Abused
a cinquain15 total reviews
Comment from JT traveller
Compelling cinquain Bill. Great choice of illustration to highlight your sobering words.
Time heals. We may forgive but never forget how people made us feel. This message comes across strongly in your poem. Jacqueline
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2023
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Compelling cinquain Bill. Great choice of illustration to highlight your sobering words.
Time heals. We may forgive but never forget how people made us feel. This message comes across strongly in your poem. Jacqueline
Comment Written 08-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2023
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Thank you, Jacqueline
Comment from Spitfire
Quite a picture. Indeed abuse will break a child. Your cinquain with its parallel use of end rhyme implies at the end that the child denies what happened to her in youth. Am I right?
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2023
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Quite a picture. Indeed abuse will break a child. Your cinquain with its parallel use of end rhyme implies at the end that the child denies what happened to her in youth. Am I right?
Comment Written 07-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2023
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From all I've read, children suppress the events and elevate the people who abused them to make it almost impossible to believe any bad thing could have happened.
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W0W! I didn't know that.
Comment from Ric Myworld
I guess the cracked doll says it best or gives example to the delicacy of a battered human form. Another child gone before it's time. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2023
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I guess the cracked doll says it best or gives example to the delicacy of a battered human form. Another child gone before it's time. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 07-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2023
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Thanks, Ric
Comment from judiverse
You have your syllable count in order in this. Great use of end rhyme. The subject of child abuse is touching. The kids don't understand what's happening and feel they are unwelcome. There is hope someone will pay attention to her and realize what's happening--maybe a teacher. The picture goes so well with your sad story. Best of luck in the contest. judi
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2023
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You have your syllable count in order in this. Great use of end rhyme. The subject of child abuse is touching. The kids don't understand what's happening and feel they are unwelcome. There is hope someone will pay attention to her and realize what's happening--maybe a teacher. The picture goes so well with your sad story. Best of luck in the contest. judi
Comment Written 06-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2023
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Thank you, Judi
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You're very welcome. This really highlights a serious problem. judi
Comment from Mary Vigasin
I cannot respond to the poetry form but to the strong emotion of the words. An abused child can be broken and confused for the reasons of punishments until finally and hopefully she or he finally understands that the abuse was not the child's fault.
Strong and powerful presentation and words.
Best wishes,
Mary
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2023
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I cannot respond to the poetry form but to the strong emotion of the words. An abused child can be broken and confused for the reasons of punishments until finally and hopefully she or he finally understands that the abuse was not the child's fault.
Strong and powerful presentation and words.
Best wishes,
Mary
Comment Written 06-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2023
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Thank you, Mary
Comment from kahpot
5 stars for the wonderful message in your excellent cinquain poem, and the extra for the rhyme and having a go, trying something different, very clever and well written, best wishes for your contest****kahpot
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2023
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5 stars for the wonderful message in your excellent cinquain poem, and the extra for the rhyme and having a go, trying something different, very clever and well written, best wishes for your contest****kahpot
Comment Written 06-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2023
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Thank you, kahpot, for the terrific review.
Comment from Cindy Decker 2
This is a very nice chinquapin, author. It's very sad and disturbing like the lives some abuse victims live.
Very effective, haunting hoot.
Blessings,
Cindy
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2023
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This is a very nice chinquapin, author. It's very sad and disturbing like the lives some abuse victims live.
Very effective, haunting hoot.
Blessings,
Cindy
Comment Written 06-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2023
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Thank you, Cindy
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I meant haunting photo, Bill.
Not hoot.
Cindy
Comment from BethShelby
This cinquain makes sense. An abused child would be confused and think it was her fault she was unwanted and treated that way until she was enlightened, maybe by therapy, that it wasn't her fault. Nice. I liked the way you rhymed it.
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2023
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This cinquain makes sense. An abused child would be confused and think it was her fault she was unwanted and treated that way until she was enlightened, maybe by therapy, that it wasn't her fault. Nice. I liked the way you rhymed it.
Comment Written 06-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2023
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Thank you, Beth
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
Your use of the monorhyme line-end gives interest to your cinquain poem, even though such an artifice, or indeed any rhyme scheme, is considered an unusual component of this poem form. kay
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2023
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Your use of the monorhyme line-end gives interest to your cinquain poem, even though such an artifice, or indeed any rhyme scheme, is considered an unusual component of this poem form. kay
Comment Written 06-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2023
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I happened to use it here, as the challenge text said it was okay. Thank you for giving this a look.
Comment from Julcia
This is a wonderful cinquain. I read it outloud to myself and I realised
all the pure white orchids in my
bedroom were overcome with sadness. Your poignant words touched me, also.
Julcia
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2023
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This is a wonderful cinquain. I read it outloud to myself and I realised
all the pure white orchids in my
bedroom were overcome with sadness. Your poignant words touched me, also.
Julcia
Comment Written 06-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2023
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Thank you, Julcia
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I feel your emotional words. I enoy reading more and more of your portfolio.
thank YOU.
Julcia
