Be Wee With Bea Part 3
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "Willow Knows"Third in a series is quite sad in the beginning.
8 total reviews
Comment from Jessica Nohavicka
I gave this poem 4 stars. I appreciate the deep thought process of it all which is where the stars came from. The only reason it's missing that one extra star is because I personally enjoy shorter poems.
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2023
   |
I gave this poem 4 stars. I appreciate the deep thought process of it all which is where the stars came from. The only reason it's missing that one extra star is because I personally enjoy shorter poems.
Comment Written 24-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2023
-
Oooof...it's not a poem. Perhaps you would do better limiting your choice of reviewing selection to poems and not consequence the psyche of the unawares prose writer.
Comment from country ranch writer
Rainbow leads to heaven the pass, they will figure out in there how to get Zoe into feeling safe once more. After all they are very smart and carting.
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2023
|
Rainbow leads to heaven the pass, they will figure out in there how to get Zoe into feeling safe once more. After all they are very smart and carting.
Comment Written 20-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2023
-
Thank you for the nice review. I hope you are well.
-
Thank you kindly
-
***big smile***
Comment from lyenochka
I really liked the physical manifestation of worry and anxiety as being stuck and running in place. It's good that Doolie decided to consult with Willow. Hopefully, Doolie will follow more of Bea's good exercises!
Comments:
This first sentence was hard to process: "Doolie remembered how much Willow helped her crew from what seemed long ago." Did Willow help a long time ago or from the passage of time? Maybe: Doolie remembered how much Willow helped her crew. It seemed so long ago. Just a suggestion.
So who would come to the wee bear's rescue this time (question mark)
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2023
|
I really liked the physical manifestation of worry and anxiety as being stuck and running in place. It's good that Doolie decided to consult with Willow. Hopefully, Doolie will follow more of Bea's good exercises!
Comments:
This first sentence was hard to process: "Doolie remembered how much Willow helped her crew from what seemed long ago." Did Willow help a long time ago or from the passage of time? Maybe: Doolie remembered how much Willow helped her crew. It seemed so long ago. Just a suggestion.
So who would come to the wee bear's rescue this time (question mark)
Comment Written 19-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2023
-
Thank you for your involved review. Yes, I remember at the end of the last chapter, you were hoping Doolie would go to Willow who helped her with her anxious puppies in part 2.
Comment from Brett Matthew West
"Doolie so must" should be Doolie so much.
"ro see" should be to see.
The puppies were clever in freeing their mother.
Bea seems to be the problem solver though it may take her time to come up with the solution.
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2023
|
"Doolie so must" should be Doolie so much.
"ro see" should be to see.
The puppies were clever in freeing their mother.
Bea seems to be the problem solver though it may take her time to come up with the solution.
Comment Written 19-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2023
-
Thank you for your review.
Comment from JT traveller
Interesting and enjoyable read. I particularly like the concept of Willow as a character. Zoe seems like a fretful dog. Willow is the tree character that binds the story together. A very well composed piece of writing.
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2023
|
Interesting and enjoyable read. I particularly like the concept of Willow as a character. Zoe seems like a fretful dog. Willow is the tree character that binds the story together. A very well composed piece of writing.
Comment Written 18-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2023
-
Thank you for your insightful review. I've never looked at the character of Willow in that light.
Comment from Jay Squires
The glossary of terms and the character list help immensely, Liz.
This has upset Doolie so must she needs [upset Doolie so MUCH she needs ...]
Doolie -mom bear to puppies from Part 2 [are the puppies actually bears? If they are, why not call them "cubs". No need to complicate what tends to be complicated anyway. On the other hand, if they are dog puppies, ignore my interruption.]
Dear Benny and Zoe who had cried to Willow how useless they felt because they had such intense anxiety. [To me, this begs for separation after "Willow". First of all it is grammatically incorrect, since it's a run-on sentence, but more than that it can be so much more impactful if you used a double dash (EM-Dash) after Willow to let the reader catch a breath.]
who after rescuing a horse being abuse, [a horse being ABUSED ...]
There had to be a way and Willow might be able to unlock the answer [Consider making the first six words their own sentence. It's more powerful that way and doesn't bog down midway through.]
That confused puppy would need a bear mom to get to the top of the dumpster for her. [I think the problem here is the word "That" to begin it. It makes it awkward. Why not "The" confused puppy ..."]
It's amazing how much more understandable it is witht he Glossary and Index. Good job!
Jay
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2023
|
The glossary of terms and the character list help immensely, Liz.
This has upset Doolie so must she needs [upset Doolie so MUCH she needs ...]
Doolie -mom bear to puppies from Part 2 [are the puppies actually bears? If they are, why not call them "cubs". No need to complicate what tends to be complicated anyway. On the other hand, if they are dog puppies, ignore my interruption.]
Dear Benny and Zoe who had cried to Willow how useless they felt because they had such intense anxiety. [To me, this begs for separation after "Willow". First of all it is grammatically incorrect, since it's a run-on sentence, but more than that it can be so much more impactful if you used a double dash (EM-Dash) after Willow to let the reader catch a breath.]
who after rescuing a horse being abuse, [a horse being ABUSED ...]
There had to be a way and Willow might be able to unlock the answer [Consider making the first six words their own sentence. It's more powerful that way and doesn't bog down midway through.]
That confused puppy would need a bear mom to get to the top of the dumpster for her. [I think the problem here is the word "That" to begin it. It makes it awkward. Why not "The" confused puppy ..."]
It's amazing how much more understandable it is witht he Glossary and Index. Good job!
Jay
Comment Written 18-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2023
-
The only characters not real puppies are Bea & Doolie who are bear & the humans in my life, Bea being me. I've noted your observations & will attend to them tomorrow, which actually is here, at my 1am.
Comment from Ricky1024
"Willow Knows"
This is a chapter in the book Entry, "Bee Wee with Be Part #3"
Well written rich in Theme and Imagery.
It also, read well and flowed well with no Grammar Issues.
...
Complete Synopsis:
The Adjective and Objective Contents were both Excellent and Exceptional while Descriptive Measures Aligned Perfectly.
Thanks for sharing and have a blessed day.
Doctor Ricky 1024
Note: If written a Series of Fairytales Entitled,
"Shed A Tear Fairytales and Fables"
Xilibris will publish the four in the future.
They're connected with Author house out of Indiana.
24
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2023
|
"Willow Knows"
This is a chapter in the book Entry, "Bee Wee with Be Part #3"
Well written rich in Theme and Imagery.
It also, read well and flowed well with no Grammar Issues.
...
Complete Synopsis:
The Adjective and Objective Contents were both Excellent and Exceptional while Descriptive Measures Aligned Perfectly.
Thanks for sharing and have a blessed day.
Doctor Ricky 1024
Note: If written a Series of Fairytales Entitled,
"Shed A Tear Fairytales and Fables"
Xilibris will publish the four in the future.
They're connected with Author house out of Indiana.
24
Comment Written 18-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2023
-
Wow, this is a wonderfully substantive review. I would give it 6 stars. Thank you.
Comment from prettybluebirds
The word (abuse) should be (abused. Other than that, it is well-written and creative writing. Thanks for adding the footnotes to explain the meaning of some of the terms you used. Cute story.
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2023
|
The word (abuse) should be (abused. Other than that, it is well-written and creative writing. Thanks for adding the footnotes to explain the meaning of some of the terms you used. Cute story.
Comment Written 18-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2023
-
Thank you for your appreciative review.
