A Poetic Pause
Viewing comments for Chapter 15 "The Justice Watch"First Poems
3 total reviews
Comment from karenina
Here, too, you'd benefit from increasing the font size...perhaps "bold" to make it stand out against the background. A suggestion might be to create a better flow in the final three lines. Line five could stand alone... Lines six and seven seem like incomplete sentences and could benefit from a bit of rewording.
"She comes damned in the eyes of light,
Which fooled the name of Justice...."
(Simply a suggestion. I'm aware of your poetic license!)
Karenina
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2023
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Here, too, you'd benefit from increasing the font size...perhaps "bold" to make it stand out against the background. A suggestion might be to create a better flow in the final three lines. Line five could stand alone... Lines six and seven seem like incomplete sentences and could benefit from a bit of rewording.
"She comes damned in the eyes of light,
Which fooled the name of Justice...."
(Simply a suggestion. I'm aware of your poetic license!)
Karenina
Comment Written 08-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2023
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Really good suggestions thank you very much i'm on it!
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Merely suggestions Lea... I want you to know I respect your personal choices!
Comment from JT traveller
I appreciate the juxtaposition of the "hard versus soft" words. It makes for unique poetry which is always good.
Personally, and it probably me, the word tepid would not be the first adjective that comes to mind when describing fruit. An illustration may make your poem stand out more too.
An enjoyable read. Keep on writing.
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2023
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I appreciate the juxtaposition of the "hard versus soft" words. It makes for unique poetry which is always good.
Personally, and it probably me, the word tepid would not be the first adjective that comes to mind when describing fruit. An illustration may make your poem stand out more too.
An enjoyable read. Keep on writing.
Comment Written 11-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2023
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Thank you again! I appreciate your comments they are very helpful! Thx 4 your attention!
L
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I am glad you took my review in the intended manner. Have a wonderful Sunday. Jacqueline
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That's weird
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Tepid to me means luke warm. It may mean something else to you, I am not sure. I loved your poem. It was simply a thought of mine. Perhaps a silly one. Jacqueline
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Yes the word Tepid is in fact Luke warm. I meant as a disguise for poisonous intent. Like an indifferent shrug pretending not to care. I'm so glad you enjoyed it! Thx again!
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Great. Thanks for the explanation. I appreciate it. Have a fantastic day. Jacqueline
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Anytime!
Comment from Terry Broxson
It is an interesting read. You did achieve your goal. When I read the first line and contemplated your question, my first thought was politics. Or maybe a politician. It wouldn't make any difference which party they might advocate, either could be guilty. I actually thought the whole poem worked well in that context. Well done. Terry.
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2023
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It is an interesting read. You did achieve your goal. When I read the first line and contemplated your question, my first thought was politics. Or maybe a politician. It wouldn't make any difference which party they might advocate, either could be guilty. I actually thought the whole poem worked well in that context. Well done. Terry.
Comment Written 11-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2023
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Ty Terry! Hope u have an awesome day!
