Reviews from

Pay Day

Viewing comments for Chapter 8 "Pay Day, pt 8"
One fine spring day at school

7 total reviews 
Comment from Wendy G
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I am so glad nothing happened on that day. All these students have been moved to give up their ideas and perhaps start a new life. Who knows what may happen in the next chapter? Looking forward to it.
Wendy

 Comment Written 12-Feb-2023


reply by the author on 12-Feb-2023
    Thank you for your great review.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This was really great, wonderful that the 5 young men knew their choice for that day had been a bad choice. It's so great that someone came home from school, and nothing had happened. No errors found.

 Comment Written 11-Feb-2023


reply by the author on 12-Feb-2023
    Thank you for your very nice review.
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

James' voiced cracked to barely discernible. Change voiced to voice.

Wayne, I really like how you are sectioning this story out - last week the troubled kids were confronted and decided not to take action; this week we are finding out what they are doing in the aftermath of their decisions. They are looking for help - for hope.

Very good section.

Pam


 Comment Written 11-Feb-2023


reply by the author on 11-Feb-2023
    Thank you. And once again for the catch.
Comment from Zinnia48
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I was very moved, actually a little tearful, while reading this. It also made me a bit anxious. I was a social worker for many years and recognized the trouble and pain these kids were in. You did a great jog of describing each child. The conversation was natural. Thank you and looking forward to the next chapter. zinnia

 Comment Written 11-Feb-2023


reply by the author on 11-Feb-2023
    Thank you. It was easy since to a degree I've been all of them (except James was embellished - I was just dumped).
    I've also been the Bible club people, but only after the USMC grew me up.
Comment from lyenochka
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Now we can breathe a sigh of relief. I liked how you had each troubled kid find a different way to solace, comfort, and God. One went to a church. Another met with a trusted friend. And the brainy kid went directly to reading the gospel of John. Each one is unique and needed to find God in his own way. The story makes us wonder how often the Holy Spirit does intervene and we never knew because it was just another fine, spring day.

 Comment Written 11-Feb-2023


reply by the author on 11-Feb-2023
    Thank you. Exactly the reaction/response I hoped for. Thank you.
Comment from royowen
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I had to laugh at the girl's response to her mother's enquiry as to hat sort of day she'd had, reminds me of my granddaughter's response to the same question, it seems to me there was lots going on. Well done Wayne, great episode my friend, blessings Roy

 Comment Written 11-Feb-2023


reply by the author on 11-Feb-2023
    Thank you for your great review.
reply by royowen on 11-Feb-2023
    Most welcome
Comment from Ricky1024
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This "Payday Pt.8" was well written rich in Theme and Imagery.
It also, read well and Flowed well with no Grammar Issues.
...
My Complete Synopsis:
The Adjective and Objective Contents were both Excellent and Exceptional while Descriptive Measures aligned Perfectly.
Thanks for sharing this Wayne and have a blessed Saturday.
Doctor Ricky 1024

 Comment Written 11-Feb-2023


reply by the author on 11-Feb-2023
    Thank you.