Quick Reads
Viewing comments for Chapter 13 "Crazy Beautiful"A Flash Fiction Collection
15 total reviews
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
You write the most interesting characters. You turned the wronged woman all the way around and let us see a guy who had paid attention to her, but she knew nothing about him, except to destroy all he owned. Great writing in not many words.
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2023
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You write the most interesting characters. You turned the wronged woman all the way around and let us see a guy who had paid attention to her, but she knew nothing about him, except to destroy all he owned. Great writing in not many words.
Comment Written 09-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2023
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Thank you very much, Carol. Much appreciated.
Comment from Thesis
Your story kept my interest, quickly described the scene, and took me in a direction I didn't foresee. The fact that Jake had hidden cameras is also interesting. Apparently there is a lot going on in that room.
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2023
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Your story kept my interest, quickly described the scene, and took me in a direction I didn't foresee. The fact that Jake had hidden cameras is also interesting. Apparently there is a lot going on in that room.
Comment Written 07-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2023
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Thank you very much.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
This is an example of why I believe people shouldn't rush into sex. Thank you for sharing this post with us. I enjoyed reading.
Men like you, deserve to rot in Hell. (I doubt you need the comma in this sentence. I've read it a few times and don't pause.)
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2023
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This is an example of why I believe people shouldn't rush into sex. Thank you for sharing this post with us. I enjoyed reading.
Men like you, deserve to rot in Hell. (I doubt you need the comma in this sentence. I've read it a few times and don't pause.)
Comment Written 07-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2023
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Thank you very much.
Comment from Jesse James Doty
Yep! This kept me on the edge of my seat! I was really into this story from beginning to end and when it was over it left me wondering who was the real culprit was it her or was it him or was it both of them caught in an online dating scandal? I love the intrigue and the dynamics of the story. I also love the mysterious ending which left us wondering what was going on.
Well done and well thought out!
Jesse
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2023
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Yep! This kept me on the edge of my seat! I was really into this story from beginning to end and when it was over it left me wondering who was the real culprit was it her or was it him or was it both of them caught in an online dating scandal? I love the intrigue and the dynamics of the story. I also love the mysterious ending which left us wondering what was going on.
Well done and well thought out!
Jesse
Comment Written 07-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2023
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Thank you very much.
Comment from lyenochka
Lol. Well, you certainly had my emotions going back and forth on this one. I remember your script about that other couple where the woman had all that baggage. This one is even more crazy. Jake was smart to have the whole thing videotaped.
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2023
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Lol. Well, you certainly had my emotions going back and forth on this one. I remember your script about that other couple where the woman had all that baggage. This one is even more crazy. Jake was smart to have the whole thing videotaped.
Comment Written 07-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2023
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Thank you very much.
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Nice story. Nice twist at the end. But will Jake show the part of the video where he punched an unarmed woman?
If I was Karen, I'm pretty sure I would have shot Jake dead when he closed his eyes again.
"Karen's lips quivered, seemingly fighting back a smile, as a single tear fell from her right eye". - The comma after 'smile' isn't needed.
"You rushed home without thinking just like I planned." - I'd put that comma right after 'thinking'. (Better than throwin' it away!)
"I paid attention to you talked until three" - (when) you talked?
Bets wishes.
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Nice story. Nice twist at the end. But will Jake show the part of the video where he punched an unarmed woman?
If I was Karen, I'm pretty sure I would have shot Jake dead when he closed his eyes again.
"Karen's lips quivered, seemingly fighting back a smile, as a single tear fell from her right eye". - The comma after 'smile' isn't needed.
"You rushed home without thinking just like I planned." - I'd put that comma right after 'thinking'. (Better than throwin' it away!)
"I paid attention to you talked until three" - (when) you talked?
Bets wishes.
Comment Written 06-Mar-2023
Comment from Spitfire
The rating is because of the unexpected ending. I chuckled big time. Jake is the master of insults. If you ask me, they are both psychopaths and deserve each other.
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The rating is because of the unexpected ending. I chuckled big time. Jake is the master of insults. If you ask me, they are both psychopaths and deserve each other.
Comment Written 06-Mar-2023
Comment from Jim Wile
Ah, yes. Online dating. The stories I've heard about it are certainly closer to yours than the other way around, with one exception: my daughter who met her boyfriend online and is still with him 3 years later.
Great story with growing suspense as the full tale of woe comes out in the end. Frightening to have a scorned nut with a gun in her hand!
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Ah, yes. Online dating. The stories I've heard about it are certainly closer to yours than the other way around, with one exception: my daughter who met her boyfriend online and is still with him 3 years later.
Great story with growing suspense as the full tale of woe comes out in the end. Frightening to have a scorned nut with a gun in her hand!
Comment Written 06-Mar-2023
Comment from Jasmine Girl
This is scary but it could happen. Online dating could be this scary. My friend found and married a doctor when she was widowed at 64. What a lucky lady.
Excellent.
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This is scary but it could happen. Online dating could be this scary. My friend found and married a doctor when she was widowed at 64. What a lucky lady.
Excellent.
Comment Written 06-Mar-2023
Comment from Shirley McLain
A great story, and you did a wonderful job. I really liked the twist at the end about the online dating. You never know what you're going to get either online or face to face. Enjoy your afternoon. Shirley
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A great story, and you did a wonderful job. I really liked the twist at the end about the online dating. You never know what you're going to get either online or face to face. Enjoy your afternoon. Shirley
Comment Written 06-Mar-2023