Prune Juice
A hard drink to swallow.26 total reviews
Comment from karenina
Oh well...he wasn't wrong! I love the way little kids take things so literally!
I wonder how many times my kids (now 43 and 44) misunderstood what I was trying to convey. I know my grandkids do! This is well-written and amusing. (And just happens to need one more review to bump up into All-Time-Best!)
Ta-Da!
Karenina
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2023
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Oh well...he wasn't wrong! I love the way little kids take things so literally!
I wonder how many times my kids (now 43 and 44) misunderstood what I was trying to convey. I know my grandkids do! This is well-written and amusing. (And just happens to need one more review to bump up into All-Time-Best!)
Ta-Da!
Karenina
Comment Written 10-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2023
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My Prune Juice kid is now a 43-year-old firefighter. He enjoyed reading this poem, though he remembers nothing of it then. This is a more recent entry, and I appreciate you deeming it well-written. That means a lot. Also, the needed bump to All-Time-Best is a fun thing to have.
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I get a kick out of boosting those one more review. My "prune juice kids" are also 43 and 44. How can that be when we're only fifty? (wink)
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Well, you have 'made' my night and probably my tomorrow, too.
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Then all effort was worth it! And enjoyable!
Comment from Dawn Munro
Oh NO!!! Hahahaha! Yep, that would be a VERY "hard drink to swallow"!!! What an adorable story -- I loved it! I can well imagine this scene too, so your writing was spot-on. The pace was great, the characters and dialogue believable -- everything worked to be vastly entertaining.
I have no sixes left this week to rate this as it deserves, sadly... I wish Tom allotted them according to how much we review.
Best of luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2023
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Oh NO!!! Hahahaha! Yep, that would be a VERY "hard drink to swallow"!!! What an adorable story -- I loved it! I can well imagine this scene too, so your writing was spot-on. The pace was great, the characters and dialogue believable -- everything worked to be vastly entertaining.
I have no sixes left this week to rate this as it deserves, sadly... I wish Tom allotted them according to how much we review.
Best of luck in the contest!
Comment Written 21-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2023
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Hi, Ideasaregems-Dawn. I am so honored to get your virtual six stars. Yes, the six-star awards go quickly. I like your idea about rationing them according to our reviewing level.
And you gave a very detailed review and helpful comments. I need feedback like yours to know when I'm on target or slipping in my entries.
As a side note, my little guy grew up and is now a 42-year-old firefighter.
I did place third in the contest.
Have a wonderful and productive day.
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:) My pleasure.
Comment from Spitfire
Oh my goodness. We have to remember that children take things literally. The sub title is a clever pun with 'hard'. You have a good writing style with sentence variety and to the point dialogue.
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2023
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Oh my goodness. We have to remember that children take things literally. The sub title is a clever pun with 'hard'. You have a good writing style with sentence variety and to the point dialogue.
Comment Written 20-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2023
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Hi, Spitfire. I appreciate your review and all those red stars.
I keep trying to improve my writing style and entries, so it meant a lot when you commented on sentence variety and dialogue.
Have a great day.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
LOL Thank you for sharing this writing prompt entry with us. I enjoyed reading and had to smile. From the mouth of babes. Children have such an interesting perspective on things. I always find it delightful. I'm sure wanting to take your child home, it wasn't delightful, but I'm sure now it is.
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2023
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LOL Thank you for sharing this writing prompt entry with us. I enjoyed reading and had to smile. From the mouth of babes. Children have such an interesting perspective on things. I always find it delightful. I'm sure wanting to take your child home, it wasn't delightful, but I'm sure now it is.
Comment Written 20-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2023
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Hi, Barbara. Thank you for the review and all the red stars.
Well, that little boy did get out of the hospital and is now a 43-year-old firefighter!
Comment from Jesse James Doty
This is a fun and enjoyable story to read. I wonder if is it true or if is it fiction. I wonder because it is under the general fiction category on top of the screen but it sounds like it really happened to you and your young son. My suggestion is to clarify whether it is true or not. I love the story and it rings true for children who take words literally when it is meant to be taken figuratively.
Thanks for sharing and good luck with the contest.
Jesse
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2023
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This is a fun and enjoyable story to read. I wonder if is it true or if is it fiction. I wonder because it is under the general fiction category on top of the screen but it sounds like it really happened to you and your young son. My suggestion is to clarify whether it is true or not. I love the story and it rings true for children who take words literally when it is meant to be taken figuratively.
Thanks for sharing and good luck with the contest.
Jesse
Comment Written 20-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2023
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Hi, Jesse. Thanks for the review and all those red stars.
Somehow, I didn't realize there was a choice between fiction and non-fiction. But it's a true story. So I need to figure out how to clarify it at this point.
Thanks also for your well-wishes; I won third place.
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Yes, when you post a story it will ask you to clarify whether it is fiction or non-fiction or poetry or script. At that point, you designate which one it is and it will show it at the top of the screen. I hope this helps.
Jesse
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It does, Jesse, and thanks for taking the time to fill me in. I'm still trying to figure out how I missed that, but I'll look for it in the future.
I hope you have a productive day.
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Glad I could help. It feels good to help one who asks for it.
Take care,
Jesse
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I will take care, Jesse and you also.
Comment from Terry Broxson
LOL, this is an excellent entry for the contest, good luck. As I was laughing at your story, I did wonder how many times your son has endured hearing the tale. I envisioned a young man saying, "No, mom, not again." Good job. Terry.
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2023
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LOL, this is an excellent entry for the contest, good luck. As I was laughing at your story, I did wonder how many times your son has endured hearing the tale. I envisioned a young man saying, "No, mom, not again." Good job. Terry.
Comment Written 20-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2023
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Thank you, Terry, for your review, comments, and all the stars. My son is a 41-year-old firefighter; the story has yet to be told much because I seldom see his firefighter friends.
I did win third place.
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You are a good mom!
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Thanks again.
Comment from Sarah Robin
Your story is funny! I guess it was not funny from your son's eyes. Your story is very well written. Thanks for sharing this with us. Good luck in the contest. Sarah
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2023
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Your story is funny! I guess it was not funny from your son's eyes. Your story is very well written. Thanks for sharing this with us. Good luck in the contest. Sarah
Comment Written 20-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2023
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Hello, Sarah. Thanks for the review, all the red stars, and the kind comments.
I won third place.
Have a super day.
Comment from lyenochka
Wow, he was really articulate for a little toddler of only eighteen months! Not all toddlers speak in full sentences like that. And he was such a scientist, expecting to see visible evidence of what the said liquid is supposed to do. Best wishes in the contest!
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2023
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Wow, he was really articulate for a little toddler of only eighteen months! Not all toddlers speak in full sentences like that. And he was such a scientist, expecting to see visible evidence of what the said liquid is supposed to do. Best wishes in the contest!
Comment Written 20-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2023
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Hello, Helen. I hope I said my son was ABOUT 18 months old because he is now 43 years old--that's a long time to remember. But I know for sure that he was in a crib.
I did win third place.
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Oh, congratulations! I didn't see the timing of the contest!
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Thank you.
Comment from jmdg1954
I read this yesterday but failed to review fir some reason.
Cute story. My only problem is that you said the child is 18 months old, but he's handling a cup of juice while on his crib like a pro... topping it side to side, and responding in a sentence, "I'm looking for the poo-poo."
Just felt a little disjointed.
John
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2023
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I read this yesterday but failed to review fir some reason.
Cute story. My only problem is that you said the child is 18 months old, but he's handling a cup of juice while on his crib like a pro... topping it side to side, and responding in a sentence, "I'm looking for the poo-poo."
Just felt a little disjointed.
John
Comment Written 19-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2023
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Sorry.
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Unfortunate choice of words.
Very nicely written. Good work.
I was in the hospital after a motorcycle wreck. They wouldn't discharge me until I'd peed. Two nurses came in in the night, woke me (barely) and coaxed me to pee. They stored the urine in the bathroom. The next morning the cleaning person dumped it.
Nice story. Best wishes.
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2023
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Unfortunate choice of words.
Very nicely written. Good work.
I was in the hospital after a motorcycle wreck. They wouldn't discharge me until I'd peed. Two nurses came in in the night, woke me (barely) and coaxed me to pee. They stored the urine in the bathroom. The next morning the cleaning person dumped it.
Nice story. Best wishes.
Comment Written 19-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2023
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Ah ha...so you, too, have had your eliminatory habits monitored?no thanks to the cleaning lady. Hospitals are strange places.
Thank you for your review, all the stars, and good wishes.
I did win third place.
