A Poetic Pause
Viewing comments for Chapter 12 "Schematics End"First Poems
28 total reviews
Comment from Sandra Nelms-Ludwig
This is a powerful entry into the 6-word contest. The text is a great size. The message is focused, sharp and truthful. I like your title and your text. Both are well-conceived.
One suggestion: Center your text under the visual. Then make your spacing of text more balanced in the poem box by dropping the text down one space from the visual. The visual is great. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2023
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This is a powerful entry into the 6-word contest. The text is a great size. The message is focused, sharp and truthful. I like your title and your text. Both are well-conceived.
One suggestion: Center your text under the visual. Then make your spacing of text more balanced in the poem box by dropping the text down one space from the visual. The visual is great. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 09-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2023
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Thank you so much Sandra. I really appreciate you taking the time to review this poem and for the writing you gave very generous, I thank you! I have a quick select right away and implement your suggestion. Thank you so much again for your comments and for taking the time have a great night!
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My pleasure! You are welcome. It was a good read.
Comment from dragonpoet
Hi Lea,
You have to think about this poem and read the notes. Yes, if we all ate our mates then the world would end a lot sooner and it would bring a quick lowering of population.
Good luck in the contest.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Joan
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2023
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Hi Lea,
You have to think about this poem and read the notes. Yes, if we all ate our mates then the world would end a lot sooner and it would bring a quick lowering of population.
Good luck in the contest.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Joan
Comment Written 08-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2023
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Thank you Joan! I'm so glad you like it I appreciate you stop it you have to read and ID over your thoughts. It's always appreciated hope you have a great day!
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My pleasure, Lea.
Same to you.
Joan
Comment from strandregs
The idea is great.
I see a picture of people , lots of people in the shape of a scorpion on fire snapping the world with their tail snapper.
Sadly we are on the same page. :-))Z.
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2023
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The idea is great.
I see a picture of people , lots of people in the shape of a scorpion on fire snapping the world with their tail snapper.
Sadly we are on the same page. :-))Z.
Comment Written 08-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2023
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Thank you so much for your review. I really appreciate it. I feel very inside too always refreshing. Thank you again for taking the time to read it and off your thoughts. I hope you had a great day!
Comment from jessizero
I like that you compared people as a species to the black widow. It was very clever, and you expressed your point in just six words. Thank you for sharing, and best wishes to you.
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2023
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I like that you compared people as a species to the black widow. It was very clever, and you expressed your point in just six words. Thank you for sharing, and best wishes to you.
Comment Written 08-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2023
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Thank you so much for taking the time to review my phone. I really appreciate it for the rating always welcome. Of course and thank you again and I hope you really have a great day
Comment from karenina
I appreciate it when six words can keep me riveted and cause me to ponder the deeper complexity therein.
At first, I was thrown off by the title "Schematics" which seemed to mean a diagram or plan...
I then jumped down the Google rabbit hole (as I often do!) and found the root word "Schema" which is Greek and means (according to Merriam Webster):
"a mental codification of experience that includes a particular organized way of perceiving cognitively and responding to a complex situation or set of stimuli"
Bingo.
Now I'm all in!
How poorly the human race is responding to the "complex situation" of climate change!
Welcome to FanStory and thanks for a profound six-word poem.
Your author's notes helped...but I felt the theme well before I read your affirmation of what you intended!
Your artwork?
Amazing!
Karenina
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2023
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I appreciate it when six words can keep me riveted and cause me to ponder the deeper complexity therein.
At first, I was thrown off by the title "Schematics" which seemed to mean a diagram or plan...
I then jumped down the Google rabbit hole (as I often do!) and found the root word "Schema" which is Greek and means (according to Merriam Webster):
"a mental codification of experience that includes a particular organized way of perceiving cognitively and responding to a complex situation or set of stimuli"
Bingo.
Now I'm all in!
How poorly the human race is responding to the "complex situation" of climate change!
Welcome to FanStory and thanks for a profound six-word poem.
Your author's notes helped...but I felt the theme well before I read your affirmation of what you intended!
Your artwork?
Amazing!
Karenina
Comment Written 08-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2023
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Thank you for your very thorough and wonderful if you appreciate it and yes they're all my artwork as well.
I would really appreciate your insightful and thought for review thank you so much! And thank you also for the welcome. I was also very much appreciated though I hope you have a great and wonderful day!
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So glad you are here among us!
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Ty!😊
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You bet! I'll be back for more!
Comment from Kaiku
my 6 word review, "Young, beautiful and very, very dark." Actually, I often try to provide something engaging in my reviews and this is what I came up with. I like your stuff.
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2023
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my 6 word review, "Young, beautiful and very, very dark." Actually, I often try to provide something engaging in my reviews and this is what I came up with. I like your stuff.
Comment Written 08-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2023
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Thank you so much I'm glad you like. It is definitely prevalent on my mind all the things going on in the world around us. I am definitely privilege and honor to have your reviews because you are an amazing writer!
Thank you again!
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smile
Comment from jacquelyn popp
Good poem. Very well presented. Your message is compelling. The metaphor that you use gives it impact. Good artwork that you used to go well with your poem. Very well written. You say so much in just a few short words. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2023
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Good poem. Very well presented. Your message is compelling. The metaphor that you use gives it impact. Good artwork that you used to go well with your poem. Very well written. You say so much in just a few short words. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 07-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2023
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Thank you so much I'm glad you liked it and thank you for taking the time to review and offer your thought. It's very much appreciated and I hope you're having a great!
Comment from Father Flaps
Hi Lea,
First of all, welcome to Fanstory! I hope you enjoy it here as much as I have over the past (almost) 13 years. My advice is to write for the joy it brings you and others. Don't chase the rankings. They don't really mean that much. Basically, they show how busy we are.
Second, it's so nice to meet a fellow Canadian, on the opposite end of the country. The only other person I know in British Columbia is Shari Ulrich, a talented singer/songwriter who lives on Bowen Island.
Now for your entry in the 6-Word Poetry contest. It's true that many people don't respect the earth, our amazing planet in this solar system. It might be the only such planet in the Milky Way galaxy. But I'm doubting it. I think there are aliens visiting us regularly. But you're right. The earth is doomed if we don't start taking care of it. Unfortunately, there are those who only think of wealth, even at a terrible cost. We'll be okay, but what about our grandchildren?
I'm betting you are the artist here, too. You're a talented girl! At first glance, I was thinking Little Red Riding Hood. But then I saw the sword or stick, whatever she is carrying as a weapon. The trees look dead. There are no leaves. They stand as markers of what once was. Tombstones. I think you are this painting is of you, standing against what greedy little mongers have done to the planet. You will fight to save the earth. We need more people like you.
Do you know the actress who played in the 1989 Christmas movie, "Prancer"... Rebecca Harrell? She is doing what she can to save the earth. She's 43 years old now, married to Josh Tickell, and mother of a son and daughter. She's an award-winning filmmaker, author, and environmental activist.
Good Luck in the contest!
Hugs,
Kimbob
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2023
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Hi Lea,
First of all, welcome to Fanstory! I hope you enjoy it here as much as I have over the past (almost) 13 years. My advice is to write for the joy it brings you and others. Don't chase the rankings. They don't really mean that much. Basically, they show how busy we are.
Second, it's so nice to meet a fellow Canadian, on the opposite end of the country. The only other person I know in British Columbia is Shari Ulrich, a talented singer/songwriter who lives on Bowen Island.
Now for your entry in the 6-Word Poetry contest. It's true that many people don't respect the earth, our amazing planet in this solar system. It might be the only such planet in the Milky Way galaxy. But I'm doubting it. I think there are aliens visiting us regularly. But you're right. The earth is doomed if we don't start taking care of it. Unfortunately, there are those who only think of wealth, even at a terrible cost. We'll be okay, but what about our grandchildren?
I'm betting you are the artist here, too. You're a talented girl! At first glance, I was thinking Little Red Riding Hood. But then I saw the sword or stick, whatever she is carrying as a weapon. The trees look dead. There are no leaves. They stand as markers of what once was. Tombstones. I think you are this painting is of you, standing against what greedy little mongers have done to the planet. You will fight to save the earth. We need more people like you.
Do you know the actress who played in the 1989 Christmas movie, "Prancer"... Rebecca Harrell? She is doing what she can to save the earth. She's 43 years old now, married to Josh Tickell, and mother of a son and daughter. She's an award-winning filmmaker, author, and environmental activist.
Good Luck in the contest!
Hugs,
Kimbob
Comment Written 07-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2023
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Thank you so much for your welcome and for your kind words and for your insight. I am honored that you took the time to write this and review my poem. I thank you for this! You are right. This is In fact about the earth and about and every time I write something it takes the power away. I lived on Holand my aunt Lenore lived there on hood point. She's a writer gorgeous there beautiful place to live. Once again thank you for your kind words and for taking the time to write this to me. I thank you and I am appreciative. It is good to meet you and I hope you have a wonderful fabulous day talk again soon!
Comment from Nicki Nance
This is a skillfully crafted cautionary tale for all, but the presentation makes it personal. Your message is compelling. Your metaphor gives it impact. Your choice of the six words is very effective.
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2023
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This is a skillfully crafted cautionary tale for all, but the presentation makes it personal. Your message is compelling. Your metaphor gives it impact. Your choice of the six words is very effective.
Comment Written 07-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2023
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Thank you Nicki I really appreciate your kind words and for your review! For taking the time to do so i'm also thankful and hope you have a great day!
Comment from Jane Jane King
This is very eye popping and thought provoking, but I didn't understand the intended message until you explained it. Interesting read nonetheless less.
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2023
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This is very eye popping and thought provoking, but I didn't understand the intended message until you explained it. Interesting read nonetheless less.
Comment Written 07-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2023
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Thank you Jane for your review much appreciate your time if you're looking it over and for your comments as well if there's something I should improve I would. Surely love to hear about it thank you so much have a great night!
