Heart Crafted Poems - 2023
Viewing comments for Chapter 19 "Elixir of Life"Musing of an old man
28 total reviews
Comment from Jesse James Doty
This is a well-done triolet and it talks about the rain and snow and all the water we are grateful for. I love the picture you chose for this piece. The triolet is perfectly written with all the ducks in a row. I want to thank you for reminding me how lovely the change of seasons is as the blooms start to rise and the temperatures rise to a comfortable degree.
Jesse
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2023
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This is a well-done triolet and it talks about the rain and snow and all the water we are grateful for. I love the picture you chose for this piece. The triolet is perfectly written with all the ducks in a row. I want to thank you for reminding me how lovely the change of seasons is as the blooms start to rise and the temperatures rise to a comfortable degree.
Jesse
Comment Written 20-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2023
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Hi Jesse thank you, sir!
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You're welcome, my friend!
Comment from patcelaw
This is a beautifully written and presented poem for the contest in the club. I wish you the best at everything that you do, and keep writing for us and sharing with us. Patricia.
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2023
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This is a beautifully written and presented poem for the contest in the club. I wish you the best at everything that you do, and keep writing for us and sharing with us. Patricia.
Comment Written 20-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2023
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Thanks Patricia.
Comment from Tom Horonzy
I think like Eliza, in My Fair Lady, she's got it, she being you in writing a triolet. Well done. And the drooping, dripping fushia picture compliments the poem.
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2023
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I think like Eliza, in My Fair Lady, she's got it, she being you in writing a triolet. Well done. And the drooping, dripping fushia picture compliments the poem.
Comment Written 20-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2023
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Tom, thanks a bunch!
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Nice artwork and presentation.
-You did a good job with the Triolet.
-A good topic, effective imagery,
rhyme and repeating lines.
-You create a good word picture of
the blooms bursting above the snow.
-I like this image:
"While warm rays seize the day, the sun aglow."
-The repeating lines work well in the poem, as well.
-Well done.
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2023
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-Nice artwork and presentation.
-You did a good job with the Triolet.
-A good topic, effective imagery,
rhyme and repeating lines.
-You create a good word picture of
the blooms bursting above the snow.
-I like this image:
"While warm rays seize the day, the sun aglow."
-The repeating lines work well in the poem, as well.
-Well done.
Comment Written 20-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2023
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Pam! Thanks?
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You are welcome, Jim.
Comment from Mintybee
I have not heard of a triolet before. I read your author's notes, and it looks like you did the repetition structure correctly, and the rhyme scheme is right. You have the perfect picture for your poem. Your poem has a few very nice phrases, "While warm rays seize the day" for instance. The poem flows well and the descriptions are creative and clear.
Mintybee
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2023
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I have not heard of a triolet before. I read your author's notes, and it looks like you did the repetition structure correctly, and the rhyme scheme is right. You have the perfect picture for your poem. Your poem has a few very nice phrases, "While warm rays seize the day" for instance. The poem flows well and the descriptions are creative and clear.
Mintybee
Comment Written 20-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2023
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Mintybee, thank you.
Comment from Ricky1024
"Elixir of Life" This is a Triolet which was well written rich in Theme and Imagery.
It also, read well and Flowed well with no Grammar Issues.
Thanks for sharing this and have a blessed day.
Doctor Ricky
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2023
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"Elixir of Life" This is a Triolet which was well written rich in Theme and Imagery.
It also, read well and Flowed well with no Grammar Issues.
Thanks for sharing this and have a blessed day.
Doctor Ricky
Comment Written 20-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2023
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Dr. Ricky, thanks a bunch.
Comment from Paul McFarland
That's an interesting form, Jim. You have used the repeating lines to good effect. You have made me anxious for spring. We have had warm weather lately, but snow is in the forecast.
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reply by the author on 20-Feb-2023
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That's an interesting form, Jim. You have used the repeating lines to good effect. You have made me anxious for spring. We have had warm weather lately, but snow is in the forecast.
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Comment Written 20-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2023
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Thanks very much Paul, yes I am a bit concerned with our expected 79 degrees in late February in the mountains of western NC? we could still hit a bad patch I early March.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
This is a magical write and just loved your well chosen words. Although metre is not strictly required for this form, you have written most lines in metre which has given it a unique rhythm. Just a couple of suggestions for these lines to give them the unique metre you have given the other lines:
(as wet elixir quenches (with) their thirst).
(Gray skies splash rains from yet another burst)
Love Dolly x
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reply by the author on 20-Feb-2023
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This is a magical write and just loved your well chosen words. Although metre is not strictly required for this form, you have written most lines in metre which has given it a unique rhythm. Just a couple of suggestions for these lines to give them the unique metre you have given the other lines:
(as wet elixir quenches (with) their thirst).
(Gray skies splash rains from yet another burst)
Love Dolly x
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 20-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2023
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Copious amounts of thank you?s! As always, I am grateful. Thank you, Jim
