Reviews from

Shopping Trip

Short story 150 words

17 total reviews 
Comment from Liz O'Neill
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Good image: "A matronly lady parked her car, exited, and adjusted her glasses." I like how this is told from the perspective of the raccoon. It will draw the reader in. This is very amusing: " I decided to nip her ankles after all." & "I did not even feel guilty. It was the free apple!"

 Comment Written 10-Feb-2023


reply by the author on 10-Feb-2023
    Thank you so much for stopping to read and review on a Friday night! (Or whatever night it is where you are.)
reply by Liz O'Neill on 10-Feb-2023
    You are very welcome..Fri night & cold in So. Vermont
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
Excellent
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I'm sure that the raccoon loved the delicious apple. He's just lucky that one rolled out of the bag, or he would have bitten her even harder. Even a raccoon is vicious when they want something to eat. Like your story.

 Comment Written 06-Feb-2023


reply by the author on 06-Feb-2023
    You must have studied raccoons. Thanks for your great five star review.
reply by Rosemary Everson1 on 07-Feb-2023
    I have never studied raccoons, but my hubby hunted them years ago.
Comment from w.j.debi
Excellent
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You made me laugh with the raccoon getting the bargain apple so he didn't have to feel guilty for snatching it. After all, he was just hungry. This is a delightful tale told from the racoon's perspective.
Best of luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 06-Feb-2023


reply by the author on 06-Feb-2023
    Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from jmdg1954
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Writer,
Cute story of the raccoon in waiting. He knew what he wanted and probably used that tactic previously to get what he wanted.
Good flash with the nice twist at the end.
Cheers to the crunchy apple.
John

 Comment Written 05-Feb-2023


reply by the author on 05-Feb-2023
    Thank you for your five-star review, much appreciated.
Comment from JT traveller
Excellent
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Very funny. Written from a racoons perspective. After all, he did eat the free one. Haha.

Well constructed and the writing flows. A thoroughly enjoyable read.

 Comment Written 04-Feb-2023


reply by the author on 05-Feb-2023
    Thank you very much for your friendly review.
Comment from PoemsOfDD
Excellent
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This is a fun entry for the flash fiction story contest. I like how you have given the sneaky little raccoon a voice to tell their side of the story :-). I am sure the female shopper was happy to be picking up all the apples she set out to buy... with one to go to charity. An enjoyable lighthearted read. Best of luck in the competition.

 Comment Written 04-Feb-2023


reply by the author on 05-Feb-2023
    Thank you so much for your kind review.
Comment from jessizero
Excellent
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Cute story! I was amused that the raccoon didn't feel guilty because the apple he took was the "free" one. Thanks for sharing, and best wishes to you.

 Comment Written 03-Feb-2023


reply by the author on 04-Feb-2023
    Thank you for your super review.
Comment from Terry Broxson
Excellent
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LOL. What a hoot! I am thinking since he got the free apple, she may not object so much...fat chance of that. She probably called animal control and put out an all-points bulletin on the raccoon with an apple in his mouth. An excellent job for this contest. Good luck. Terry.

 Comment Written 03-Feb-2023


reply by the author on 03-Feb-2023
    Thank you for your five-star review! Guess that little raccoon thief better watch his back.
Comment from judiverse
Excellent
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It's fun to have the raccoon tell the story. He has a sharp eye out for what's going on and doesn't want to miss out on his chance to grab a bargain. You can tell the raccoon is up to no good. It looks like he's wearing a mask and gloves. He thinks he's got everything covered, but detectives always check out those bite marks against dental records. They'll have the scoundrel nailed. It's a fun addition that he took the free apple. He thinks that justifies his crime. A fun story. Best of luck in the contest. judi

 Comment Written 03-Feb-2023


reply by the author on 03-Feb-2023
    Dental records, LOL. Thanks for reading and reviewing.
reply by judiverse on 03-Feb-2023
    You're welcome. Come to think of it, those raccoons probably don't bother with a dentist. judi
Comment from Teri7
Excellent
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I love the raccoon picture and your great story. This was a very smart racoon. You used very good descriptive words and very good imagery. Best wishes in the contest. Teri

 Comment Written 03-Feb-2023


reply by the author on 03-Feb-2023
    Thank you for your super review!