Reviews from

Abused

a cinquain

15 total reviews 
Comment from JT traveller
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Compelling cinquain Bill. Great choice of illustration to highlight your sobering words.

Time heals. We may forgive but never forget how people made us feel. This message comes across strongly in your poem. Jacqueline

 Comment Written 08-Mar-2023


reply by the author on 08-Mar-2023
    Thank you, Jacqueline
Comment from Spitfire
Excellent
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Quite a picture. Indeed abuse will break a child. Your cinquain with its parallel use of end rhyme implies at the end that the child denies what happened to her in youth. Am I right?

 Comment Written 07-Mar-2023


reply by the author on 07-Mar-2023
    From all I've read, children suppress the events and elevate the people who abused them to make it almost impossible to believe any bad thing could have happened.
reply by Spitfire on 07-Mar-2023
    W0W! I didn't know that.
Comment from Ric Myworld
Excellent
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I guess the cracked doll says it best or gives example to the delicacy of a battered human form. Another child gone before it's time. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 07-Mar-2023


reply by the author on 07-Mar-2023
    Thanks, Ric
Comment from judiverse
Excellent
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You have your syllable count in order in this. Great use of end rhyme. The subject of child abuse is touching. The kids don't understand what's happening and feel they are unwelcome. There is hope someone will pay attention to her and realize what's happening--maybe a teacher. The picture goes so well with your sad story. Best of luck in the contest. judi

 Comment Written 06-Mar-2023


reply by the author on 06-Mar-2023
    Thank you, Judi
reply by judiverse on 07-Mar-2023
    You're very welcome. This really highlights a serious problem. judi
Comment from Mary Vigasin
Excellent
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I cannot respond to the poetry form but to the strong emotion of the words. An abused child can be broken and confused for the reasons of punishments until finally and hopefully she or he finally understands that the abuse was not the child's fault.
Strong and powerful presentation and words.
Best wishes,
Mary

 Comment Written 06-Mar-2023


reply by the author on 06-Mar-2023
    Thank you, Mary
Comment from kahpot
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

5 stars for the wonderful message in your excellent cinquain poem, and the extra for the rhyme and having a go, trying something different, very clever and well written, best wishes for your contest****kahpot

 Comment Written 06-Mar-2023


reply by the author on 06-Mar-2023
    Thank you, kahpot, for the terrific review.
Comment from Cindy Decker 2
Excellent
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This is a very nice chinquapin, author. It's very sad and disturbing like the lives some abuse victims live.
Very effective, haunting hoot.
Blessings,
Cindy

 Comment Written 06-Mar-2023


reply by the author on 06-Mar-2023
    Thank you, Cindy
reply by Cindy Decker 2 on 06-Mar-2023
    I meant haunting photo, Bill.
    Not hoot.
    Cindy
Comment from BethShelby
Excellent
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This cinquain makes sense. An abused child would be confused and think it was her fault she was unwanted and treated that way until she was enlightened, maybe by therapy, that it wasn't her fault. Nice. I liked the way you rhymed it.

 Comment Written 06-Mar-2023


reply by the author on 06-Mar-2023
    Thank you, Beth
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
Excellent
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Your use of the monorhyme line-end gives interest to your cinquain poem, even though such an artifice, or indeed any rhyme scheme, is considered an unusual component of this poem form. kay

 Comment Written 06-Mar-2023


reply by the author on 06-Mar-2023
    I happened to use it here, as the challenge text said it was okay. Thank you for giving this a look.
Comment from Julcia
Excellent
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This is a wonderful cinquain. I read it outloud to myself and I realised
all the pure white orchids in my
bedroom were overcome with sadness. Your poignant words touched me, also.
Julcia

 Comment Written 06-Mar-2023


reply by the author on 06-Mar-2023
    Thank you, Julcia
reply by Julcia on 06-Mar-2023
    I feel your emotional words. I enoy reading more and more of your portfolio.
    thank YOU.
    Julcia