Lessons Learned and Spiritual
Viewing comments for Chapter 22 "Forgiving Cheaters"Do good and feel good poems
46 total reviews
Comment from Ida T. Johnson
Your poem has some great 1-liners: "technically...weren't in bed...only on it?" LOL!!!! & of course, who can ever forget L Bobbitt?!! QUITE entertaining! Curious about the unneeded comma in the middle of most of the lines. However, since you've created a free verse poem, enough said.
Great job & good luck!
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2023
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Your poem has some great 1-liners: "technically...weren't in bed...only on it?" LOL!!!! & of course, who can ever forget L Bobbitt?!! QUITE entertaining! Curious about the unneeded comma in the middle of most of the lines. However, since you've created a free verse poem, enough said.
Great job & good luck!
Comment Written 28-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2023
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No Ida, you are correct, those commas are not needed. I changed some of the lines, but they are all still rhymes in heptameter. The commas were because some in the beginning were having hard time reading them, but I think I will go in and edit some of those out. Thank you for your lovely review and comments, my dear friend.
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my pleasure
Comment from jmdg1954
Your poem was written with true feelings.
People shouldn't pledge their love for someone else and let something like this happen.
A threatening yet somewhat comical ending line.
I'll forgive you one more time, but you best find ways to stop it
'Cause if you don't, I will be, the next Lorena Bobbitt
John
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2023
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Your poem was written with true feelings.
People shouldn't pledge their love for someone else and let something like this happen.
A threatening yet somewhat comical ending line.
I'll forgive you one more time, but you best find ways to stop it
'Cause if you don't, I will be, the next Lorena Bobbitt
John
Comment Written 28-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2023
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Hi John, I sure love your appreciation for a little comical ending. I thank you so much for your very kind review and words for my poem. They are so appreciated, my dear friend!
Comment from Sarah Das Gupta
A sad commentary on the state of many modern languages! The rhyming and short verses drive home the lesson. The picture too adds to the story.
The wife seems unlikely to forgive again!
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2023
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A sad commentary on the state of many modern languages! The rhyming and short verses drive home the lesson. The picture too adds to the story.
The wife seems unlikely to forgive again!
Comment Written 28-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2023
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Sarah, you are so right about how bad cheating is for the innocent spouse and also the children. That is why I chose this subject, as I have a friend who committed suicide after she found out that her 40 yr marriage was a lie.
I hope you know how much your awesome review means to me. Thank you so much for your very kind words for my poem. They are so appreciated, my dear friend!
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Sorry, I meant to say 'marriages' I think my daughter's kitten was distracting
me! Best wishes!
Comment from dragonpoet
This is witty poem on a serious topic is a good entry for the contest. It has couplets with unforced rhyme and smooth rhythms. I think she has forgiven him too many times. If she became Lorena Bobbitt, he would be done with cheating for life.
Good luck in the contest.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Joan
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2023
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This is witty poem on a serious topic is a good entry for the contest. It has couplets with unforced rhyme and smooth rhythms. I think she has forgiven him too many times. If she became Lorena Bobbitt, he would be done with cheating for life.
Good luck in the contest.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Joan
Comment Written 28-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2023
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Joan, you are so right about how bad cheating is for the innocent spouse and also the children. That is why I chose this subject, as I have a friend who committed suicide after she found out that her 40 yr marriage was a lie.
I hope you know how much your awesome review means to me. Thank you so much for your very kind words for my poem. They are so appreciated, my dear friend!
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You are very welcome. I am sorry for her and her family and for your loss.
Her cheating husband must feel really bad for causing her suicide.
Joan
Comment from mermaids
Love your last line about being Lorena Bobbitt, the ultimate revenge for cheating. Your words read like a mini movie yet are true to life. The two line verses with the smooth rhyming of words add to your theme. A poem that should be read by many.
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2023
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Love your last line about being Lorena Bobbitt, the ultimate revenge for cheating. Your words read like a mini movie yet are true to life. The two line verses with the smooth rhyming of words add to your theme. A poem that should be read by many.
Comment Written 28-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2023
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My dear friend, you are so right about how bad cheating is for the innocent spouse and also the children. That is why I chose this subject, as I have a friend who committed suicide after she found out that her 40 yr marriage was a lie.
I hope you know how much your awesome review means to me. Thank you so much for your very kind words for my poem. They are so appreciated, my dear friend!
Comment from ArwenE
This is a poem written in a form of a verse that expresses anger, betrayal, and frustration. The speaker is addressing someone who has been unfaithful and is asking for forgiveness. The speaker is skeptical of the person's remorse, questioning their sincerity. The poem describes the hurt and anxiety the speaker experienced when the person didn't come home and didn't give warning. The speaker accuses the person of making them feel guilty and of being unfaithful with the nanny, which is something a good mother should forbid. The speaker also accuses the person of using an addiction as an excuse for their behavior. The poem is written in a conversational tone with a strong use of repetition and a clear rhyme scheme. The poem also uses a metaphor of "cheating" and "burning" to express the damage caused by the unfaithful behavior and the consequences of it. The reference to Lorena Bobbitt, a woman who cut off her husband's penis, is used to threaten the person with severe consequences if they cheat again. The poem is a powerful expression of the pain and anger caused by infidelity and the determination to not tolerate it anymore.
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2023
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This is a poem written in a form of a verse that expresses anger, betrayal, and frustration. The speaker is addressing someone who has been unfaithful and is asking for forgiveness. The speaker is skeptical of the person's remorse, questioning their sincerity. The poem describes the hurt and anxiety the speaker experienced when the person didn't come home and didn't give warning. The speaker accuses the person of making them feel guilty and of being unfaithful with the nanny, which is something a good mother should forbid. The speaker also accuses the person of using an addiction as an excuse for their behavior. The poem is written in a conversational tone with a strong use of repetition and a clear rhyme scheme. The poem also uses a metaphor of "cheating" and "burning" to express the damage caused by the unfaithful behavior and the consequences of it. The reference to Lorena Bobbitt, a woman who cut off her husband's penis, is used to threaten the person with severe consequences if they cheat again. The poem is a powerful expression of the pain and anger caused by infidelity and the determination to not tolerate it anymore.
Comment Written 28-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2023
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Hi Arwen, I apologize for this being so late. My eye specialist has restricted my time on my ipad for a while, but I wanted to make sure you knew how much your awesome review means to me. Thank you so much for your very kind words for my poem. They are so appreciated, my dear friend!
Comment from Father Flaps
Hi Mystery Author,
I don't think there are many gals who would forgive a husband who was fooling around with another woman. They'd be giving him his walking papers, his clothes tossed out the window to the lawn below. A sleeping bag, too, for good measure. And maybe a ham sandwich, seeing that he's such a pig!
My own daughter went through this. My wife and I took her and our granddaughter in back in the fall of 2018. They've been with us ever since. Her ex-husband had another woman on the side for months. How long will he last with her? Our daughter is better off, for sure. She knows it. But my wife and I have had to help out in many different ways, picking up where the slacker left off. Our retirement... on hold.
I'm glad this is not about your marriage, my dear. Bottom line... Husbands who cheat don't deserve a second chance! Give them their walking papers, straight from your lawyer.
Good Luck in the "Forgiveness" contest
Hugs,
Kimbob
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2023
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Hi Mystery Author,
I don't think there are many gals who would forgive a husband who was fooling around with another woman. They'd be giving him his walking papers, his clothes tossed out the window to the lawn below. A sleeping bag, too, for good measure. And maybe a ham sandwich, seeing that he's such a pig!
My own daughter went through this. My wife and I took her and our granddaughter in back in the fall of 2018. They've been with us ever since. Her ex-husband had another woman on the side for months. How long will he last with her? Our daughter is better off, for sure. She knows it. But my wife and I have had to help out in many different ways, picking up where the slacker left off. Our retirement... on hold.
I'm glad this is not about your marriage, my dear. Bottom line... Husbands who cheat don't deserve a second chance! Give them their walking papers, straight from your lawyer.
Good Luck in the "Forgiveness" contest
Hugs,
Kimbob
Comment Written 28-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2023
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Hi there Kimbob, what started out 5 days ago with a satire theme about forgiving cheaters, a few little funny lines and just a way to get to my punchline at the end. However little by little since then, it has taken on a more serious note of anger and hostility for the abuse that the woman goes through. And now after reading your review and hearing about your daughter, I have changed it completely into a public service announcement. I changed the visual, edited some lines that you may even easier relate to your daughter and in notes, left a strong message of helping a friend or family member to get help or to help them get out. It amazes me at what we do here at FanStory when we do it all together. Will you please read my revised poem and let me know what you think, or even if you have any suggestions. My heart breaks for your daughter and you as a family, but I commend you as a father and I have never been more proud to be your friend as I am right now. Thank you for this heartfelt review that you left. It did not fall on deaf ears.
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Hi Mystery Author, I would leave the poem as it is. You get your point across. However, I'm of the mind to not forgive him. At the very least, let him come begging for a second chance. As a husband, he's a dud.
KB
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Hi there, I made all my changes and I feel really good about it. Don't worry, I still kept the Bobbitt thing at the end. Actually this wasn't about me, as much as my purpose was to let it be known that it is not ok. Actually it happened to two of my sisters when they were younger. And one of my brother in-laws excuses was that my sister spent all her time at the hospital with their 4 year old leukemia daughter.
So your story just made me a little angrier at that species of asses, as they aren't good enough to be called a man. And I really hate to insult the donkeys of the world either.
Thank KB, you are an amazing man.
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As for the writing, I was once told by a popular published children's author, Sheree Fitch... Never think a poem is finished. There's always room for improvement. Tweak, tweak, and tweak some more. And when you think you've tweaked enough, think again. A better word, a better phrase, a better ending. It happens.
Cheers,
Kimbob
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I have a recipe for writing poetry. Make your masterpiece, let it simmer for a few hours. Come back and stir, season it and stir again, taste. You will know when it is done. Let it simmer and repeat for a couple days. Then the last time, taste it one more time and serve when it is hot! However, between here and the posting page, mine seems to cool off a little. And if it seems ready when I post it, I will change something on it for at least the whole first day. Not because anyone tells me to. I think once it is in serving mode, it becomes more real and you can look at it mor objectively and see more what could be done with it. Glad to hear I am not the only one who does it. But when it feels right, you know it.
Comment from Kaiku
Good work on offering awareness to an existing problem from both sides of the bed. The second to last line is the culprit to a huge problem, one more time, it happens with physical and verbal abuse. `One more time` can be the death sentence.
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2023
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Good work on offering awareness to an existing problem from both sides of the bed. The second to last line is the culprit to a huge problem, one more time, it happens with physical and verbal abuse. `One more time` can be the death sentence.
Comment Written 28-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2023
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Hi there Kaiku, , you are so right about how bad cheating is for the innocent spouse and also the children. That is why I chose this subject, as I have a friend who committed suicide after she found out that her 40 yr marriage was a lie.
I hope you know how much your awesome review means to me. Thank you so much for your very kind words for my poem. They are so appreciated, my dear friend!
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So sad. You are welcome.
Comment from karenina
I'd have one heck of a time forgiving this cheating cad a first time...
These kinds of men always have an excuse. It's "our" fault, don't ya know?
We're not meeting their needs or some such nonsense.
Nice entry...
I'll grant you your penchant for one more chance... I'd go right for the Lorena Bobbitt "therapy."
Karenina
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2023
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I'd have one heck of a time forgiving this cheating cad a first time...
These kinds of men always have an excuse. It's "our" fault, don't ya know?
We're not meeting their needs or some such nonsense.
Nice entry...
I'll grant you your penchant for one more chance... I'd go right for the Lorena Bobbitt "therapy."
Karenina
Comment Written 28-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2023
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Karenina, you are so right about how bad cheating is for the innocent spouse and also the children. That is why I chose this subject, as I have a friend who committed suicide after she found out that her 40 yr marriage was a lie.
I hope you know how much your awesome review means to me. Thank you so much for your very kind words for my poem. They are so appreciated, my dear friend!
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How very sad. Such betrayal is life- altering and, sadly, life-ending for some. This was very well written. Food for thought!
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Well, Anonymous, you told 'em well. I loved your
contest entry. Everything worked together to create
a great and memorable poem. The image was perfect,
the color scheme and font worked well. Your end rhymes
weren't forced and added to the enjoyment. The last line
summed up her intentions in a way he better not forget.
The video was a perfect choice, too. The act of forgiving
must be taken seriously. There is only so much you can
achieve one chooses to do that--or not.
Thanks for sharing and best wishes in the contest, Jan
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2023
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Well, Anonymous, you told 'em well. I loved your
contest entry. Everything worked together to create
a great and memorable poem. The image was perfect,
the color scheme and font worked well. Your end rhymes
weren't forced and added to the enjoyment. The last line
summed up her intentions in a way he better not forget.
The video was a perfect choice, too. The act of forgiving
must be taken seriously. There is only so much you can
achieve one chooses to do that--or not.
Thanks for sharing and best wishes in the contest, Jan
Comment Written 28-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2023
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Jan, , you are so right about how bad cheating is for the innocent spouse and also the children. That is why I chose this subject, as I have a friend who committed suicide after she found out that her 40 yr marriage was a lie.
I hope you know how much your awesome review means to me. Thank you so much for your very kind words for my poem. They are so appreciated, my dear friend!
