The Truth of the Lie
Some of the atrocities that happened during the Holocaust6 total reviews
Comment from Bill Schott
This poem, The Truth of the Lie, reminds the readers that men are capable of horrific crimes and real people suffered the tortures of the damnwed at the hands of soulless swine.
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This poem, The Truth of the Lie, reminds the readers that men are capable of horrific crimes and real people suffered the tortures of the damnwed at the hands of soulless swine.
Comment Written 28-Jan-2023
Comment from Kaiku
A strong writing. I could feel your pain and dismay brought forth by terrible people. It is truly remarkable the bravery exhibited by those who perished at the leisure and pleasure of evil. God is good.
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A strong writing. I could feel your pain and dismay brought forth by terrible people. It is truly remarkable the bravery exhibited by those who perished at the leisure and pleasure of evil. God is good.
Comment Written 27-Jan-2023
Comment from lancellot
Hmm, this is strangely written prose. You are lacking in punctuations throughout. Subject wise, yes, the Holocaust was a horrible thing. I'm sure there is enough contextually here to explain what you are attempting to say.
Also, if this supposed to be poetry, you may want to ask Tom to switch it from prose.
I suggest looking this one over with a focus on the format and adding depth.
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2023
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Hmm, this is strangely written prose. You are lacking in punctuations throughout. Subject wise, yes, the Holocaust was a horrible thing. I'm sure there is enough contextually here to explain what you are attempting to say.
Also, if this supposed to be poetry, you may want to ask Tom to switch it from prose.
I suggest looking this one over with a focus on the format and adding depth.
Comment Written 25-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2023
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Thank you for the review.
Comment from AuroraSky
Very befitting of the lines and trains of Auschwitz.
Are you going to work the punctuation for the contest? Let me know if you want suggestions, or whether you're content with the presentation.
G'luck.
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2023
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Very befitting of the lines and trains of Auschwitz.
Are you going to work the punctuation for the contest? Let me know if you want suggestions, or whether you're content with the presentation.
G'luck.
Comment Written 25-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2023
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Thank you for the review and the input. I had punctuation and took it out because I wasn't sure it was right. I can use all the help I can get and I thank you for it.
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Cool, I'll have another look at the poem tomorrow after I've slept.
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Here are the punctuation suggestions. How familiar are you with the basic editor and/or setting alignments and background colours because those might help you emphasize the depth somewhat.
The lie came in the form of trust
riding on the wings of friendship;
the truth is to trust no one for
friendships die by the dagger of a lie.
The trains wait, and the people wait
till all are gathered in anguished silence;
the lie is spoken from mouths as of an open sepulcher,
"All will be well."
The pulling apart of the human heart
torn in different directions.
The promise of reuniting, a lie...
Lost hope, lost future, lost love, lost.
A cleansing promised brings possibilities,
only to die in the light of the truth
as they stood and waited for the cleansing flow...
The truth of the lie unfolded.
The smokestacks stand like demented sentinels,
belching forth the stench of human desecration.
Hatred mingles with the billowing smoke...
Nations stand appalled at the pride of man.
Flesh and bone shattered, then buried;
open graves like yawning demons,
waiting to swallow their prey.
Dig your own grave, hoping to die
before being buried alive.
Tortures unheard of lived out by millions,
yet a remnant remained:
memories scarred, stories to be told.
The lie dies in the light of truth
God's people survived.
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Thank you so much for your help, I did insert the punctuations. I had them in but took them out as I wasn't sure if they were right and what to do about the following line. Do I capitalize it or not? I received a scathing review from someone else, It was so bad I decided to drop out of FanStory. I never had formal schooling in writing, I am 89 and started writing at the age of 74. I wrote for 2 online magazines. I just write what I feel or what the Lord tells me. Again thank you. May the Lord bless you with all manners of blessings. Pen
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Yeah, a few fanstorians are that callous. G'luck out there.
Comment from Mary Shifman
You are absolutely right. There is nothing more horrifying than people's cruelty toward each other. The Holocaust was an act of monstrous evil and I fear that if we don't remember the past and make certain it is never forgotten, it could happen again. I do so pray that I'm wrong.
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2023
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You are absolutely right. There is nothing more horrifying than people's cruelty toward each other. The Holocaust was an act of monstrous evil and I fear that if we don't remember the past and make certain it is never forgotten, it could happen again. I do so pray that I'm wrong.
Comment Written 25-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2023
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Thank you for the review and I agree, it could happen again.
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You are very welcome.
Comment from JT traveller
Fantastic composition. I especially liked these lines, "The truth is to trust no one for
Friendships die by the dagger of a lie"
Those words have souch truth in them.
Very creative and a most enjoyable read.
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2023
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Fantastic composition. I especially liked these lines, "The truth is to trust no one for
Friendships die by the dagger of a lie"
Those words have souch truth in them.
Very creative and a most enjoyable read.
Comment Written 25-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2023
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Thank you for the review. It is much appreciated.
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My pleasure.