Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill

Excellent

v2cents.2cents.2cents.2cents.2cents.2cents.2cents.2cents.2cents.2cents.2cents.2cents.2cents.2cents.2cents.2cents.2cents.2cents.2cents.2cents.2cents.2cents.2cents.2cents.2cents.2cents.2cents.2cents.2cents.2cents.2cents.2cents.2cents.2cents.2cents.2cents.2cents.2cents.2cents.2cents.2cents.2cents.2cents.2cents.2cents.2cents.2cents.2cents.2cents.2cents.2cents.2cents.2cents.2cents.2cents.2cents.2cents.2cents.2cents.2cents.2cents.2cents.2cents.2cents.2cents.2cents.2cents.2cents.2cents.2cents. KIaren

 Comment Written 11-Sep-2023

---

reply by the author on 13-Sep-2023

Thank you, Karen ! Sal :))

Comment from mrsmajor

Exceptional

Hi, Sally,
Although I didn't read the entire story, mainly because I'm not much a story reviewer, but the part I did read was of terrific value to me...I learned a lot more about punctuation, in story writing, and I'm sure that will help me if in the future.
I have a story I been writing and rewriting for a while...and I have to thank you for the help, you didn't even know you gave me...
Thanks for sharing...Hugs!

Warmly,
Victoria

 Comment Written 05-Mar-2023

---

reply by the author on 07-Mar-2023

Dear Victoria, thank you so much for the lovely review and generous six star rating! Wow! I'm so honored and blessed. How sweet of you to come by and read it from the book of the month contest. I'm glad you thought it well written and helpful for your own book. I am blessed.
Sending you my best today as always,
Sal XOs

reply by mrsmajor on 08-Mar-2023

You're so welcome, Sally, it
was my pleasure...Hugs!

Comment from Gloria ....

Exceptional

I really enjoyed your Quixote quote. Very apt indeed.

Strong opening as well, as that is concrete imagery easy to imagine.

I also enjoyed the addition of humour in the second description along with a smoke on the porch.

Excellent dialogue revealing inner character or lack thereof.

Ah and now it gets interesting now that an angel has brought Simon.

Always a great read from your quill, Sally. :))

Gloria

 Comment Written 25-Feb-2023

---

reply by the author on 27-Feb-2023

Dear Gloria, thank you for the wonderful review and generous six star rating. It?s so appreciated. So glad you enjoyed this chapter and thought it six star worthy. Blessings to you always, Sal XOs

Comment from Pearl Edwards

Excellent

A beautifully poignant scene of prayer to start off this chapter Sally. A quick trip for Simon to the good side and to reveal the evil of Fee.
Another good read, Sally,
cheers,
valda

 Comment Written 24-Feb-2023

---

reply by the author on 24-Feb-2023

Thank you so much for the lovely review of my book chapter, dear Valda. It is so appreciated and needed. I?m so glad you?re enjoying my book. Sending along my very best to you and yours as always, Sally XOs

Comment from Cindy Warren

Excellent

I'm sure Simon has a lot to say, and the detective will want to hear it. I feel kind of sorry for him, he escaped getting shot twice in one night, first by Fee and then by Betty Jo. If I were Betty Jo I might have shot him, showing up in the dark dressed like that.

 Comment Written 22-Feb-2023

---

reply by the author on 24-Feb-2023

Thank you so much for the wonderful review of my book chapter. I appreciate your insights too. Sending along my very best to you and yours, Sally XOs

Comment from eliz100

Excellent

I believe I dropped in after the story started. I like what I have read so far. I do not see any room for improvement. I like stories about the struggle between good and evil. Have a blessed day.

 Comment Written 22-Feb-2023

---

reply by the author on 24-Feb-2023

Thank you so much for the wonderful review of my book chapter, dear Liz. It?s so needed and appreciated. So glad to have you along in this. Sending along my very best to you and yours as always,
Sal XOs

Comment from poetwatch

Excellent

And the list keeps piling up against the evil Fee, Sally. I don't know if we will have a trial or a shoot-the-bad-guy day. I prefer the second obtion. That aura of light following Tommy is a good sign. Thank you for sharing.

 Comment Written 22-Feb-2023

---

reply by the author on 22-Feb-2023

Thank you so much for the wonderful review of my book chapter. I?m so glad you?re enjoying it all. Sending along with very best today as always, Sal :))

Comment from Liz O'Neill

Excellent

Many readers will be able to identify. A great image: "I felt like I had just found you, Tommy, only to lose you again, then again!" My cat, Sammy who we will soon read about in Bea 3, comes to get me when it is time for bed. They have a better inner clock than we do. You've got the reader's attention: " She was last seen going into the hospital and she never came out." A nice twist: "No!" said the angel's voice." Is this a foreshadowing? " What came next was worrisome." Is this a little tongue-in-cheek humor? "Well... we get a lot of that around here." The reader will return.

 Comment Written 22-Feb-2023

---

reply by the author on 22-Feb-2023

Thank you so much for your kind review of my book chapter. I?m so glad you enjoyed it all. I do appreciate the specific comments. That always helps me so much. Sending along my very best to you all, Sal XOs

reply by Liz O'Neill on 22-Feb-2023

***Hugs***

Comment from Wendy G

Excellent

Tommy has a strong faith, and complete assurance that God had heard and accepted his prayer, and has peace about the outcome - a good lesson for us all. I am glad the Simon seems to have more integrity than his father who is even prepared to kill his own son to safeguard his own evil ways! Seems like Simon has reached a turningpoint in his life. Well written.
Wendy

 Comment Written 22-Feb-2023

---

reply by the author on 22-Feb-2023

Thank you so much for the wonderful review of my book chapter, dear Wendy. It is so appreciated and needed. Sending love my very best to you all down under. Sal XOs

Comment from Pam Lonsdale

Excellent

Love the opening paragraph - I can see it right along with you.

Paragraph that begins "I knelt in the quiet of the outdoor" - change "has" to "had" to keep it in past tense.

The balcony door creaked open (not opened)

You use symbols instead of the word "shit". It may be unpleasant to use, and it would require a language warning on your post, but using the word would be more appropriate here. Or use crap instead. Using symbols steals from the authority of this piece, I believe.

I love Betty Jo Jenkins - master markswoman capable of throwing together a deep-dish apple pie to wow everyone around!

Well, more help seems to be arriving with each chapter, and it seems Patience has things well in hand. I'm looking forward to a happy ending for all here. Good will triumph over evil!

 Comment Written 21-Feb-2023

---

reply by the author on 21-Feb-2023

Thank you for the excellent review and helpful critique. It is most appreciated. I adore Betty Jo Jenkins. She?s a delightful character modeled after a special friend in my life. Who doesn?t love pie? Just writing this made me want some. LOL!

I?ve had some blowback about being the clean writer on here, but there?s a reason why. My grandchildren are on here and read my posts. I keep it clean and rated G for them. My books and Audible books are also given free to the blind community and there are many young ones that follow me there. I want them to have something their parents don?t have to worry about. There?s enough bad influences in this wicked world.

So far, I have had a great following on FanStory and have honed my craft. This is my seventh novella series.

I drew a line and used an exclamation point instead of the $#@%! It looks better and leaves it open to interruption. I hope that?s okay.

Sending you my best today as always, dear Pam.
Sal XOs

reply by Pam Lonsdale on 21-Feb-2023

Sal, whatever you choose to do is okay. I was only giving you my opinion. This is YOUR story - no one else's. I support you regardless!