Be Wee With Bea Part 3
Viewing comments for Chapter 9 "The Rescue"Third in a series is quite sad in the beginning.
9 total reviews
Comment from country ranch writer
Hope they can reach the crate in time to let her out of that horrible place. I wonder why Zoe is unhappy? Maybe she will learn it didn't pay to run away.
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2023
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Hope they can reach the crate in time to let her out of that horrible place. I wonder why Zoe is unhappy? Maybe she will learn it didn't pay to run away.
Comment Written 02-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2023
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Thank you for your involved review. You are absolutely right about Zoe. Reaching the crate with Doolie will be an interesting event.
Comment from Ulla
Hi Liz, I'm; slowly getting into this story and it's definitely growing on me. I'm so glad that the horse was set free, but now Doolie is in deep trouble. I'm worried what the cruel man is going to do..Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2023
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Hi Liz, I'm; slowly getting into this story and it's definitely growing on me. I'm so glad that the horse was set free, but now Doolie is in deep trouble. I'm worried what the cruel man is going to do..Ulla:)))
Comment Written 01-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2023
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Thank you for your involved review. I'm glad you are enjoying it.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I'm glad Doolie set the horse free from the cruel man, but now Doolie is in trouble. I hope someone comes to help. Thank you for sharing this with us. I enjoyed reading.
They informed Maddie that they'd be back before dark. Maddie assured them that she'd be fine. (you can omit, both 'that')
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2023
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I'm glad Doolie set the horse free from the cruel man, but now Doolie is in trouble. I hope someone comes to help. Thank you for sharing this with us. I enjoyed reading.
They informed Maddie that they'd be back before dark. Maddie assured them that she'd be fine. (you can omit, both 'that')
Comment Written 01-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2023
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Thank you for your ever supportive review. Oh, yes that's right. That is actually my project today...to scan from the beginning
chapter, all my times I've used 'that' Thank you for affirming me on that . I wondered originally. & now you have confirmed it. I can nominate you now that it s a new month. Ooof I just got told it is too early in the month to nominate anyone yet...you are on my list. It will happen.
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LOL
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707
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I eliminated 300 out of 500 that's so far within 15 chapters...bwaaa
Comment from eliz100
I enjoyed reading your story. There is one phrase that is a little confusing for me, "who was now at the bridge of rainbows (,). If this is not right pls let me know. I questioned whether I should correct an English teacher. There is another phrase that is difficult for me to understand, "there would be no (not) one loud beaver slap." Have a blessed day.
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2023
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I enjoyed reading your story. There is one phrase that is a little confusing for me, "who was now at the bridge of rainbows (,). If this is not right pls let me know. I questioned whether I should correct an English teacher. There is another phrase that is difficult for me to understand, "there would be no (not) one loud beaver slap." Have a blessed day.
Comment Written 01-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2023
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Thank you for your delightful review. It would be scary to correct an English teacher wouldn't it. lol I am still learning more from being on here.I was only 23 when I began teaching English. I'm 76 & still wanting to learn.
Comment from aryr
Great job with the continuation chapter, Liz. There is a lot of confusion going on here, a whole heck of a lot. I really enjoyed reading about Bea, Doolie, Maddie, Willow and the horse. Very well done and greatly enjoyed. Blessings n Hugs!!!
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2023
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Great job with the continuation chapter, Liz. There is a lot of confusion going on here, a whole heck of a lot. I really enjoyed reading about Bea, Doolie, Maddie, Willow and the horse. Very well done and greatly enjoyed. Blessings n Hugs!!!
Comment Written 01-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2023
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Thank you for your refreshing review. This was the dark part of my life. I was 'let go' from my job. Three days later my former partner Maureen (Doolie) died from a botched surgery & 6 months later, Sweet Puppy went to the rainbow bridge. It got better, I began again as this book focuses on.
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On another note, I guess we have to say good bye to Anne. I don't know what happened, but it can't be good. I dowsed that she has gone on to her new adventure. Hopefully we will meet at another time.
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You are so welcome, Liz. I am so sorry about Maureen (Doolie) died because of botched surgery and Sweet Puppy went over the rainbow bridge. What a horrible situation with Anne. Prayers for all of them.
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Wow, about your job.
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The place I was working had a greedy change of administration. They wanted to wipe out the memory of the previous Adm so they witch hunted many of us. Some good psych nurses were let go. Now it all travelers.There'sno consistency. My friend Cyndy (she's in the book...she named her sheep Stewy...lol) Cyndy is waiting another year or so to retire. She flies under the radar & causes no problem...hopefully she can make it & because she was more recent, they didn't need to eliminate her.
Comment from lyenochka
What a sad time it is for Bea Bear as she ponders her friendships as so many have gone to the "Rainbow Bridge." There is too much loss in her life.
Comments:
as Doolie and her mom called it a black stick (comma "it" and maybe the whole name could be in quotes.
Actually, more direct dialogue would bring us more into the action instead of being told what was said to whom.
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2023
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What a sad time it is for Bea Bear as she ponders her friendships as so many have gone to the "Rainbow Bridge." There is too much loss in her life.
Comments:
as Doolie and her mom called it a black stick (comma "it" and maybe the whole name could be in quotes.
Actually, more direct dialogue would bring us more into the action instead of being told what was said to whom.
Comment Written 01-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2023
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Thank you for your involved review. This was my sadness about 6 years ago when I was 'let go' from my job. 3 days later Maureen, my former partner (Doolie) Died of a botched surgery. Then 6 months later, Sweet Puppy went to the Rainbow Bridge. But I began again as this book focuses on.
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That's a lot of grief to recover from. Sigh. 💞
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Eckhart Tolle said it is silly to resist what is. So after2 years of resisting, I stopped resisting. It brought wonderful light into my life. Now, I have Sammy, whose story is up soon. He is no Scruffles, but I have Scruffle's spirit help me with him...bwaaa
Comment from Jay Squires
Liz, I know you enough from my previous discussions with you on your other books, that I feel I can be honest and direct with you on this one. I'm having a lot more trouble relating to your characters because you are spending so much time with expository: telling your reader what is happening. At one point you even used the word "backstory". It pulls the reader out of any identification with the dramatic evolution of a character through his/her difficult encounters with adversity. In this chapter, I haven't found any dramatic arc. The only real dramatic movement was toward the end when Doolie went into the man's cabin. Then it ended.
I made one specific suggestion: "Their mom was locked in a large locked wire crate and the brave puppies had to rescue her. [It creates an unfortunate echo having a word used twice in the same sentence. Consider finding a synonym for one of the "locked" words. Like imprisoned.]
I hope you don't consider my review hurtful. That was never my intention. It's just that I have read others of your novels, and I know you know how to develop emotionally moving action in your novels. It just seems lacking in this one.
Jay
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2023
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Liz, I know you enough from my previous discussions with you on your other books, that I feel I can be honest and direct with you on this one. I'm having a lot more trouble relating to your characters because you are spending so much time with expository: telling your reader what is happening. At one point you even used the word "backstory". It pulls the reader out of any identification with the dramatic evolution of a character through his/her difficult encounters with adversity. In this chapter, I haven't found any dramatic arc. The only real dramatic movement was toward the end when Doolie went into the man's cabin. Then it ended.
I made one specific suggestion: "Their mom was locked in a large locked wire crate and the brave puppies had to rescue her. [It creates an unfortunate echo having a word used twice in the same sentence. Consider finding a synonym for one of the "locked" words. Like imprisoned.]
I hope you don't consider my review hurtful. That was never my intention. It's just that I have read others of your novels, and I know you know how to develop emotionally moving action in your novels. It just seems lacking in this one.
Jay
Comment Written 28-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2023
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Thank you for your insightful review. I appreciate your support. I have made note of your observations.
Comment from lancellot
A very well crafted chapter. I think this children's story is going well. I would suggest less pronouns and more proper names in the beginning paragraphs, just to make following easier.
Good work.
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2023
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A very well crafted chapter. I think this children's story is going well. I would suggest less pronouns and more proper names in the beginning paragraphs, just to make following easier.
Good work.
Comment Written 28-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2023
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Thank you for your insightful review. I appreciate your compliments.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
This seems a bit disorganized. I thought in the last part that Doolie died. How now does Maddie save her? Or is she alive but caught in a trap when she was trying to rescue a horse?
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2023
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This seems a bit disorganized. I thought in the last part that Doolie died. How now does Maddie save her? Or is she alive but caught in a trap when she was trying to rescue a horse?
Comment Written 28-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2023
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Thank you for your review. Maddie is remembering how Willow helped her realize how strong she was. She was reflecting about something in Part 2. It's a way of summarizing previous incidences
