A Grayer Day I Have Never Seen
a blank verse sonnet21 total reviews
Comment from ESOSTINE
Your poem was very vivid and descriptive. The flow was fantastically smooth and unforced. Thanks for sharing your insight and the world around you. Well done, and good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2023
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Your poem was very vivid and descriptive. The flow was fantastically smooth and unforced. Thanks for sharing your insight and the world around you. Well done, and good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 12-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2023
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I am so pleased you found my sonnet vivid and descriptive. Thank you so much for your praise and those six bright stars. Rod
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
You are so right that the color of the days can cloud our feelings or fill us with light.
It's a good picture you've painted with your words, I can see it all clearly.
Good luck with this contest.
Pam
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2023
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You are so right that the color of the days can cloud our feelings or fill us with light.
It's a good picture you've painted with your words, I can see it all clearly.
Good luck with this contest.
Pam
Comment Written 11-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2023
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Thank you so much, Pam. I am delighted you can see the scene I sketched.
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
This was a fascinating poem to me. I had to go and look up the definition of a Blank Verse sonnet which in itsef was illuminating. On my list to try this out.
In terms of the actual poem, I liked your creation of a monotonous world. kay
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2023
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This was a fascinating poem to me. I had to go and look up the definition of a Blank Verse sonnet which in itsef was illuminating. On my list to try this out.
In terms of the actual poem, I liked your creation of a monotonous world. kay
Comment Written 11-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2023
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Thank you very much for sharing and praising my poem, Katherine. Blank verse is more challenging than it first appears. Have fun trying it out.
Comment from Jim Wile
This was a very well-written, descriptive poem about a typical gray winter's day--the kind that were so common when I lived in Michigan for a number of years. I loved your description in the second stanza of how it's not really depression that these days make you feel, but more just a general blah feeling at the loss of all the good things in the other seasons.
You kept a beautiful iambic pentameter meter going throughout. Just one suggestion: The line "and cleaved to acres of snow-dotted fields" places the accent on "of" which makes it sound forced. A better line would have been something like: "and cleaved to barren fields of fallen snow."
All-in-all, a great poem.
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2023
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This was a very well-written, descriptive poem about a typical gray winter's day--the kind that were so common when I lived in Michigan for a number of years. I loved your description in the second stanza of how it's not really depression that these days make you feel, but more just a general blah feeling at the loss of all the good things in the other seasons.
You kept a beautiful iambic pentameter meter going throughout. Just one suggestion: The line "and cleaved to acres of snow-dotted fields" places the accent on "of" which makes it sound forced. A better line would have been something like: "and cleaved to barren fields of fallen snow."
All-in-all, a great poem.
Comment Written 11-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2023
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Jim, I truly appreciate your marvelous review and the time you took to comment. Your suggestion has definitely caused me to rethink that line. Many thanks.
Comment from tempeste
Ciao!
The countryside truly looks lifeless wrapped in its bleak winter cloak .
During this cold period white, grey and black are the maggior colours on display.
Where I live we have pine tree , they offer a bit of colour.
My favourite lines:
Stretched over land much like a king -sized fitted sheet
Lead grey would have described my funk that day.
PS: just speaking colour choices : to enhance the pic and poem, a black background words in white would have been the trick.
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2023
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Ciao!
The countryside truly looks lifeless wrapped in its bleak winter cloak .
During this cold period white, grey and black are the maggior colours on display.
Where I live we have pine tree , they offer a bit of colour.
My favourite lines:
Stretched over land much like a king -sized fitted sheet
Lead grey would have described my funk that day.
PS: just speaking colour choices : to enhance the pic and poem, a black background words in white would have been the trick.
Comment Written 11-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2023
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Thank you so much, tempeste, for sharing and praising my poem. I appreciate your taking the time to specify which lines are your favorites and suggesting other color choices.
Comment from Bill Schott
This poem, A Grayer Day I Have Never Seen, presented in blank verse, described a scene washed out except for the iron gray pall which deadens all cheery thoughts.
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2023
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This poem, A Grayer Day I Have Never Seen, presented in blank verse, described a scene washed out except for the iron gray pall which deadens all cheery thoughts.
Comment Written 11-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2023
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Many thanks, Bill, for sharing my poem.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Excellent entry for the Two Stanza Poem writing prompt contest.
The rhymes don't sound forced and flow well.
The poem is well written with well chosen words that flow nicely.
The rich nature-imagery is very pleasant
Good luck in the contest.
Gypsy
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2023
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Excellent entry for the Two Stanza Poem writing prompt contest.
The rhymes don't sound forced and flow well.
The poem is well written with well chosen words that flow nicely.
The rich nature-imagery is very pleasant
Good luck in the contest.
Gypsy
Comment Written 10-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2023
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Thank you very much, Gypsy, for sharing and praising my poem.
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
We've had lots of grey skies here this week. The mornings are heavy with foggy crystals on the trees. It looks like the image, and it sounds just like the words in your poem.
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2023
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We've had lots of grey skies here this week. The mornings are heavy with foggy crystals on the trees. It looks like the image, and it sounds just like the words in your poem.
Comment Written 10-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2023
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We just had our first two sunny days of the year. Many thanks for your review and comments, Rosemary.
Comment from Ginda Simpson
What makes this poem successful is the weight of it, a grayness that clings to both landscape and to soul. Both are in desperate need of sunshine, and you make us feel this with your imagery and the words you have chosen. Well Done.
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2023
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What makes this poem successful is the weight of it, a grayness that clings to both landscape and to soul. Both are in desperate need of sunshine, and you make us feel this with your imagery and the words you have chosen. Well Done.
Comment Written 10-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2023
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I love how you phrase the theme of my sonnet, Ginda: "a grayness that clings to both landscape and to souL". Thank you so much for your marvelous praise.
Comment from Kaiku
Grey is such a lousy color. A story of gloom but as you said, not necessarily depression. Sometimes, it`s just the color of grey that puts a pale on everything. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2023
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Grey is such a lousy color. A story of gloom but as you said, not necessarily depression. Sometimes, it`s just the color of grey that puts a pale on everything. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 10-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2023
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Thank you so much, Kaiku, for your review and comments.
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Certainly