Expect the Unexpected
Unexpected changes.50 total reviews
Comment from Michelle D. Carr
I liked the flow. The only part I question, which would be my problem, was the way Marni died. It sounded like a tornado hit? The end was great. I am a former New Yorker so I appreciated the detail.
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2023
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I liked the flow. The only part I question, which would be my problem, was the way Marni died. It sounded like a tornado hit? The end was great. I am a former New Yorker so I appreciated the detail.
Comment Written 04-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2023
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Thank you, Michelle, for going back and reading an old story that doesn't offer anything in return. Yes, a tornado in the park doesn't sound possible to those of us who know it hasn't happened often. But that is what took Mari, whirled her in the air, and planted her on the fence. I was playing with long sentences at the instruction of professor Brooks Langdon. Sentences most of us were taught to consider run-ons. As a former New Yorker I hope the scene in Bemelman's jazz bar was an eye opener. I appreciate your time, generous review, and kind comments!
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The run on sentences were no problem. Maybe it's just for certain brains.hahaha
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It was the first time I'd ever had a writing teacher convince me to use them. And since then, I've learned to like all the information in certain situations. :-)
Comment from Iza Deleanu
I guess the moral of this story is you missed me not: ) I always like stories about spies and double-crossing situations, and your story is a classic scenario where a Russian spy falls from the sky and is poisoned to death. :) another agent. Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writing :)
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2023
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I guess the moral of this story is you missed me not: ) I always like stories about spies and double-crossing situations, and your story is a classic scenario where a Russian spy falls from the sky and is poisoned to death. :) another agent. Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writing :)
Comment Written 30-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2023
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Thank you so much, Iza, for your generous review, comments, and kind words. Studying professor Brooks Landon's teachings about expanding sentences. This was an experiment with what I'd always thought were run-on sentences. :) It's always nice when someone I enjoy reading takes time out to read my foolishness. Much appreciated!
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Thanks for sharing your source:) I am blunt, I see, I write:) and sometimes imitate
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I like what you do, my dear. Whoever thought there was such a mixture as devious and sweet. You came to mind as I was writing my current posted story called Blind Justice.
Comment from Heather Knight
This is really good. I felt as if I was watching an old film as I read. I liked your three characters, but Olivia was the most striking. There are only baddies in your story, but she's the worst.
Great attention to detail.
There's only one thing I'm not sure I've understood: was Marni killed by a tornado?
Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2023
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This is really good. I felt as if I was watching an old film as I read. I liked your three characters, but Olivia was the most striking. There are only baddies in your story, but she's the worst.
Great attention to detail.
There's only one thing I'm not sure I've understood: was Marni killed by a tornado?
Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 24-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2023
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Thank you so much, Heather, for taking time out to read some of my foolishness. This story was more of an experiment as I'd been studying with professor Langdon about expanding sentences, which most of us were led to believe are run-on. The Unpredictable Cycles of Life, my four-part Lingering Devotion, or Streets of Cincinnati would probably catch your interest more. But I'm sure they are all outside your interest, which makes me appreciate your generous review and kind words all the more. Yes, Mari, was killed by a tornado. I appreciate your review, and YOU!
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It's not outside my interest at all although I realize that your writing is very different from mine. I very often tend to the childish and the corny. And then on other occasions the tragic.
I have to confess I don't have much time to review and usually choose poems.
I'm also writing poems myself at the moment (free verse only), when I'm really a writer of fiction. But, again, it's faster.
It's both a lack of time and a dollop of lazyness.
Have a nice day.
But you review me quite often and I noticed last night
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Sorry, there's a lost sentence at the end of my previous answer. I was going to say that you review me quite often and I noticed I don't reciprocate.
Take care.
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Oh, you don't have to reciprocate. I enjoy reading your posts, but I'm sure what I write isn't on your preference list. But I do like hearing what you have to say. Have a wonderful weekend!
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I certainly don't consider your writing childish or corny. I more describe it as real life and honest. Of the few stories of yours that I've read, a couple touched me deeply at the time. I like your writing and look forward to reading more. I hope I'll write something you'll like. Have a wonderful weekend!
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I'm sure you will. And thanks for the compliment.
Enjoy the weekend. :)
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
I have been reading since I was 3. I saw this coming. But,I still enjoyed the ride. You add such detail that I was in the room with you and your sandwhich. How was it by the way?
I have to go read some more. I need more points so I can post a story I wrote. Another gripping adventure, KUDOS.
Karen
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2023
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I have been reading since I was 3. I saw this coming. But,I still enjoyed the ride. You add such detail that I was in the room with you and your sandwhich. How was it by the way?
I have to go read some more. I need more points so I can post a story I wrote. Another gripping adventure, KUDOS.
Karen
Comment Written 22-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2023
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Thank you so much, Karen, for your generous review and kind words. I was studying the teachings of professor Langdon as I wrote this, learning about adding extra content to sentences. Exactly what we've always been told not to do, considered run on sentences. He believes more content is better. I have mixed feelings. I appreciate YOU!
Comment from Cathy M
I wanted to give a read back. What a great spy thriller. You captured the death throes exceedingly well. At first, I thought he had been shot, then realized what had happened. When I think about it he was a terrible spy and should never had continued with the sister. Sisters know everything about each other. Nicely told story.
reply by the author on 25-May-2023
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I wanted to give a read back. What a great spy thriller. You captured the death throes exceedingly well. At first, I thought he had been shot, then realized what had happened. When I think about it he was a terrible spy and should never had continued with the sister. Sisters know everything about each other. Nicely told story.
Comment Written 25-May-2023
reply by the author on 25-May-2023
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Thank you so much, Cathy, for your kind words and generous review. I appreciate you taking time out to read some of my foolishness. I write in numerous genre and I'm sure this probably your choice of reading. I look forward to reading more of posts and hope you'll enjoy more of mine. Much appreciated!
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Wow, what a story! Transfixed all the way through. Excellent description and imagery and great pace, not allowing for any distraction on the part of the reader. Everything about the background lulled you into a false sense of security whilst the main characters proved their duplicitous credentials in some style! Well done! Debbie
reply by the author on 24-May-2023
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Wow, what a story! Transfixed all the way through. Excellent description and imagery and great pace, not allowing for any distraction on the part of the reader. Everything about the background lulled you into a false sense of security whilst the main characters proved their duplicitous credentials in some style! Well done! Debbie
Comment Written 24-May-2023
reply by the author on 24-May-2023
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Thank you so much, Debbie, for your kind words and generous review. I'm just a silly old boy who entertains himself with mostly foolishness, hoping it might catch someone else's attention along the way. I appreciate your time and encouraging comments!
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You're welcome! You're very good!
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Thank you so much. You're outstanding!
Comment from w.j.debi
Rob certainly attracts the wrong sort of women. Both Marni and Olivia were out to get him. Fate saved him from Marni, but Olivia was the more talented of the two since she knew how to get Rob to chase her down before he got it.
Was this part of a larger story. I'm not sure why Marni, a Russian agent, was after Rob. Olivia could have been avenging her sister.
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2023
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Rob certainly attracts the wrong sort of women. Both Marni and Olivia were out to get him. Fate saved him from Marni, but Olivia was the more talented of the two since she knew how to get Rob to chase her down before he got it.
Was this part of a larger story. I'm not sure why Marni, a Russian agent, was after Rob. Olivia could have been avenging her sister.
Comment Written 03-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2023
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Thanks so much for taking time out to read my story. I appreciate your kind words and generous review. As I often do, I wrote this in case I might want to expand on it later. As I explained, Rob and the two girls were secret agents. I appreciate your comments and encouragement!
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Thanks for clarifying. I'll read it again and see where I missed that Rob was a secret agent.
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Thanks for your kindness and reading it, but don't waste time reading it again. I have much better posts. :-)
Comment from damommy
It wasn't his fault that Manie died, was it? I guess Olivia didn't see it that way. Obviously, that pain he felt was the carrier of some quick-acting poison. How sad to die on the street like that, amongst strangers.
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2023
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It wasn't his fault that Manie died, was it? I guess Olivia didn't see it that way. Obviously, that pain he felt was the carrier of some quick-acting poison. How sad to die on the street like that, amongst strangers.
Comment Written 25-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2023
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Thank you so much for taking time out to read my foolishness. No, he didn't hurt anyone, an unsuspected tornado blew up and whisked her away, just in time to keep her from killing him with the pistol she had against his head. Both sisters were Russian agents. Knowing this is way outside your comfort zone and the fact you went back to read a story that no longer offers any funny money makes your review all the more appreciated. Thanks again for reading, Ric.
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You're very welcome! I don't how I missed it in the first place. Payoff doesn't matter to me. I skip $1+ because I don't like it. I have found many wonderful posts paying 2 cents.
Comment from Mark Kuglin
That was excellent...I wish I had a six for it.
I really liked the descriptive terms phrases and the imagery, emotions and drama they evolved.
My only suggestion would be to ask yourself while writing:
Have I overwritten a descriptive passage or dialogue exchange?
I have to remind myself that the length of (the time it takes to read) descriptive phrases and/or passages affects pacing, built up tension etc...
I often have have to excise great lines or trim dialogue because I've inadvertently slowed myself.
My only exception is when I'm deliberately trying to hold a character or multiples in place. In those instances, I add the extra descriptive phrases or lengthen a dialogue exchange.
Great work
It was intriguing and enjoyable.
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2023
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That was excellent...I wish I had a six for it.
I really liked the descriptive terms phrases and the imagery, emotions and drama they evolved.
My only suggestion would be to ask yourself while writing:
Have I overwritten a descriptive passage or dialogue exchange?
I have to remind myself that the length of (the time it takes to read) descriptive phrases and/or passages affects pacing, built up tension etc...
I often have have to excise great lines or trim dialogue because I've inadvertently slowed myself.
My only exception is when I'm deliberately trying to hold a character or multiples in place. In those instances, I add the extra descriptive phrases or lengthen a dialogue exchange.
Great work
It was intriguing and enjoyable.
Comment Written 10-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2023
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Thank you so much, Mark, for your generous review, kind words, and suggestions. Yes, I often have a tendency to over describe and then have to go back and axe about half what I write. Especially, with dialog. Although, I'm not one who does much editing or trying to polish. I read back through a time or two at most and let them fly. Hoping they are just that, not over polished or over corrected. As with your "I often have to excise great lines or trim dialogue because I've inadvertently slowed myself," it happens to me. But more times than not, as in this piece, I throw in things to intentionally slow things down or disrupt the pace which has ramped to runaway speed, in hopes of making the read slow to think. LOL. Thanks again for taking time out for my foolishness. Much appreciated!
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My absolute pleasure, sir.
I've also used non-standard dialogue qualifiers to slow the pace or have eliminated them entirely to create more of a real time effect.
I look forward to reading more of your work. I like your style and storytelling.
Comment from John Ciarmello
I so appreciated the run-ons and the spattered fragments! I thought this read like a brilliant piece of poetry, and you said you didn't write it! Bah! You don't know how much I enjoyed this one, Ric! For one reason or another, I didn't receive notification of this, as I would have read it sooner. But when I read your work, pumps don't matter!! Your food descriptions have sent me to the kitchen for breakfast. I'm starving! LOL Brilliant, my friend.
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2023
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I so appreciated the run-ons and the spattered fragments! I thought this read like a brilliant piece of poetry, and you said you didn't write it! Bah! You don't know how much I enjoyed this one, Ric! For one reason or another, I didn't receive notification of this, as I would have read it sooner. But when I read your work, pumps don't matter!! Your food descriptions have sent me to the kitchen for breakfast. I'm starving! LOL Brilliant, my friend.
Comment Written 07-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2023
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Thank you so much, John, for your extra special six-star review and kind words. I don't know why this keeps happening but I had four people tell me they haven't been getting notifications on my posts. Karenina had to go back and read four or five pieces she hadn't gotten, which she shouldn't have with no fan-dollar reward. It's not only happening to me, as I didn't get your last post either, I don't think, but I'll be sure to catch up as I don't want to miss anything. I don't use the word friend easily, but there are just a few people in life that we automatically feel a kinship. And you friend, have always fit the bill. I appreciate your stories, reviews, and most of all, the fellowship with YOU!
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I will say DITTO to your sentiment, my great friend!! I, too, appreciate everything about you! And can truly call you a friend!
