Comment from Jay Squires

Excellent

I like where you're taking this, Jim. You are showing both characters to be intelligent, witty, and with just a hint of vulnerability, beyond Abby's klutziness.

"Why do you love a mean cat?" [Why does he assume it's a cat?]

We talked some more about Eddie. [Some MORE about Eddie? I saw no indication they had talked about him previously.]

And even though I went around behind some bushes to change, he found an excuse to come back there and check me out." [That's kinda creepy! I'd be surprised that she'd have anything good to say about him. You could avoid that if you want to redeem him by having him shouting to her, "Do you want any help back there?" That would remove the taint that checking her out left.]

We made arrangements then to pick up the food and drinks at the deli downtown before going to the park. [I read this a couple of times, and I don't think it serves anything. Perhaps in the chapter when they actually go to the park.

This was a fun read. It was entertaining, and you left the reader with a feeling that there's more in the characters left to explore (I hope it's something not entirely wholesome.)

Jay

 Comment Written 03-Jan-2023

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reply by the author on 04-Jan-2023

Thank you for the good review, Jay, and I really appreciate your input. I agree that Eddie was being creepy and took your suggestion about his calling back to her instead. Much less creepy. I don't usually change what I've posted, only the draft I'm posting from, so you won't see any revisions if you were to look again.

Again, thanks so much for taking the time that you do to help me with this. Jim

Comment from prettybluebirds

Excellent

You are doing a marvelous job with this story. I read some of the previous chapters and thought I would continue reading to find out where you were going with this. Nice writing.

 Comment Written 03-Jan-2023

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reply by the author on 03-Jan-2023

Thank you so much! I hope I've got you hooked now.

Comment from royowen

Excellent

It sounds like the ideal date. Most of my early dates were double, I was late wining a car. But there were lots of girls when I was young, but there dads were far more watchful back then, very few liberal parents, beautifully written Jim, an excellent post, blessings Roy

 Comment Written 03-Jan-2023

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reply by the author on 03-Jan-2023

Thanks so much, Roy. You're right about the dads. Abby's folks have nothing to worry about with Kenny, though.

reply by royowen on 03-Jan-2023

Well done

Comment from jmdg1954

Excellent

Good chapter with Lester playing a big role... who wound'a thunk it.

Romance I anticipate to be in full swing next chapter.

Just one note and it's me not you... I'm a foodie so when a restaurant or deli are mentioned, I like to have something said about the food they ordered or ate. Like at Maudie's (I don't know the style) I would've included something that they enjoyed a plate of mussels marinara, pizza and a pitcher of cold beer.
Again, that's me...

Keep it going! Cheers. John

 Comment Written 03-Jan-2023

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reply by the author on 03-Jan-2023

You sound like a cat lover like me. Lester will have an even bigger role coming soon. Thanks for the suggestion about the food, John.

reply by jmdg1954 on 03-Jan-2023

No. Never had a cat. I always had dogs. Currently have three. It?s more like they have me.

reply by the author on 03-Jan-2023

I know what you mean. We always say that this is our cat's house. We just live here with him.

Comment from Kayte Ray

Excellent

This is a story. Your characters are complete and relatable. You have a good arc to the events you set out and the character interaction is very comfortable and easy to read. Nice Job

 Comment Written 03-Jan-2023

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reply by the author on 03-Jan-2023

Thank you so much, Kayte.