Fretting for Trees
impatient spring19 total reviews
Comment from jacquelyn popp
I enjoyed reading y our haiku about spring. I am looking forward to when it gets here. Good photo though hat goes well with your poem. I liked the green background. Green is a spring color I believe. Your words flow well through the poem. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2023
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I enjoyed reading y our haiku about spring. I am looking forward to when it gets here. Good photo though hat goes well with your poem. I liked the green background. Green is a spring color I believe. Your words flow well through the poem. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 25-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2023
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Thank you for your review!
Comment from Kaiku
some call it poetic license when you go off key so to speak. It has been suggested to me that a dash at the end of the second line helps to set-up the last line. It`s kind of a the hidden `punctuation`. Your green made me think of a popsicle
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2023
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some call it poetic license when you go off key so to speak. It has been suggested to me that a dash at the end of the second line helps to set-up the last line. It`s kind of a the hidden `punctuation`. Your green made me think of a popsicle
Comment Written 25-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2023
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Thanks for your review.
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Certainly
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
This is a lovely Haiku, depicting the winter months and heralding the coming of spring and new life. Spring is my favourite season. Mother Nature is life giving to all, even us. Well done, I really enjoyed your poem. Good luck in the contest. :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2023
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This is a lovely Haiku, depicting the winter months and heralding the coming of spring and new life. Spring is my favourite season. Mother Nature is life giving to all, even us. Well done, I really enjoyed your poem. Good luck in the contest. :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 25-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2023
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Thank you for your review!
Comment from tempeste
Ciao,
Lots of people are glad when winter is over and Mother Nature awakens. Spring hues and scents come forth.
Personally, I think each season has its own special beauty. Green is my favourite colour and it's such a delight to watch the trees make new foliage come Spring.
In Summer I love to listen to the orchestra or insects while I watch the sun go down and bats dart to and fro at twilight.
Autumn is my best season, I just adore the warm sunset leaves, collecting chestnuts, and finding mushrooms for my risotti.
And in Winter the dark naked trees and branches covered in snow glisten like gems in the sunshine.
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2023
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Ciao,
Lots of people are glad when winter is over and Mother Nature awakens. Spring hues and scents come forth.
Personally, I think each season has its own special beauty. Green is my favourite colour and it's such a delight to watch the trees make new foliage come Spring.
In Summer I love to listen to the orchestra or insects while I watch the sun go down and bats dart to and fro at twilight.
Autumn is my best season, I just adore the warm sunset leaves, collecting chestnuts, and finding mushrooms for my risotti.
And in Winter the dark naked trees and branches covered in snow glisten like gems in the sunshine.
Comment Written 25-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2023
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Thank you for your review!
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You are welcome!🙂
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
I like the human touch here as Spring is a Mother hoping and praying for the birth of trees as the season encourages growth, I liked your unique thought process here, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2023
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I like the human touch here as Spring is a Mother hoping and praying for the birth of trees as the season encourages growth, I liked your unique thought process here, love Dolly x
Comment Written 25-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2023
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Thank you for your kind review!
Comment from jake cosmos aller
well I liked the original submission and the re-worked version as well. Both work well in my opinion. trees are a symbol of spring as they wait for the weather to warm them up
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2023
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well I liked the original submission and the re-worked version as well. Both work well in my opinion. trees are a symbol of spring as they wait for the weather to warm them up
Comment Written 24-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2023
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Thanks for your feedback. I liked the original better, but I suppose it wasn't a proper haiku. Thanks for reading both.
Mintybee
Comment from lyenochka
Hi ! I enjoyed your picture of Spring as a fretting mom worried over her children not having enough "clothes" on in winter. I have been told that I shouldn't use personification but Gypsy says it's fine. She leads a bunch of short poetry clubs in the Social menu. I know that will be helpful to participate.
There are many rules about haiku. One of the best explanations I read was in the notes to Gloria's haiku: https://fanstory.com/displaystory.jsp?id=969391
I'm no expert but if I were to write your poem, but since I find your first line the most powerful, I'd write it something like:
all winter long
trees wait cold and bare
mother spring frets
But please don't change anything. Yours may be perfect as it is. Best wishes in the contest!
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2023
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Hi ! I enjoyed your picture of Spring as a fretting mom worried over her children not having enough "clothes" on in winter. I have been told that I shouldn't use personification but Gypsy says it's fine. She leads a bunch of short poetry clubs in the Social menu. I know that will be helpful to participate.
There are many rules about haiku. One of the best explanations I read was in the notes to Gloria's haiku: https://fanstory.com/displaystory.jsp?id=969391
I'm no expert but if I were to write your poem, but since I find your first line the most powerful, I'd write it something like:
all winter long
trees wait cold and bare
mother spring frets
But please don't change anything. Yours may be perfect as it is. Best wishes in the contest!
Comment Written 24-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2023
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Thank you for the thorough review! Gypsy was a big help in revising this. Thank you for the additional source of information.
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So glad you got help from Gypsy. I learn lots from reading her poetry.
Comment from harmony13
The first two lines of this poem flow and connect well. The last line says it all! When I live in New York I remember the trees that looked cold and bare as the author implies before Spring arrives! The poem flows and connects well. The artwork goes well with this poem.
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2023
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The first two lines of this poem flow and connect well. The last line says it all! When I live in New York I remember the trees that looked cold and bare as the author implies before Spring arrives! The poem flows and connects well. The artwork goes well with this poem.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2023
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Thank you for your review!
Comment from PoemsOfDD
I like the premise of this short 5-7-5 haiku piece. Spring and winter seasons, a common theme but one that has a lot to offer. The personification of spring as a mother looking out over the nakedness of winter trees is clever. An enjoyable entry for the haiku contest.
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2023
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I like the premise of this short 5-7-5 haiku piece. Spring and winter seasons, a common theme but one that has a lot to offer. The personification of spring as a mother looking out over the nakedness of winter trees is clever. An enjoyable entry for the haiku contest.
Comment Written 23-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2023
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Thank you for your kind review!
Comment from patcelaw
You did a very good job with this haiku. Your message didn't come across in this poem as well. I wish you the very best in the contest. Have a good night. Patricia.
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2023
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You did a very good job with this haiku. Your message didn't come across in this poem as well. I wish you the very best in the contest. Have a good night. Patricia.
Comment Written 23-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2023
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Thanks for the review!
