In Real Time
Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "Black and White "Stories of the Here and Now
9 total reviews
Comment from Karyn2
Powerful writing indeed!! Thank you so much for steering me to this treasure! I had to sniffle back tears as I read this realising the ache that both boys felt. A natural friendship that formed that became choked by outside pressures and views of others. It is so deeply moving and so sad and really highlights so many of the deeper issues that we easily overlook. Thank you for so expertly penning this. Your writing is an absolute gift to be able to so masterfully draw out the heart of the issues and describe these rich and diverse characters and their lives and give them meaning. It is so very well done! I hope this story get a wide audience as it deserves to be noticed. I so deeply feel that open conversations is the way forward to building not just empathy and understanding that goes both ways but to bringing healing not just into one friendship but into families, communities and my hope: society at large. Bless you for writing this. I wish I had a 6 left to give this.
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2023
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Powerful writing indeed!! Thank you so much for steering me to this treasure! I had to sniffle back tears as I read this realising the ache that both boys felt. A natural friendship that formed that became choked by outside pressures and views of others. It is so deeply moving and so sad and really highlights so many of the deeper issues that we easily overlook. Thank you for so expertly penning this. Your writing is an absolute gift to be able to so masterfully draw out the heart of the issues and describe these rich and diverse characters and their lives and give them meaning. It is so very well done! I hope this story get a wide audience as it deserves to be noticed. I so deeply feel that open conversations is the way forward to building not just empathy and understanding that goes both ways but to bringing healing not just into one friendship but into families, communities and my hope: society at large. Bless you for writing this. I wish I had a 6 left to give this.
Comment Written 12-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2023
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Thanks so much for your excellent review and all your flattering comments supporting the piece. I was really happy to hear that the story seemed to convey these elements of innocence destroyed by the surrounding society that I hoped to get across. It really makes me feel that the effort I put in wasn't wasted. I think about 8 or 9 people reviewed this, was I consider pretty good in light of the fact that I write somewhat longer stories than most people can tolerate here on Fanstory. But I don't like to break up the rhythm of stories artificially to make them easier to digest. It is encouraging to get such a positive review as yours. Write on! estory
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Yes I wish more members dollars could be allocated to the longer pieces of writing to attract more readers. The system is set up for quick reads equal a quick a buck but then absolute gems such as yours get missed. It truly was one of the best things I've read here in writing expertise and story.
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Thanks so much for the encouraging comments and I await your next post...estory
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
First off: apologies for not giving six stars. As an inactive member, I am not afforded the privilege of a weekly allowance of bonus stars. This is a stupendous, nuanced story, excruciating devolution of a friendship heartrending ending. Condolences.
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2023
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First off: apologies for not giving six stars. As an inactive member, I am not afforded the privilege of a weekly allowance of bonus stars. This is a stupendous, nuanced story, excruciating devolution of a friendship heartrending ending. Condolences.
Comment Written 10-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2023
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Thanks for the excellent review, and it is nice to hear from you again. I hadn't seen you on here for a while. I value your opinion, have always admired your own work, and I am glad you felt the story had so much impact. It wasn't easy to write, but I think it's a story that needed to be told. The questions need to be raised. estory
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So glad I stopped by and hit the jackpot with your stunning piece! Most members do not allow their work to be reviewed by outsiders. I can't post new work either, but I can read as I please and repromote prior pieces. I stay in touch with fans via email. Hope to catch you again!
Comment from Mary Shifman
This was a hard story to read because it contains so much truth. As your story illustrates, children don't really see different colors or races as different from them until it's pointed out and emphasized by others as something negative. You did a very good job with this story.
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2023
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This was a hard story to read because it contains so much truth. As your story illustrates, children don't really see different colors or races as different from them until it's pointed out and emphasized by others as something negative. You did a very good job with this story.
Comment Written 10-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2023
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Thanks for the excellent review and I think you got exactly what I wanted to get across about the innocence of the children who have their relationship spoiled by exposure to the prejudice of the people around them. And being torn by their natural allegiance to one side or the other. That is what complicates it. estory
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You are welcome. You did a great job with it.
Comment from Ric Myworld
Your short story covers a lot of ground that most of us are oh so familiar with. You put my mind to jumping around like a ball inside a pinball machine from one thought to another. And even had me standing at the train behind the Garden City Hotel waiting for the train into the city. I got on to check for reviews of the two parts of my latest story and saw estory which looked really familiar to me. I'm so glad I did. Now I just wish I had a six to reward you properly. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2023
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Your short story covers a lot of ground that most of us are oh so familiar with. You put my mind to jumping around like a ball inside a pinball machine from one thought to another. And even had me standing at the train behind the Garden City Hotel waiting for the train into the city. I got on to check for reviews of the two parts of my latest story and saw estory which looked really familiar to me. I'm so glad I did. Now I just wish I had a six to reward you properly. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 09-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2023
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Thanks for the excellent review and I am glad the story seemed to be effective in digging up these tense feelings we all have about this kind of subject matter. It isn't easy to confront this situation, and there are no easy answers, maybe there isn't an answer. But to think about the question is important if we are to get ahead in any way at all. estory
Comment from Jesse James Doty
Wow, I am not sure what to say. You presented a well-documented story of two boys who grew up together not aware of the racism in this country until later on when they grew older and had to face the inherent racism in this country and beyond. I try to stay neutral on this issue but it is hard not to take sides when it comes to personal acquaintances and workers who we live and work with.
Thanks for bringing up the issue that plagues our country.
Jesse
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2023
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Wow, I am not sure what to say. You presented a well-documented story of two boys who grew up together not aware of the racism in this country until later on when they grew older and had to face the inherent racism in this country and beyond. I try to stay neutral on this issue but it is hard not to take sides when it comes to personal acquaintances and workers who we live and work with.
Thanks for bringing up the issue that plagues our country.
Jesse
Comment Written 07-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2023
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Thanks for the excellent review and your perspective on this difficult story. What I tried to show here was the journey of two innocent kids who start off just enjoying each other's company. Then exposure to the world around them, the society in which they live, gradually crumbles their feelings about each other and they are left broken apart from each other by the end. I tried to ask questions of where racism comes from, and is there a way to break out of it? Questions for which we don't quite have an answer just yet. estory
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This is so true! I don't know if we ever will have an answer to the question of racism.
Jesse
Comment from dellsworthpoet
A sad story. Proof that the civil war never really ended. In fact, there seems to be a resurgence in these feelings which has come into the open.
The story is well-paced. The dialogue is believable. The attitude change with the broader society involved is realistic. The narrative stays on point. The end is also unfortunately a mirror of our society.
Thanks for a good read. Kudos.
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2023
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A sad story. Proof that the civil war never really ended. In fact, there seems to be a resurgence in these feelings which has come into the open.
The story is well-paced. The dialogue is believable. The attitude change with the broader society involved is realistic. The narrative stays on point. The end is also unfortunately a mirror of our society.
Thanks for a good read. Kudos.
Comment Written 07-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2023
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Thanks again for the six star review. I wish more people had read it, but it is what it is. I am glad it got some people thinking. estory
Comment from barbara.wilkey
You did an amazing job writing this. It does explain the issue from both sides of the problem. I saw it with my first graders as they aged.
we played one on one with my sisters watching, & I remember those one on one games after school, & For a minute he looked like he used to look when we played basketball one on one in the driveway at my house (one-on-one)
We used to say that his dad got lucky when he moved out to our block from the city, (you can omit 'that')
Both of grinning when they won the game. (Not sure why 'of' is in this sentence.)
hide-and-seek
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2023
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You did an amazing job writing this. It does explain the issue from both sides of the problem. I saw it with my first graders as they aged.
we played one on one with my sisters watching, & I remember those one on one games after school, & For a minute he looked like he used to look when we played basketball one on one in the driveway at my house (one-on-one)
We used to say that his dad got lucky when he moved out to our block from the city, (you can omit 'that')
Both of grinning when they won the game. (Not sure why 'of' is in this sentence.)
hide-and-seek
Comment Written 07-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2023
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Thanks for the excellent review and your comments and suggestions. It probably needs more of an edit, I was a bit in a rush when I posted it and didn't really proof read it. estory
Comment from Jasmine Girl
I do think we need police and we shouldn't get rid of police force but this is a complicated situation. I'm not a black person so I don't suffer like Andre does. But there were Chinese or Indian people who got beaten due to racial tension. This is a good story
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2023
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I do think we need police and we shouldn't get rid of police force but this is a complicated situation. I'm not a black person so I don't suffer like Andre does. But there were Chinese or Indian people who got beaten due to racial tension. This is a good story
Comment Written 07-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2023
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Thanks for the excellent review and for reading this piece. You are 100% right; this is complicated, and there are no easy answers, maybe no one real answer. But I wanted to ask the questions of where racism comes from and how can we, or if we can even, get out of it. I wanted to show a movement of two little kids who start out innocent and then get gradually changed by exposure to the world and society around them. estory
Comment from Sarah Das Gupta
This is a controversial subject unfortunately. This story is very fair in looking at the story from both sides. It shows how social pressures and politics cause racism. Small children often get on well!
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2023
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This is a controversial subject unfortunately. This story is very fair in looking at the story from both sides. It shows how social pressures and politics cause racism. Small children often get on well!
Comment Written 07-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2023
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Thanks for the good review and your perspective on the story. You seemed to have gotten my overall drift here and I am glad the story got some people thinking. estory
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Happy NEW YEAR!
