The Farewell
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "The Farewell IV"Last conversations with dad
4 total reviews
Comment from jmdg1954
I found these two scenes authentic and warm towards the dad.
Martha's dialogue is all in caps. Is that on purpose or is she shouting, being loud naturally?
Looking forward to the remaining children's visits.
John
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2023
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I found these two scenes authentic and warm towards the dad.
Martha's dialogue is all in caps. Is that on purpose or is she shouting, being loud naturally?
Looking forward to the remaining children's visits.
John
Comment Written 03-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2023
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All my scenes are in caps because of the additional use of words for direction of character. There is no shouting. Martha is loud for sure but not in these scenes. Thank you for your understanding and kind review. The scenes will come about every 3rd day. I have booked the initial 3. Thanks again.
Comment from lyenochka
Great job with this portion of the Farewell. There certainly is a lot of love in this family and genuine concern for their parents. I am impressed that the father could over look racial differences.
Comments:
I was surprised by your formatting. I know about centering the names and capitalizing but I didn't know that the text itself had to be capitalized. It feels like they are always shouting.
NOONE HEARD THAT. (NO ONE)
IT SUCKS TIM. (IT SUCKS, TIM)
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2023
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Great job with this portion of the Farewell. There certainly is a lot of love in this family and genuine concern for their parents. I am impressed that the father could over look racial differences.
Comments:
I was surprised by your formatting. I know about centering the names and capitalizing but I didn't know that the text itself had to be capitalized. It feels like they are always shouting.
NOONE HEARD THAT. (NO ONE)
IT SUCKS TIM. (IT SUCKS, TIM)
Comment Written 02-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2023
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I have come to realize that maybe I need to take out the shouting element. I wasn`t looking at it that way. Blind ignorance, I suppose.
Thanks again for your comments.
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I found this site helpful:
https://medium.com/@alli_unger/6-things-to-capitalize-in-your-screenplay-a445e0678aa3
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Thanks. I just went through and took the bold out of the conversation but for now kept the CAPS in play so as to keep all the side commentary from getting confused. I will continue to learn as I go. Appreciate the help.
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You're welcome! We're always learning new things!
Comment from Jay Squires
You certainly have an unconventional play formatting, Kaiku, but your Stage Direction is superb and your characters vivid. It seems obvious to me that this isn't your first play. Right? You seem so comfortable with the medium. I am curious why you capitalize all dialogue and leave all the directions in lowercase. Those are just initial distractions, though. Once the dialogue begins it takes off like gangbusters, and though it seemed long, I wish it were longer.
Jay
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2023
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You certainly have an unconventional play formatting, Kaiku, but your Stage Direction is superb and your characters vivid. It seems obvious to me that this isn't your first play. Right? You seem so comfortable with the medium. I am curious why you capitalize all dialogue and leave all the directions in lowercase. Those are just initial distractions, though. Once the dialogue begins it takes off like gangbusters, and though it seemed long, I wish it were longer.
Jay
Comment Written 02-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2023
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Thanks Jay. I guess I want to focus on the dialogue. Should I make it more conventional? I appreciate your voice.
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Personally, I would say, "yes". In my plays, I violate convention by emboldening the lower case font. I've had complaints about that, and it isn't correctly formatted. You do that PLUS put it in all caps. To me that equates to one helluva scream, regardless of how quietly you want your character to behave. Mainly, though, I just love your characterization and the movement of your action. Very UNstatic, as mine tend to be. (Meaning mine tend to be static.) Hope that makes sense.
Jay7
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I understand. I had a reviewer doc me for the `screaming` Maybe I will change to be more inline.
Comment from tempeste
Ciao!
Well that was a big surprise to read , I can imagine how shocked your father must have been.
She was good looking and strong willed Martha Jean.
I'm sure it wasn't a bed of roses for them in those days ... they wouldn't have been accepted on neither side.
Over the rainbow is a song that always made me cry, it's a song of hope, that the bad times will one day be over.
It's about being in a sad place and wanting to be somewhere better, where dreams come true,
where blue birds sing and where troubles melt like lemon drops.
You pulled at those heart strings again.
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2023
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Ciao!
Well that was a big surprise to read , I can imagine how shocked your father must have been.
She was good looking and strong willed Martha Jean.
I'm sure it wasn't a bed of roses for them in those days ... they wouldn't have been accepted on neither side.
Over the rainbow is a song that always made me cry, it's a song of hope, that the bad times will one day be over.
It's about being in a sad place and wanting to be somewhere better, where dreams come true,
where blue birds sing and where troubles melt like lemon drops.
You pulled at those heart strings again.
Comment Written 02-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2023
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Martha Jean was a ?Cat on a hot tin roof?
Glad you liked it. Just 5 more releases. Last one coming in St, Patrick?s Day. 😎
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I had to google st Patrick s day .. 17th March
Have you got Irish roots?
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I had to google st Patrick s day .. 17th March
Have you got Irish roots?
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sort of if only in spirit as my dad was an All-American in basketball at the University of Notre Dame. Seems appropriate that I end his Farewell on St. Patrick`s Day. BTW, I left a contest entry in the review mode and didn`t make the line-up for a vote. Reminded me of your story.
