Hindrance
The betrayal of neglect and false promises13 total reviews
Comment from Gina Schneller
Hi there!
Very interesting and intense poem. I really liked these lines,
"I watch as they depart -
Like feathers stolen by the wind,
I'm helpless to this theft,"
The picture you chose is perfect too! Thank you so much for sharing with us all!
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2023
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Hi there!
Very interesting and intense poem. I really liked these lines,
"I watch as they depart -
Like feathers stolen by the wind,
I'm helpless to this theft,"
The picture you chose is perfect too! Thank you so much for sharing with us all!
Comment Written 31-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2023
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Thank you so much!
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This is a truly poetized for expression of a sad experience in human relation, at the instance of betrayal man thinks of the losing the spirit of faith and reliance; in our relation where love is wiped out the order of betrayal comes into effect in relation; well done; ALCREATOR LITT DEAR
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2023
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This is a truly poetized for expression of a sad experience in human relation, at the instance of betrayal man thinks of the losing the spirit of faith and reliance; in our relation where love is wiped out the order of betrayal comes into effect in relation; well done; ALCREATOR LITT DEAR
Comment Written 31-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2023
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Thank you so much!
Comment from Alexandra Trovato
Your writing is certainly written from a truth in you, something that you know. At moments I would feel strength then desperation in your writing. Every reader brings his or her self to reading a piece. To me, this poem spoke to my relationship with my disease that I have MS.
Disease if MS that I have.
Ix
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2023
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Your writing is certainly written from a truth in you, something that you know. At moments I would feel strength then desperation in your writing. Every reader brings his or her self to reading a piece. To me, this poem spoke to my relationship with my disease that I have MS.
Disease if MS that I have.
Ix
Comment Written 31-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2023
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Alexandra, thank you so much for your review and interpretation!! This poem was drawn from a few different sources of inspiration, most of which aren't an actual person. Your comment resonated with me deeply.
<3
Jessica
Comment from jake cosmos aller
powerful and moving poem about betrayal by a love one. You nailed the mood with simple everyday vocabulary. Loved the last lines
You and your indifference,
Familiar desperation.
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2023
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powerful and moving poem about betrayal by a love one. You nailed the mood with simple everyday vocabulary. Loved the last lines
You and your indifference,
Familiar desperation.
Comment Written 30-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2023
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Jake, thank you! I appreciate that so much.
Comment from royowen
I was betrayed by a close friend, and it came harder than any rejection could ever be, and yet he was a Bible believing person as I am, knowing betrayal is nearly the worst of all sins, excepting for the abuse of a child, which is almost the worst betrayal ever. But beautifully written my friend, excellent job. Blessings Roy
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2023
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I was betrayed by a close friend, and it came harder than any rejection could ever be, and yet he was a Bible believing person as I am, knowing betrayal is nearly the worst of all sins, excepting for the abuse of a child, which is almost the worst betrayal ever. But beautifully written my friend, excellent job. Blessings Roy
Comment Written 30-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2023
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Thank you so much, Roy<3
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Pleasure
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
Like your desperate poem. When I was reading this, I kept thinking, hold on, hold on! I have a question for you? If we don't go to church and we listen to the sermons online, have we fallen from grace? Does Jesus feel betrayed if we do not enter His sanctuary? We can worship Him anywhere, at any time of the day.
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2023
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Like your desperate poem. When I was reading this, I kept thinking, hold on, hold on! I have a question for you? If we don't go to church and we listen to the sermons online, have we fallen from grace? Does Jesus feel betrayed if we do not enter His sanctuary? We can worship Him anywhere, at any time of the day.
Comment Written 29-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2023
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I think worship is worship. As long as it's directing at Him, that's all that matters. Thank you for your review!
<3
Comment from Sarah Das Gupta
This is poignant and moving. You express in well chosen imagery the stages of reacting to betrayal. What is so difficult to express is that feeling of despising your own perceived weakness, a sort of self-blaming which you do brilliantly!
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2023
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This is poignant and moving. You express in well chosen imagery the stages of reacting to betrayal. What is so difficult to express is that feeling of despising your own perceived weakness, a sort of self-blaming which you do brilliantly!
Comment Written 28-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2023
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Thank you, Sarah! I appreciate your feedback very much!
<3
Jessica
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All best wishes!
Comment from Ricky1024
"Hindrance" was well written rich in Theme and Imagery
It also, read well and Flowed well with no Grammar Issues.
Thanks for sharing this and good luck with your contest entry
Doctor Ricky
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2023
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"Hindrance" was well written rich in Theme and Imagery
It also, read well and Flowed well with no Grammar Issues.
Thanks for sharing this and good luck with your contest entry
Doctor Ricky
Comment Written 28-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2023
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Thank you so much!
Comment from BermyBye50
Jessica,
This is an exceptional entry in the Betrayal poetry contest. You tell a heart-wrenching story with the vivid imagery interwoven together by your words. Unfamiliar desperation transitions creatively to Familiar desperation brilliantly in this deeply personal depiction of betrayal. Well done.
All the best in the contest,
Eugene
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2023
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Jessica,
This is an exceptional entry in the Betrayal poetry contest. You tell a heart-wrenching story with the vivid imagery interwoven together by your words. Unfamiliar desperation transitions creatively to Familiar desperation brilliantly in this deeply personal depiction of betrayal. Well done.
All the best in the contest,
Eugene
Comment Written 10-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2023
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Thank you, from the bottom of my heart. Your complimenting review has made my day- my week, perhaps!
Cheers, Eugene!
Jess
Comment from Rebecca Roberts1
This is a sad "song". I felt so drained at the end, hoping for the person to recover and heal. The imagery was wonderful.
Good job. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2023
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This is a sad "song". I felt so drained at the end, hoping for the person to recover and heal. The imagery was wonderful.
Good job. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 10-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2023
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I genuinely feel so complimented by your words. The inspiration behind this piece was drawn from a situation someone very dear to me is going through. That draining, relentless and empathetic hope for her healing was growing and growing until it exploded- pouring out of me and into this poem. My point, fellow empath, is thank you for letting it take you there!
Cheers
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You are very welcome!
