Heaven's Stair
Our Moon3 total reviews
Comment from Bill Schott
This poem, Heaven's Stair, is an interesting description of the moon from the point of view of Earth. It is very readable, but has a few spelling and grammar errors.
I found this:
In (our) sights it never looms
It lives in (shadow's) gloom
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Opens slow until (it's) grown
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And clear (skies) let
(It's) silver sheen, a living dream
Gives us an (eerie) light
---------
Hides in the (Sun's) daytime light
-----------
Happy day.
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2023
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This poem, Heaven's Stair, is an interesting description of the moon from the point of view of Earth. It is very readable, but has a few spelling and grammar errors.
I found this:
In (our) sights it never looms
It lives in (shadow's) gloom
------------
Opens slow until (it's) grown
----------
And clear (skies) let
(It's) silver sheen, a living dream
Gives us an (eerie) light
---------
Hides in the (Sun's) daytime light
-----------
Happy day.
Comment Written 16-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2023
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TY.... this was hot off the press and I hadn't given it the scrutiny it deserved. All of your helpful advice was taking to heart and applied... TY
Comment from patcelaw
It is my understanding that the moon will be the stepping stone for a man's adventure, to the next realm of going to one of the outer planets. I enjoy seeing a full moon very much, and I also enjoy when the moon is just a sliver of a moon that we see. Enjoy the poem. Patricia.
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2023
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It is my understanding that the moon will be the stepping stone for a man's adventure, to the next realm of going to one of the outer planets. I enjoy seeing a full moon very much, and I also enjoy when the moon is just a sliver of a moon that we see. Enjoy the poem. Patricia.
Comment Written 16-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2023
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TY... I had some grammar issues... fixed them
Comment from Eleri
This is a lovely poem about the moon that conjures up some beautiful images - well done. However, you have made a number of spelling mistakes in it, which I think need correcting if people are to understand the full impact of what you are trying to say. For example, in the first stanza 'ours' should be 'our'. In the third stanza 'it silver sheen' should really be 'its silver sheen', while in the fourth stanza 'Suns' should be 'Sun's' unless you are talking about more than one sun. These are, however, only minor points as I do like your poem and I feel that it reads well.
Eleri
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2023
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This is a lovely poem about the moon that conjures up some beautiful images - well done. However, you have made a number of spelling mistakes in it, which I think need correcting if people are to understand the full impact of what you are trying to say. For example, in the first stanza 'ours' should be 'our'. In the third stanza 'it silver sheen' should really be 'its silver sheen', while in the fourth stanza 'Suns' should be 'Sun's' unless you are talking about more than one sun. These are, however, only minor points as I do like your poem and I feel that it reads well.
Eleri
Comment Written 16-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2023
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Grammar was never my strong point.... and this was hot off the press, so it was a bit sloppy... I corrected
TY
