Thomas
Unrequited love. There are various ways it can end.8 total reviews
Comment from Tom Horonzy
Hey. I remember those days, and as to his cry, was it one of joy? For finally being recognized. I would have taken that as a win.
It is better to be noticed than totally neglected. At least, her action was warranted, and you, if Thomas, like I am, was the cause. :-0
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2023
  |
Hey. I remember those days, and as to his cry, was it one of joy? For finally being recognized. I would have taken that as a win.
It is better to be noticed than totally neglected. At least, her action was warranted, and you, if Thomas, like I am, was the cause. :-0
Comment Written 10-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2023
-
Ha Ha. Like your view on his rejection. Yes being noticed is certainly a plus over total neglect. Thanks for the review .d It was but one look at the topic of love.
Have a great day.
Regards
Barry Penfold
Comment from harmony13
I found the author's word descriptive and creative. I pondered on the theme of this poem. The author's words are detailed, interesting and
clear. The artwork is awesome and helped me to understand the theme of the poem. I also liked the words stated above the title. They define
the meaning of this poem well.
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2023
|
I found the author's word descriptive and creative. I pondered on the theme of this poem. The author's words are detailed, interesting and
clear. The artwork is awesome and helped me to understand the theme of the poem. I also liked the words stated above the title. They define
the meaning of this poem well.
Comment Written 14-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2023
-
Thanks for your review. I amglad you liked it. It was just an attempt to keep things a bit light hearted.
Take care and have a great day.
Cheers
Barry Penfold.
Comment from jessizero
This poem about love was fun and sweet, though it didn't end well for Thomas.
Just one note:
I think you are missing an extra "u" in "troubadour"
Thank you for sharing, and best wishes to you.
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2023
|
This poem about love was fun and sweet, though it didn't end well for Thomas.
Just one note:
I think you are missing an extra "u" in "troubadour"
Thank you for sharing, and best wishes to you.
Comment Written 14-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2023
-
You are correct about "troubadour". Thanks for that. Glad you liked the poem. A bit of fun. You have a good day . Take care.
Regards
Barry Penfold.
Comment from Eleri
This is an amusing little poem about unrequited love - poor Thomas. The rhyming is good throughout The rhythm is good too apart from the fact that the first lines of the second and last stanza seem a bit too long to me - these lines make the poem read a bit choppy when all of the others lines flow well.
Having said that, I do like this poem as it is a change from the usual type of love poem. Good luck in the competition
Eleri
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2023
|
This is an amusing little poem about unrequited love - poor Thomas. The rhyming is good throughout The rhythm is good too apart from the fact that the first lines of the second and last stanza seem a bit too long to me - these lines make the poem read a bit choppy when all of the others lines flow well.
Having said that, I do like this poem as it is a change from the usual type of love poem. Good luck in the competition
Eleri
Comment Written 14-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2023
-
Eleri,
Thanks for taking time to read and review my poem. Thanks also for your observations. I will consider them.Glad you did enjoy the poem and yes it is a little bit different.
Please take care and have a good day.
Cheers
Barry Penfold.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Oh dead, she threw a bucket of water over him? Poor chap, even if he didn't sing too well, he didn't deserve that! You made me smile Barry, a fun write, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2023
|
Oh dead, she threw a bucket of water over him? Poor chap, even if he didn't sing too well, he didn't deserve that! You made me smile Barry, a fun write, love Dolly x
Comment Written 13-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2023
-
Dolly, ha ha , maybe he didn't deserve it, but unfortunately I think it might have been his lack of singing ability, that was his undoing.
Take care and thanks for the review.
Regards
Barry Penfold
Comment from Rebecca Roberts1
This is so funny. I had to read it several times because I kept getting the impression that Thomas was a tomcat.
Is he?
Nice rhythm and flow.
Good job.
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2023
|
This is so funny. I had to read it several times because I kept getting the impression that Thomas was a tomcat.
Is he?
Nice rhythm and flow.
Good job.
Comment Written 13-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2023
-
Rebecca,
Thanks for taking the time to read and review my poem. Glad you enjoyed it. Take care and have a great day. All the best with your writing.
Barry Penfold.
Comment from kahpot
This is an interesting poem, I can imagine the boy singing below the window, wanting to prove his love, and then bang he gets the cold treatment, an excellent read, best wishes for your contest****kahpot
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2023
|
This is an interesting poem, I can imagine the boy singing below the window, wanting to prove his love, and then bang he gets the cold treatment, an excellent read, best wishes for your contest****kahpot
Comment Written 13-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2023
-
Thanks for taking the timeto review my contest entry. A little different but lets see how it goes. Yes, the cold treatment indeed.
Take care and have a wonderful day.
Cheers
Barry Penfold.
Comment from Paul McFarland
This is a unique love poem, Barry. Good luck in the contest.
I think you could be right
About his singing voice,
Or song he sang just might
Have been a lousy choice.
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2023
|
This is a unique love poem, Barry. Good luck in the contest.
I think you could be right
About his singing voice,
Or song he sang just might
Have been a lousy choice.
Comment Written 13-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2023
-
Paul,
Thanks once again for taking the time to read and review my contest entry. Lol , yes the choice of song could have been the wrong one. Obviously, his adored was not so fussed about his approach.
Have a great day and take care.
Cheers
Barry Penfold.
