Pay Day
Viewing comments for Chapter 9 "Pay Day, pt 9"One fine spring day at school
6 total reviews
Comment from Wendy G
Thankfully he came to his senses, and has had the courage to confess. May be a new start for the whole family. Now I am very much looking forward to seeing what happens in the lives of the other disillusioned kids. Well done!
Wendy
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2023
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Thankfully he came to his senses, and has had the courage to confess. May be a new start for the whole family. Now I am very much looking forward to seeing what happens in the lives of the other disillusioned kids. Well done!
Wendy
Comment Written 15-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2023
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Thank you for your very nice review.
Comment from lyenochka
Good followup on James. I really liked "He chose anger as depravity's voice." It's good he confessed to his uncle and that his uncle directed him to tell his father. Hopefully, they all find a church where they can find healing.
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2023
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Good followup on James. I really liked "He chose anger as depravity's voice." It's good he confessed to his uncle and that his uncle directed him to tell his father. Hopefully, they all find a church where they can find healing.
Comment Written 15-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2023
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Thank you for a very nice review.
Comment from royowen
I think the incredible thing is that we all have a revelation like that at some time. And the difference is that we may simply come out if a dark place, it's just James' dark place. Was a lot more lethal than others, who suffer alone, well done Wayne, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2023
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I think the incredible thing is that we all have a revelation like that at some time. And the difference is that we may simply come out if a dark place, it's just James' dark place. Was a lot more lethal than others, who suffer alone, well done Wayne, blessings Roy
Comment Written 15-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2023
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Thank you.
Yes, most people can probably just pull themselves up. But teenage minds are a mystery.
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Mine certainly was
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
This was 3-hankie good. Very emotional as a forgiving uncle holds his own emotions in careful control to help James see what he almost did and gets him help. One word needs changed: "I stole(d) your . ..
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2023
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This was 3-hankie good. Very emotional as a forgiving uncle holds his own emotions in careful control to help James see what he almost did and gets him help. One word needs changed: "I stole(d) your . ..
Comment Written 15-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2023
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Thank you for your great review.
'Stoled' was in teenager dialogue. All rules are off for them.
smiley face here
And thank you immensely for the six stars.
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
A very good accounting of James' emotions and thoughts. I would change out Marilyn Monroe for someone that the kids are dreaming of these days. I imagine most current high school boys have no idea what she even looks like.
In the midst of the three men sitting at the picnic table and talking you write, "The young couple quietly continued their hand in hand stroll . . ." Who? What?
I thought this was a good chapter, deals with one of the characters in a more intense and in-depth way. We'll see what happens with the others.
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2023
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A very good accounting of James' emotions and thoughts. I would change out Marilyn Monroe for someone that the kids are dreaming of these days. I imagine most current high school boys have no idea what she even looks like.
In the midst of the three men sitting at the picnic table and talking you write, "The young couple quietly continued their hand in hand stroll . . ." Who? What?
I thought this was a good chapter, deals with one of the characters in a more intense and in-depth way. We'll see what happens with the others.
Comment Written 15-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2023
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Marilyn - yes, I'm old.
My wife and I were the hand-in-hand couple at such a park setting, waiting out a rain when a small group arrived, and we left them to their privacy. I tried to inject them as a little Easter egg for her, as well as to reflect a little reality - story characters are not the only people on the planet.
Thank you for your kind review. I'll see if I can fix it.
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
This is a fine chapter to your saga except for one bit near the end that confused me
Dennis, his mouth agape, studied his brother across the table for explanation. Jim merely nodded toward James. "Go ahead, James, it's time to tell him. Don't hold anything back."
The young couple quietly continued their hand-in-hand stroll, somewhat more briskly than the first half of their hike.
First where did the name Jim come from? I thought he was Earl. Second who were the young couple?
kay
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2023
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This is a fine chapter to your saga except for one bit near the end that confused me
Dennis, his mouth agape, studied his brother across the table for explanation. Jim merely nodded toward James. "Go ahead, James, it's time to tell him. Don't hold anything back."
The young couple quietly continued their hand-in-hand stroll, somewhat more briskly than the first half of their hike.
First where did the name Jim come from? I thought he was Earl. Second who were the young couple?
kay
Comment Written 15-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2023
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Grrr. I don't know what happened. I had no idea there was a Jim anywhere. I'll go and fix it now. Thank you!
