Heart Crafted Poems - 2023
Viewing comments for Chapter 20 "A Pitcher of Hope"Musing of an old man
31 total reviews
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Your contest entry was well done, JLR. You adhered to the
rules as required. Although I don't know the poet you used
to select your quote from, you expressed your thoughts and
feelings well based on those lines. I believed you meant each
person can benefit from silence at times rather than just speaking
and jabbering about insignificant things. The world is constantly
changing, and sometimes one just needs to be quiet and listen
and learn from it. There's plenty of misinformation, turmoil, hate,
and media woes which one doesn't need to add more. Take some time
to mull over what is/isn't happening and think before opening one's
mouth.
Thanks for sharing and best wishes in the contest, Jan
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2023
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Your contest entry was well done, JLR. You adhered to the
rules as required. Although I don't know the poet you used
to select your quote from, you expressed your thoughts and
feelings well based on those lines. I believed you meant each
person can benefit from silence at times rather than just speaking
and jabbering about insignificant things. The world is constantly
changing, and sometimes one just needs to be quiet and listen
and learn from it. There's plenty of misinformation, turmoil, hate,
and media woes which one doesn't need to add more. Take some time
to mull over what is/isn't happening and think before opening one's
mouth.
Thanks for sharing and best wishes in the contest, Jan
Comment Written 23-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2023
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Jan thank you, if interested, here is more about Justin Farley https://alongthebarrenroad.com/author/jafarley/
Comment from harmony13
The author's words are extremely thought provoking and filled with
meaning. I also liked the quote "There is wisdom in silence". The poem
flows and connects well. The artwork and title go well with this poem.
Hope you are doing well!....Maria
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2023
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The author's words are extremely thought provoking and filled with
meaning. I also liked the quote "There is wisdom in silence". The poem
flows and connects well. The artwork and title go well with this poem.
Hope you are doing well!....Maria
Comment Written 23-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2023
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Maria , thank you for your review and comments. All Is going well, as I hope the same for you.
Comment from Mrs. KT
Hello, JLR!
I enjoy and appreciate the sentiments in your well-crafted Glosa poetic offering.
There IS "wisdom in silence." Unfortunately, most people like to hear themselves talk! I often told my students, "All of you can hear, but very few of you listen... because you are always thinking that what you have to say is more important than the speaker!" Yikes!
Thank you for sharing!
Best Wishes!
diane
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2023
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Hello, JLR!
I enjoy and appreciate the sentiments in your well-crafted Glosa poetic offering.
There IS "wisdom in silence." Unfortunately, most people like to hear themselves talk! I often told my students, "All of you can hear, but very few of you listen... because you are always thinking that what you have to say is more important than the speaker!" Yikes!
Thank you for sharing!
Best Wishes!
diane
Comment Written 23-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2023
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Diane, thank you for your acknowledgement.
Comment from Wendy G
An excellent entry for the Glosa contest, which to my mind is a very demanding poetic form. I feel you have elaborated very well on each of the lines you chose, and have composed a strong and meaningful Glosa. Best wishes for your entry.
Wendy
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2023
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An excellent entry for the Glosa contest, which to my mind is a very demanding poetic form. I feel you have elaborated very well on each of the lines you chose, and have composed a strong and meaningful Glosa. Best wishes for your entry.
Wendy
Comment Written 22-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2023
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Wendy, I va,use your thoughtful comments. Thank you.
Comment from INtity
Like an flowing pitcher should be a flowing pitcher. Replace an with a. I think the poem is good and has excellent word choices and metaphors. I see a few hiccups with the flow but this has the potential to be six stars.
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2023
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Like an flowing pitcher should be a flowing pitcher. Replace an with a. I think the poem is good and has excellent word choices and metaphors. I see a few hiccups with the flow but this has the potential to be six stars.
Comment Written 22-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2023
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Inity, thank you however, if you notice, the poet Justin Farley who?s poem it is that I am reflecting on is where the an is used, I do not feel that I have the right to reword another poets poem. I however agree that is a correct.so the potential for a six is in control of the readers.
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
You make me thirsty after viewing that pitcher of water. Seeds of wisdom is so needed in the world today. When the water flows from a pitcher and it contains wisdom, I think we should drink lots of liquid intelligence.
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2023
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You make me thirsty after viewing that pitcher of water. Seeds of wisdom is so needed in the world today. When the water flows from a pitcher and it contains wisdom, I think we should drink lots of liquid intelligence.
Comment Written 22-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2023
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Rosemary than you!
Comment from Ulla
I think you have written an amazing free verse poem with the difficult rules provided. Lets all pray for a happy outcome. Our world is in a very in difficult spot. Good luck. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2023
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I think you have written an amazing free verse poem with the difficult rules provided. Lets all pray for a happy outcome. Our world is in a very in difficult spot. Good luck. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 22-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2023
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Ulla, thank you so much from your wonderful validation!
Comment from Kaiku
Lots of good stuff. First though, I believe you might want to change `an flowing pitcher` to `a flowing pitcher` Unless I am missing something. Certainly worthy of work to be recognized.
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2023
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Lots of good stuff. First though, I believe you might want to change `an flowing pitcher` to `a flowing pitcher` Unless I am missing something. Certainly worthy of work to be recognized.
Comment Written 22-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2023
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Kailku, while I totally agree with you, I feel it would be wrong for me to change the language of the Poet Justin Farley whose words I expanded upon. JLR
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I agree. I thought maybe it was a typo. Guess not. 👍
Comment from Frank Malley
I had to learn what a 'glosa' poem was to understand JLR's poem design. Related to what a gloss is, meaning an explanation, a glosa is a poem that expands on an earlier poem, and perhaps uses the four lines excerpted from that earlier poem as a framework or perhaps as a counterpoint. So: since JLR's glosa poem is sourced in some sense by a poem from Justin Farley, I looked up what poetry of his was easily available; not a lot, altho there's a ton available for sale. To say I was unimpressed exaggerates my response. But - Google knows who he is, which says something. What? Puzzling, to me. If I examine the four lines by Farley within JLR's poem, they read "There's wisdom in silence/Silence breeds seeds of wisdom/Knowledge pours in like an flowing pitcher ['an is incorrect]/of water into an empty basin." These lines reveal a truth, one of a myriad of truths about silence; the images of "seeds," "pitcher," and "empty basin" seem pretty well beat to death, to me. JLR's own words amplifying Farley's putative meanings are more interesting and challenging, but these four stanzas of ten lines each (each line contains one line from Farley) are a lament about the nature of power in our world, its ability to mislead and control. The ending espouses hope as something we must resort to, along with a cautious silence, in a depressing world where everything is repressed, suppressed, depressed, and unmovable. There is a good deal of language intelligence in JLR's poem, but it needs somehow to align itself more intelligibly with its theme to be better than good.
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reply by the author on 22-Feb-2023
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I had to learn what a 'glosa' poem was to understand JLR's poem design. Related to what a gloss is, meaning an explanation, a glosa is a poem that expands on an earlier poem, and perhaps uses the four lines excerpted from that earlier poem as a framework or perhaps as a counterpoint. So: since JLR's glosa poem is sourced in some sense by a poem from Justin Farley, I looked up what poetry of his was easily available; not a lot, altho there's a ton available for sale. To say I was unimpressed exaggerates my response. But - Google knows who he is, which says something. What? Puzzling, to me. If I examine the four lines by Farley within JLR's poem, they read "There's wisdom in silence/Silence breeds seeds of wisdom/Knowledge pours in like an flowing pitcher ['an is incorrect]/of water into an empty basin." These lines reveal a truth, one of a myriad of truths about silence; the images of "seeds," "pitcher," and "empty basin" seem pretty well beat to death, to me. JLR's own words amplifying Farley's putative meanings are more interesting and challenging, but these four stanzas of ten lines each (each line contains one line from Farley) are a lament about the nature of power in our world, its ability to mislead and control. The ending espouses hope as something we must resort to, along with a cautious silence, in a depressing world where everything is repressed, suppressed, depressed, and unmovable. There is a good deal of language intelligence in JLR's poem, but it needs somehow to align itself more intelligibly with its theme to be better than good.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 22-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2023
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Frank just for your edification if of any interest
Read more of Mr. Farley?s poetry. https://alongthebarrenroad.com/author/jafarley
JLR
Comment from Paul McFarland
I nice narrative of what we are going through, Jim. You have done a good job with a very difficult prompt. I do have hope. I don't know if it's going to be enough. Probably need some prayer.
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2023
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I nice narrative of what we are going through, Jim. You have done a good job with a very difficult prompt. I do have hope. I don't know if it's going to be enough. Probably need some prayer.
Comment Written 22-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2023
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Thank you Paul.
