs an edit, and there are beginning quotations marks in your fourth stanza, but not ending quotation marks. Your refrain "unsure to where" seems unfinished. I gave you the five stars anyway because of the difficulty of the form. I think the theme is fairly universal and important. It describes a journey away from the path more often chosen that is unwise, to a path that's less travelled, but more beneficial. I like that theme.
Mintybee
Comment Written 06-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2023
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much like a dangling participle, the quote mark does not belong
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
This sounds like the very confused state of mind here of a man drinking gin who is headstrong and never wrong, not a good combination here, I think I'll just let him be lost, ha ha ha, a fun post and I hope this is not autobiographical ! love Dolly x
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2023
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This sounds like the very confused state of mind here of a man drinking gin who is headstrong and never wrong, not a good combination here, I think I'll just let him be lost, ha ha ha, a fun post and I hope this is not autobiographical ! love Dolly x
Comment Written 06-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2023
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Thankfully and gratefully not autobiographical.
