Daydreams from the Ashes
Viewing comments for Chapter 27 "A Solitary Daydream"Poems and meditations
7 total reviews
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
This is a thoughtful meditative write full of self expression and contemplation and I enjoyed your thought process and delivery of these words here. Sometimes we have difficulty with direction and need to give it careful thought before moving forward, a fine personal write, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2023
  |
This is a thoughtful meditative write full of self expression and contemplation and I enjoyed your thought process and delivery of these words here. Sometimes we have difficulty with direction and need to give it careful thought before moving forward, a fine personal write, love Dolly x
Comment Written 19-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2023
-
Thank you very much for reading and reviewing! I?m glad the thought process was enjoyable. I?ve been doing a lot of thinking and sometimes I worry it comes out a jumbled mess. I really appreciate your time and I hope you have a wonderful day!
Comment from JT traveller
A fine and compelling piece of writing. Your words, while solemn, had a distinct flow and gentleness to them. Sending a message that you will weather the storms and rebuild yourself.
Very cleverly composed poem.
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2023
|
A fine and compelling piece of writing. Your words, while solemn, had a distinct flow and gentleness to them. Sending a message that you will weather the storms and rebuild yourself.
Very cleverly composed poem.
Comment Written 18-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2023
-
Thank you very much for reading and reviewing! I?ve been giving the regrowing thing a lot of thought lately, so I?m happy it translated into something coherent. Thank you for your time and I hope you have a wonderful day.
-
My pleasure. I wish you a wonderful day too. Jacqueline 😊
Comment from royowen
Ah yes water, the source and sustainer of life. But in a world that seems to be slipping from any sense of reality and hope, it is a constant. This is beautifully written my friend, I love it. Even fire cleans up the natural things and also sustains regrowth. Well done, blessings My friend, Roy
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2023
|
Ah yes water, the source and sustainer of life. But in a world that seems to be slipping from any sense of reality and hope, it is a constant. This is beautifully written my friend, I love it. Even fire cleans up the natural things and also sustains regrowth. Well done, blessings My friend, Roy
Comment Written 18-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2023
-
Thank you very much for reading and reviewing. I thought water and regrowth after fire made the most sense for the way I feel, so I?m glad they came across well. I appreciate your time and I hope you have a wonderful day.
-
Yes you?re right
Comment from dellsworthpoet
An interesting poem. The metaphor of a slow-growing tree is apt. The flow is good. The images are clear. The argument of the piece is well presented.
Suggestion:
"but I am the uncurling root and leaf"
Actually, the pine has needles, not leaves and uncurling sounds more like a fern. I might consider unfurling which is more opening.
Thanks for a good read.
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2023
|
An interesting poem. The metaphor of a slow-growing tree is apt. The flow is good. The images are clear. The argument of the piece is well presented.
Suggestion:
"but I am the uncurling root and leaf"
Actually, the pine has needles, not leaves and uncurling sounds more like a fern. I might consider unfurling which is more opening.
Thanks for a good read.
Comment Written 18-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2023
-
Thanks for reading and reviewing. I appreciate the advice. I did change it to needle, but had it as leaf because they don?t really look like needles when the pine seed is first germinating, which is about how I feel right now. It seems clearer now, so hopefully we?re good. Thank you for your time and suggestions. I hope you have a wonderful day!
-
We are good regardless of editing. My suggestions are only that and to be taken at face value. You are most welcome.
Comment from patcelaw
This seems like it would be a very good poem. If only I could really understand it. My problem is that you use so little punctuation that it is hard to follow along as the computer is reading this to me since my vision is so limited. I would like to see you go back and possibly use some commas and periods. You might want to read it aloud yourself and see where you need to put in punctuation. This is just a suggestion. Patricia.
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2023
|
This seems like it would be a very good poem. If only I could really understand it. My problem is that you use so little punctuation that it is hard to follow along as the computer is reading this to me since my vision is so limited. I would like to see you go back and possibly use some commas and periods. You might want to read it aloud yourself and see where you need to put in punctuation. This is just a suggestion. Patricia.
Comment Written 18-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2023
-
I went through and cleaned it up, particularly the end. Thank you for the suggestions, I really appreciate them and I hope you have a wonderful day. Thank you for the read and review!
-
I went back and looked at it and listen to it again the addition of the punctuation marks that help a great deal and it reads more smoothly now
Comment from Lea Tonin1
That is a very poinent read! I mentioned this to another author. This, i think, is an extremely healthy way you choose to express yourself. Every time you do it peals the onion and takes some of the power away. I sense you have a struggle within you judging by the words you've chosen. you're trying to move in the direction of your choice.
The sameness of day to day verses the inner onslaught is quite the challenge to say the least!
Thank you for sharing this work of art with us!
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2023
|
That is a very poinent read! I mentioned this to another author. This, i think, is an extremely healthy way you choose to express yourself. Every time you do it peals the onion and takes some of the power away. I sense you have a struggle within you judging by the words you've chosen. you're trying to move in the direction of your choice.
The sameness of day to day verses the inner onslaught is quite the challenge to say the least!
Thank you for sharing this work of art with us!
Comment Written 16-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2023
-
Thank you very much for reading and reviewing! It's one of the healthiest coping skills I have, so I've been leaning on it a lot during the turmoil. I really appreciate your time and attention. I hope you have a wonderful day.
-
Thank you and you too I hope it's a great 1!
-
Very healthy and speaks of very same mind Is f****** definitely on the right track you are an example for the rest Of us thank you very much!
Comment from jacquelyn popp
Excellent poem, and very touching to read, by the words that you used, and the way it was written. Your poem flowed smoothly with no grammar mistakes, making it very easy and enjoyable to read. I especially loved the artwork that went with your poem. Beautifully written, and beautiful choice of your artwork. I especially loved the last line of your poem, just my love can be a droplet of water. That line really stood out to me. Thank you very much for sharing.
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2023
|
Excellent poem, and very touching to read, by the words that you used, and the way it was written. Your poem flowed smoothly with no grammar mistakes, making it very easy and enjoyable to read. I especially loved the artwork that went with your poem. Beautifully written, and beautiful choice of your artwork. I especially loved the last line of your poem, just my love can be a droplet of water. That line really stood out to me. Thank you very much for sharing.
Comment Written 16-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2023
-
Thank you very much for reading and reviewing. I really appreciate the thoughtfulness in your reply and I'm glad it made sense. I am grateful for your time and I hope you have a wonderful day.