Comment from Rebecca Roberts1

Excellent

Thank you for this story. With all the shootings in schools, this was a breath of fresh air. It saddens me when I hear of people holding prayer vigils after the fact, when they should have prayed to prevent anything from happening.
Wonderful job.

 Comment Written 10-Feb-2023

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reply by the author on 11-Feb-2023

Thank you for your great review.

Comment from Carol Hillebrenner

Excellent

Jesus's love wins five! God does tell us where we are needed. Sometimes we just don't listen. So happy your story has a happy ending, nothing could be better than those guys finding friends and God.

 Comment Written 09-Feb-2023

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reply by the author on 09-Feb-2023

Thank you for your great review.

Comment from Pam Lonsdale

Excellent

You end one paragraph by saying "the lasy day he'd ever have to be concerned about anyone knowing his name. They wouldn't thereafter. Everybody would know his name." Do you mean "They would thereafter"?

I guess this gives truth to the phrase "God's crusaders". These kids who want to do harm seem not to have ever wanted to in the first place, just felt trapped in a life that wasn't working out for them. They seem easily turned away by the Bible Club's words, hopefully the kids in the Club will continue their support long after their initial introductions.

This was a fast-paced chapter and a good read. There are backpacks stowed away and waiting for action - we'll see who takes it or if these encounters knocked them back to their senses.

 Comment Written 09-Feb-2023

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reply by the author on 09-Feb-2023

Thank you for the catch.
My hope was that readers would see the Holy Spirit in action, touching people, through people.
I think kids with evil intent would be, in large measure, easily dissuaded if confronted.
Thank you for your thoughtful review.

Comment from Wendy G

Excellent

Good. The disaster averted, at least temporarily. I wasn't quite sure why John was so upset over the weekend ( went back to check if I had missed a chapter). Their plan seemed to work, although I am not sure if it would work in reality. Am I doubting God's work? I hope not, but my experience is that troubled kids need much more in-depth spiritual conversation than the few fleeting words they received, and those really bent on killing would likely not have changed their minds so quickly. But the writing itself was good.
Wendy

 Comment Written 09-Feb-2023

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reply by the author on 09-Feb-2023

Thank you for your thoughtful review.
My hope was that readers would see the Holy Spirit in action, touching people, through people.
I think kids with evil intent would be, in large measure, easily dissuaded if confronted.
But in reality, I believe that without the Holy Spirit's direct involvement the forces of evil in the U.S. might prevail.

Comment from lyenochka

Excellent

I liked how you matched up the troubled kids with the ones specifically moved by the Holy Spirit to reach out and care for each of them. I especially liked the interaction between Chelsea and Anthony and that Brett was close behind to offer supporting prayers. I hope the violence intended was averted.

 Comment Written 08-Feb-2023

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reply by the author on 08-Feb-2023

Thank you for your very great review.

Comment from royowen

Excellent

I think there's nothing more can jog the conscience of folk, than saying that
Jesus loves them, but also that talk can attract great mocking too. But it shows also that love can change a bad situation, despite the complications of life, it seems to override all else. Beautifully written my friend, blessings Roy

 Comment Written 08-Feb-2023

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reply by the author on 08-Feb-2023

Thank you for a very kind review.

reply by royowen on 08-Feb-2023

Most welcome

Comment from eliz100

Excellent

This is an excellent chapter. It looks like prayer is working which I think is wonderful. My heart breaks for those teens who are picked on in Jr. and Senior High. You portrayed this very well. I do not see any room for improvement, Have a blessed day.

 Comment Written 08-Feb-2023

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reply by the author on 08-Feb-2023

Thank you for a very kind review.

Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)

Exceptional

This is really great, compelling reading, except for the very beginning where John's behaviour and intimated breakdown seem unexplained -I feel as though there was a slight break in continuity from the last episode. kay

 Comment Written 08-Feb-2023

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reply by the author on 08-Feb-2023

Thank you.
And thank you for the six stars!
I meant for John to be too choked up to speak clearly. I'll fix it to better convey that.
The last episode, they prayed for one another (for strength to endure, or whatever). They agreed to meet the next morning 30 minutes early. that's where this one started.

reply by Katherine M. (k-11) on 08-Feb-2023

yes I remembered that, I just couldn't work out what had upset him so much over the weekend that he didn't answer their calls or explain

Comment from Wyon Stansfeld

Poor

oh gosh, I'm sorry but as an agnostic I gave up reading this quite soon on. All the references to God and bible class etc leave me cold. I am sure there will be Christians who will give you a much better review than I possibly good but I am telling you this frankly so that you know you are writing for a selected audience.

 Comment Written 08-Feb-2023

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reply by the author on 08-Feb-2023

Of course I knew it. Just as I prefer not to review vampires or pornography. I am, though, quite able to review the writing of genres not particularly to my taste.
I note that although you rated this piece a single star, you failed to point out any error whatsoever. I rate your review a zero.
"a much better review than I possibly good " - This makes no sense.
Thank you.