Reviews from

Be Wee With Bea Part 3

Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "Zoe's Plan is Played Out"
Third in a series is quite sad in the beginning.

8 total reviews 
Comment from papa55mike
Excellent
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Now that's an interesting set of characters having adventures throughout the land. What a wonderfully written chapter. Best of luck with your book!

Have a great day, and God bless.
mike

 Comment Written 10-Mar-2023


reply by the author on 10-Mar-2023
    Thank you for your delightful review. I'm glad you appreciated it.
Comment from Sarah Das Gupta
Excellent
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The ingenious escape of Doolie will appeal to younger readers and the important lesson of the need to cooperate and work as a team. Zoe too learns the importance of family and friends.

 Comment Written 10-Mar-2023


reply by the author on 10-Mar-2023
    Thank you for your appreciative review. I'm glad you enjoyed it. If you are interested in reading previous chapter, feel free without any need for a review. Just enjoy it.
reply by Sarah Das Gupta on 11-Mar-2023
    All best wishes!
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2023
    You also
Comment from Brett Matthew West
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"black stick that shot things worse than pebbles" a good description of a shotgun.

May suggest deleting "even" in "leaves even began" as an unnecessary filler word.

That is what friends are for, helping each other out, even when they are stuck in mud.

 Comment Written 08-Mar-2023


reply by the author on 08-Mar-2023
    Thank you for your involved review. I appreciate it.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
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I think this was one of your best posts. It was a lot clearer than some. Thank you for sharing.

Doolie, the captive bear, needed her puppies to come by soon to help her escape. (omit comma)

The lever to the door was raised, their mom was free and whisked them away from danger. (really two sentences here. The lever to the door raised. Their mom was free and whisked them away from danger.

 Comment Written 06-Mar-2023


reply by the author on 06-Mar-2023
    Thank you for your appreciative review. When writing it school. I was corrected because I omitted too many places needing a comma. Now I over compensate. I'm comma-happy. It's as if Christopher Walken is reading my script.
Comment from aryr
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A good continuation chapter, Liz. This was very interesting, in fact it was down right, awesome. I am so glad they were able to save Zoe who stuck in the mud. Very well done and greatly enjoyed. Blessings n Hugs!

 Comment Written 05-Mar-2023


reply by the author on 06-Mar-2023
    Thank you for your delightful review. I'm so glad you appreciated it.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
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This was much less confusing as there was a problem and a solution all in the same story. Zoe learned she was really cared for and was so happy to be taken back by Buddy Bear. The sentence that begins "She told Buddy Bear . . . " is a little confusing. Do you have your pronouns correct?

 Comment Written 05-Mar-2023


reply by the author on 06-Mar-2023
    Thank you for your supportive review. I'm glad this was easier for you to follow.
Comment from Jay Squires
Excellent
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Good! This was a lot clearer, with more followable action that the last chapter. Both Doolie's escape and the group effort to free Zoe were dramatic and the outcomes heartwarming. Thank you, Liz!

Jay

 Comment Written 05-Mar-2023


reply by the author on 06-Mar-2023
    Thank you for your supportive review. I'm glad this was easier for you to follow.
Comment from lyenochka
Excellent
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I liked all the cooperation described in the rescue of Doolie and of Zoe. It's hard to imagine all those animals climbing up on one another to unlock the cage for Doolie. And it was all of Zoe's family who worked together to free her from the water and reassure her place in the family.

Comments:
strategic, deceptive Zoe, outwitted them. (no comma after Zoe since that's the subject to "outwitted")

She told buddy bear he figured (Buddy) and wouldn't the "he" be a "she"? Perhaps reword to not use so many pronouns?

 Comment Written 05-Mar-2023


reply by the author on 06-Mar-2023
    Thank you for your ever supportive review. I'm glad you appreciated it.