Housewife
Tale of a housewife20 total reviews
Comment from jake cosmos aller
hmm I liked this poem about motherhood, marriage, and changes that life presents us all. I like the simple down to earth language, and the rhyming couplet form works well
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2023
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hmm I liked this poem about motherhood, marriage, and changes that life presents us all. I like the simple down to earth language, and the rhyming couplet form works well
Comment Written 24-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2023
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Thank you!! :)
Comment from Ulla
I loved this monorhyme poem that told a whole story.within. yes indeed, one night of indulgence changed all the plans which appeared to be set in stone. But that one mistake bought many other riches. Good luck. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2023
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I loved this monorhyme poem that told a whole story.within. yes indeed, one night of indulgence changed all the plans which appeared to be set in stone. But that one mistake bought many other riches. Good luck. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 24-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2023
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Thanks so much! :)
Comment from Sarah Das Gupta
This reads like a true-life saga! The picture is great and really complements the poem. This a very demanding form which is generally well-managed. In one or two places, the rhyme seems a little forced.
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2023
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This reads like a true-life saga! The picture is great and really complements the poem. This a very demanding form which is generally well-managed. In one or two places, the rhyme seems a little forced.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2023
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Thank you for your feedback!
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Best wishes!
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
"Spending all their time together on the bed, table, or floor" lol. I can relate. Sometimes I think about that time but my children are worth so much more.
Excellent poem entry for the rhymes and meter contest. Your rhymes are not forced and they flow well.
the structure makes sense, it draws on emotions and it presents strong images.
Gypsy
"Poetry heals the wounds inflicted by reason" -- Novalis
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2023
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"Spending all their time together on the bed, table, or floor" lol. I can relate. Sometimes I think about that time but my children are worth so much more.
Excellent poem entry for the rhymes and meter contest. Your rhymes are not forced and they flow well.
the structure makes sense, it draws on emotions and it presents strong images.
Gypsy
"Poetry heals the wounds inflicted by reason" -- Novalis
Comment Written 24-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2023
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Thank you so much!! :)
Comment from Mintybee
This is a nice tale of redemption. The lovers made a mistake, but have found a way to cherish the family they have. I found one type, "Prior to marriage, and two kids- of whom she does adore" I don't think the word of should be there. You did well with the monorhyme requirement, which is not easy to do in a poem this long. Nicely done.
Mintybee
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2023
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This is a nice tale of redemption. The lovers made a mistake, but have found a way to cherish the family they have. I found one type, "Prior to marriage, and two kids- of whom she does adore" I don't think the word of should be there. You did well with the monorhyme requirement, which is not easy to do in a poem this long. Nicely done.
Mintybee
Comment Written 24-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2023
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Ah, thank you!! Appreciate your feedback and catch! :)
Comment from Tom Horonzy
Well, you did swell on this monorhyme, and in reading it did so on your own without the help of Roget's decorous thesaurus. In addition, if confession is good for the soul, you are surely on your way to heaven.
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2023
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Well, you did swell on this monorhyme, and in reading it did so on your own without the help of Roget's decorous thesaurus. In addition, if confession is good for the soul, you are surely on your way to heaven.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2023
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Thank you so much for your kind words.
Comment from Kaiku
This was a really fun read. Told a very endearing story and focused squarely on the housewife and mother. The rhyming scheme worked. A very good entry. Hope this was your beloved wife you were writing about.
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2023
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This was a really fun read. Told a very endearing story and focused squarely on the housewife and mother. The rhyming scheme worked. A very good entry. Hope this was your beloved wife you were writing about.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2023
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Thanks so much!
Comment from BermyBye50
This is a well-written entry for the Monorhyme writing contest. It accurately chronicles the many aspects of the life of a housewife. It flows well and the end rhymes are consistent and bursting with imagery highlighting the everyday challenges of her never-ending job. Well done.
All the best in the contest,
Eugene
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2023
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This is a well-written entry for the Monorhyme writing contest. It accurately chronicles the many aspects of the life of a housewife. It flows well and the end rhymes are consistent and bursting with imagery highlighting the everyday challenges of her never-ending job. Well done.
All the best in the contest,
Eugene
Comment Written 24-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2023
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Thank you very much
Comment from JT traveller
While I appreciated your monorhyme and accompanying illustration I could not imagine, in this day and age, that all your hopes and dreams seemed to disappear so easily.
If this is fiction, a well spun tale/poem.
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reply by the author on 24-Feb-2023
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While I appreciated your monorhyme and accompanying illustration I could not imagine, in this day and age, that all your hopes and dreams seemed to disappear so easily.
If this is fiction, a well spun tale/poem.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2023
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This housewife is technically a fictional character - having a few different sources of inspiration behind this poem. However, mainly one source in particular.
I want to thank you for your comment and your honesty. Truthfully, I can't say I disagree. After reading your review, I decided to edit and add a few words to this poem. Your perspective and opinion motivated me to disclose a piece of her story that I initially hadn't, and struggled with whether I should. Things are rarely that simple. Thanks again for your feedback.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
This is a clever write, I adore the sentiment and the matching end rhymes. The metre is slightly uneven in places but for me you captured a sense of disappoint that a woman feels when she is just a housewife and without a career she is considered not so important in life. This attitude is so sad as women past masters at multitasking, at least this girl had great success, good luck with the contest, love Dolly x
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2023
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This is a clever write, I adore the sentiment and the matching end rhymes. The metre is slightly uneven in places but for me you captured a sense of disappoint that a woman feels when she is just a housewife and without a career she is considered not so important in life. This attitude is so sad as women past masters at multitasking, at least this girl had great success, good luck with the contest, love Dolly x
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2023
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Thanks so much, Dolly.
