A Poetic Pause
Viewing comments for Chapter 27 "Crush"First Poems
14 total reviews
Comment from Ricky1024
They say the most supreme punishment is going to hell.
But in reality you are treated as you treat others and eventually that's how we all will be judged.
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This was well written rich in Theme and Imagery.
Thanks for sharing this and good luck with your contest entry.
Doctor Ricky
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2023
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They say the most supreme punishment is going to hell.
But in reality you are treated as you treat others and eventually that's how we all will be judged.
...
This was well written rich in Theme and Imagery.
Thanks for sharing this and good luck with your contest entry.
Doctor Ricky
Comment Written 01-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2023
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Thank you so much for your review I always appreciate seeing your name i'm reading your words! Coming from you it means a lot. Your review and your time is always welcome here thank you again!
Comment from Alexandra Trovato
Your photo terrified me but, I was afraid of the Cowardly Lion in the Wizard of Oz movie. It was appropriate for your poem. That fear of the unknown, or yet to come, or whatever is waiting around the corner, is how I perceived your words. I'eve come to believe in life that the kind of fear, which involves fearing something that isn't directly a threat, is the worst kind of fear. That kind of fear attachés to ones imagination, and triples in size. Great work! :)
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2023
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Your photo terrified me but, I was afraid of the Cowardly Lion in the Wizard of Oz movie. It was appropriate for your poem. That fear of the unknown, or yet to come, or whatever is waiting around the corner, is how I perceived your words. I'eve come to believe in life that the kind of fear, which involves fearing something that isn't directly a threat, is the worst kind of fear. That kind of fear attachés to ones imagination, and triples in size. Great work! :)
Comment Written 01-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2023
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Thank you so much Alexandra for your insight and for your review. I am eternally happy to receive them! This poem does directly reflect the unknown and fear of it. Thank you for your time and your kind comments I hope you have a great day!
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You have a great day too!
Comment from Alan Tryens
The way I interpret your poem may not be what you intended. Someone has something on you, they are in control and you are at their mercy. Are they going to crush you, expose you, or are they going to let it pass. Releasing you from their grasp. I liked your poem a lot. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2023
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The way I interpret your poem may not be what you intended. Someone has something on you, they are in control and you are at their mercy. Are they going to crush you, expose you, or are they going to let it pass. Releasing you from their grasp. I liked your poem a lot. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 30-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2023
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Thank you so much for your review Alan. I really appreciate it and for your kind words and you are exactly on the money when you're interpretation very good very insightful. Thank you for your time and I hope you have an awesome day!
Comment from Bill Schott
This one-line poem, Crush, has the proper formatting and would really mean something different if not for the blurbs before and after the poem. Interesting and meaningful.
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2023
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This one-line poem, Crush, has the proper formatting and would really mean something different if not for the blurbs before and after the poem. Interesting and meaningful.
Comment Written 30-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2023
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Thank you! I appreciate your thoughts your time and your kind review.
I hope you have a great and awesome day. Thank you very much again!
Comment from Sarah Das Gupta
I have to admit I have not heard this phrase before. The photo is frightening and together with the text it evokes terrifying images of a child in a awful situation. I think Covid and lockdown made these situations even worse!
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2023
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I have to admit I have not heard this phrase before. The photo is frightening and together with the text it evokes terrifying images of a child in a awful situation. I think Covid and lockdown made these situations even worse!
Comment Written 30-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2023
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You're absolutely right about that? A lot more domestic violence going on in the world and the young ones never know. If they're coming or going you sir appreciate you looking at and offering your thoughts and I hope you have a great day.!
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Best wishes from UK
Comment from Destiny Awaits Darling
Lea!
Ohmygosh, do I feel this one in my SOUL! I too have one parent who is 'softer' than the other, and your poem HIT on EXACTLY how a child's, now-grown-up, psyche is forever altered by an abusive parent.
The sad truth is, despite how much we WISH that one parent's love could cancel out the abuse and contempt from the other-- trauma, especially consistent, childhood trauma, just isn't something that can be 'balanced out.' I wish that outsiders could understand that-- maybe then we survivors wouldn't hear so often, "just get over it."
I'm so sorry that you know the pain of never feeling safe-- even with people who haven't done anything to hurt you. I'm so sorry that you know what it's like to EXPECT abuse, and REJECT love because of it.
You aren't alone. I understand. If you ever want to talk about it-- I'm a message away. Please don't hesitate. <3
As for this writing-- I would suggest putting a comma after "teeth," but other than that, I see no other grammatical fixes (I like to say 'fixes' because calling them 'errors' often makes the other person feel they failed or did something bad-- that's not the case; these things are always, simply an easy fix! There isn't anything more that should be implied.)
The meaning of this poem-- the content-- is POWERFUL. The metaphor is SPOT-ON. The artwork included is CAPTIVATING. YOU are MAGNIFICENT. If THIS isn't a 'Six Star Poem'-- I don't know what is! :)
~DestinyAwaitsDarling
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2023
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Lea!
Ohmygosh, do I feel this one in my SOUL! I too have one parent who is 'softer' than the other, and your poem HIT on EXACTLY how a child's, now-grown-up, psyche is forever altered by an abusive parent.
The sad truth is, despite how much we WISH that one parent's love could cancel out the abuse and contempt from the other-- trauma, especially consistent, childhood trauma, just isn't something that can be 'balanced out.' I wish that outsiders could understand that-- maybe then we survivors wouldn't hear so often, "just get over it."
I'm so sorry that you know the pain of never feeling safe-- even with people who haven't done anything to hurt you. I'm so sorry that you know what it's like to EXPECT abuse, and REJECT love because of it.
You aren't alone. I understand. If you ever want to talk about it-- I'm a message away. Please don't hesitate. <3
As for this writing-- I would suggest putting a comma after "teeth," but other than that, I see no other grammatical fixes (I like to say 'fixes' because calling them 'errors' often makes the other person feel they failed or did something bad-- that's not the case; these things are always, simply an easy fix! There isn't anything more that should be implied.)
The meaning of this poem-- the content-- is POWERFUL. The metaphor is SPOT-ON. The artwork included is CAPTIVATING. YOU are MAGNIFICENT. If THIS isn't a 'Six Star Poem'-- I don't know what is! :)
~DestinyAwaitsDarling
Comment Written 26-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2023
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Wow I'm like truly honored I totally am honored. I've got a big silly grin on my face and it's all cause you because there's someone like me up in the world I like to call.... Kindred spirits..... For your lovely and outstanding review I thank you very much. I am honored and appreciate all of your work have yourself an awesome evening. If not it'll be locked in one anyway chat to you soon thank you again!
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You are so welcome, Lea! I wholeheartedly agree with your conclusion that we are ?kindred spirits!? I am so so glad that I came across you! I hope you have an amazing day, today! 💜
Comment from royowen
What a fearsome piece of artwork, it really fits with the narrative you've chosen, it's difficult to make an impact with just a few words, but you've got the perfect match here, well done, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2023
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What a fearsome piece of artwork, it really fits with the narrative you've chosen, it's difficult to make an impact with just a few words, but you've got the perfect match here, well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 26-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2023
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Thank you bro I thank you so much for your review. Totally appreciate it as always your reviews are kind and thorough so I hope you have a fabulous day!!
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A pleasure Lea
Comment from karenina
Yikes. That's quite the image! Impactful one-line offering! (I interpreted it as the "victim" thinking the teeth were "tender" until the final CHOMP...
I know, I KNOW you enjoy leaving us your author's notes...
Imagine, though, if you were writing a book of poetry, would you be stopping after every poem and giving us your take?
Just a thought...
Karenina
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2023
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Yikes. That's quite the image! Impactful one-line offering! (I interpreted it as the "victim" thinking the teeth were "tender" until the final CHOMP...
I know, I KNOW you enjoy leaving us your author's notes...
Imagine, though, if you were writing a book of poetry, would you be stopping after every poem and giving us your take?
Just a thought...
Karenina
Comment Written 08-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2023
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No I probably wouldn't however I did have many queries on what tender teeth. Could mean thus the reason for my prompt? However there is merit to what you're saying and yeah you're right. I wouldn't sit back and write any notes on the side about it. That's for sure I'll be damned you're a smart lady!!
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Lea, I've been here since 2007. I used to write paragraphs about every post in my author's notes! It's a natural thing, to want to explain your work. Slowly you will learn, through reviews, that your words are doing all the heavy lifting...PLUS you allow the reader "room" to interpret as they need to.
There is no "right or wrong" way to do these things.
I just learned when I published two books that I had to remove my "training wheels" and let my poems speak for themselves!
(That was traumatic for a while!)
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That's really good advice and I take you seriously because you have hindsight on the issue. So I Did an edit on a couple of them and took away a large chunks of verbal dietribe I left behind. I absolutely respect what you're sayand believe every word. I appreciate your knowledge on this because i'm a green horn...lol....230 you must be East. I'm in white rock British Columbia
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Ah! 11:51! Heck, you can go another hour I bet! You're growing comfortable in your writer's skin...and that's the best blessing of all...
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Yeah i'm starting to think maybe there's something to to this l o l
I really appreciate all your words of encouragement and your tips and all your helpful hints really great. I hope sometime to return the favor to you as well!
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
This seems like a horror write Lea and this is a scary black panther, a metaphor for something we dread in life and we hope to overcome our fears, foo luck with the contest, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2023
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This seems like a horror write Lea and this is a scary black panther, a metaphor for something we dread in life and we hope to overcome our fears, foo luck with the contest, love Dolly x
Comment Written 25-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2023
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See I told you you were intuitive lol.... In my home growing up there was either severe punishment or catch you later, there was no in between. So my reference would be is my one parent quaint to handle it or is my other parent going to handle it. One is easier on punishment than the other therefore "tender teeth" comes to mind.... Thank you as always for knowing my mind like you do which is kind of interesting really
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I?m sorry to hear there was severe punishment for you at home, this is of course domestic abuse Lea. How very sad, love Dolly x
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It is OK Dolly. This was my life and it is in perspective in my mind and when I write I get to pour some of that out. I find it's a really great conduit when I'm feeling sad. Having said that I must say that 6 sense or psychic ability or sensitivity in this area Is born of 2 things a genetic predisposition or in the family as it were or born of trauma. In my case it is both it begins with hyper vigilance as a child and progresses from there as it did with me. I'm trying my hand at a non fiction short say that I know much about how to do that except to let the words fall out of my pen so to speak. I have something separate for you... The incident of my location I'm currently writing out that I wish to Send to you and you alone at some point I will incorporate it in my other scribblings but for now it will be for your eyes only. I will however in very short time post under the Contest called the gift it will speak of My experience and how I got to be who I am. Much of it is not pretty And I'll put a warning prior. I hope you don't mind if I send it to you alone at 1st the issue of bi-location for your thoughts. Thank you Dolly!
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I will be happy to receive whatever you send to me privately Lea and I shall be glad to read it, is this why you need my email address? Take care of yourself Lea x x x
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Thx Dolly np I'll send it thru here
Comment from Mintybee
Thank you for the author's notes, because I'd never heard the term tender teeth before, and was wondering if this was a poem about food. With the context, this is a tense poem, which seems to be the exactly tone you're going for.
Mintybee
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2023
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Thank you for the author's notes, because I'd never heard the term tender teeth before, and was wondering if this was a poem about food. With the context, this is a tense poem, which seems to be the exactly tone you're going for.
Mintybee
Comment Written 24-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2023
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Thank you so glad you liked it it's definitely different the term just came flying into my head when thinking about unparent to another dadefinitely an opposition going on there thank you again have a great day!