The Best Time of Ohmie's Life
Viewing comments for Chapter 35 "Best Time of Ohmie's Life, pt 35"Dying of cancer, Ohmie learns his parents are spie
10 total reviews
Comment from Susan Newell
Wayne,
As always, this was an interesting read and it is fun to get inside Ohmie's head. I'm wondering what else you have in store to wrap this up since the bad guy has been fouled. I didn't notice any typos.
Sue
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2023
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Wayne,
As always, this was an interesting read and it is fun to get inside Ohmie's head. I'm wondering what else you have in store to wrap this up since the bad guy has been fouled. I didn't notice any typos.
Sue
Comment Written 02-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2023
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Thank you. Stay tuned. Surprises ahead.
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Welcome. I suspect (expect?) as much.
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I'm good with either, I suppose (guess). smiley face here
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LOL
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
The thing I found missing her was some kind of conversation where Dad and Dortch hash out their feelings and reasons why it's come to this before Dortch is shot. I think the scene was rushed a little.
I'm not normally a fan of short sentences, but I think they work well here as they move the action along and keep the pace action-like.
He didn't realize his grandmother loved him? Must be his father's mother? It seems they both have trouble with emotions.
Dortch pitched his toward a birdbath thing (I would just leave it at birdbath, even a 13-year-old knows what one is)
You write that Ohmie "doesn't know why I wrote that since I hate writers speaking in cliches". Is Ohmie a writer now? I thought he was just a kid telling us an incredible story. The writing part sounds like the author bleeding into the character a little.
Happy new year to you and Ohmie - at least he made it into the new year:-)
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2023
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The thing I found missing her was some kind of conversation where Dad and Dortch hash out their feelings and reasons why it's come to this before Dortch is shot. I think the scene was rushed a little.
I'm not normally a fan of short sentences, but I think they work well here as they move the action along and keep the pace action-like.
He didn't realize his grandmother loved him? Must be his father's mother? It seems they both have trouble with emotions.
Dortch pitched his toward a birdbath thing (I would just leave it at birdbath, even a 13-year-old knows what one is)
You write that Ohmie "doesn't know why I wrote that since I hate writers speaking in cliches". Is Ohmie a writer now? I thought he was just a kid telling us an incredible story. The writing part sounds like the author bleeding into the character a little.
Happy new year to you and Ohmie - at least he made it into the new year:-)
Comment Written 02-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2023
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Wow! You don't miss much.
Thank you for the great review.
On an aside, we made it to Florida (10 day stay), but only as far as Destin this trip.
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Yikes! You probably had some cold weather:-( Let me know if you ever get to St. Augustine - I'll have lots of recommendations for you:-)
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Thanks. We will.
Yes the first couple days were chilly, but not as cold as home in Arkansas. We did manage to have several nice enough beach days.
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
Hi Wayne. A very Happy New year, with all the trimmings. I thought I wasn't up to more than that, but turned out this Ohmie read as a true short story was thrilling stuff. Well worth the ride. The only bit that left me confused was:
One of the cops was at Dortch on his shoulder microphone
That really threw me. K
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2023
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Hi Wayne. A very Happy New year, with all the trimmings. I thought I wasn't up to more than that, but turned out this Ohmie read as a true short story was thrilling stuff. Well worth the ride. The only bit that left me confused was:
One of the cops was at Dortch on his shoulder microphone
That really threw me. K
Comment Written 01-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2023
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Thank you.
I'll reword that sentence. Thanks.
And thank you for the six stars!
Comment from Wendy G
Very exciting, and Ohmie does so well in this very dramatic chapter. Very exciting and well written.
Wendy
First paragraph " just wrapped just about all the way around". Maybe leave out the first "just".
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2023
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Very exciting, and Ohmie does so well in this very dramatic chapter. Very exciting and well written.
Wendy
First paragraph " just wrapped just about all the way around". Maybe leave out the first "just".
Comment Written 01-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2023
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Thank you for the very nice review.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Ohmie somehow always gets it right even when he seems to have done the wrong thing. He also seems to feel better than he had for a long time, but saving your family can do that for you. I'm looking forward to more of his adventures.
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2023
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Ohmie somehow always gets it right even when he seems to have done the wrong thing. He also seems to feel better than he had for a long time, but saving your family can do that for you. I'm looking forward to more of his adventures.
Comment Written 01-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2023
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Thank you for your great review.
Comment from karenina
Ohmie is an incredible mash-up of a terminally ill wise-cracking thirteen-year-old and semi-superhero who I can't help but think is brave beyond years and logical in part because he feels he has no reason not to lay his life on his line for his loved ones. This is a great chapter, and somehow your little "asides" such as:
"Dad and I wanted to bring Mom up to speed. I don't know why I wrote that, since I detest writers speaking in clichés."
How do you manage to do that and NOT take me out of the story?
Skill!
Karenina
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2023
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Ohmie is an incredible mash-up of a terminally ill wise-cracking thirteen-year-old and semi-superhero who I can't help but think is brave beyond years and logical in part because he feels he has no reason not to lay his life on his line for his loved ones. This is a great chapter, and somehow your little "asides" such as:
"Dad and I wanted to bring Mom up to speed. I don't know why I wrote that, since I detest writers speaking in clichés."
How do you manage to do that and NOT take me out of the story?
Skill!
Karenina
Comment Written 01-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2023
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Hah! Thank you.
My wife is looking for a pin to deflate my swollen head! (smiley face here)
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Wives are great at deflating egos....lovingly!
Comment from Ricky1024
This was interesting and well written.
Rich in Theme and imagery.
I enjoyed it as it, read well, flowed well, with no grammar issues.
The Adjective and Objective contents were both Excellent Exceptional, while Descriptive Measures aligned most Perfectly.
Doctor Ricky 1024.
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2023
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This was interesting and well written.
Rich in Theme and imagery.
I enjoyed it as it, read well, flowed well, with no grammar issues.
The Adjective and Objective contents were both Excellent Exceptional, while Descriptive Measures aligned most Perfectly.
Doctor Ricky 1024.
Comment Written 01-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2023
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Thank you for your very nice review.
Comment from Sarah Das Gupta
Full of action and tension! As the narrator is thirteen year old Ohmie, the language is carefully chosen and conveys both his courage and at times his innocence. It is appropriate that it is Ohmie who saves his father's life.
We are reminded of his age by his endearing reference to how his grandmother cooks eggs. He is a great character!
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2023
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Full of action and tension! As the narrator is thirteen year old Ohmie, the language is carefully chosen and conveys both his courage and at times his innocence. It is appropriate that it is Ohmie who saves his father's life.
We are reminded of his age by his endearing reference to how his grandmother cooks eggs. He is a great character!
Comment Written 01-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2023
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Thank you for your very uplifting review.
Comment from Rebecca Roberts1
I was a little leery about jumping in the middle of a book without knowing anything. But I thought, "Well if it's well written, it won't matter."
So I did and I got it.
I thought maybe it moved a little too fast from the shooting to the healing. I guess I like to get inside people's heads some.
Action-packed.
Good job.
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2023
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I was a little leery about jumping in the middle of a book without knowing anything. But I thought, "Well if it's well written, it won't matter."
So I did and I got it.
I thought maybe it moved a little too fast from the shooting to the healing. I guess I like to get inside people's heads some.
Action-packed.
Good job.
Comment Written 01-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2023
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Thank you.
Unfortunately, this is ch 35 of 38.
Also, it's 1st person told by a 13 yr old who is in stage 4 lymphoma- only one head to get into, and he's a dying child.
If you are curious, just reading ch 1 would give a pretty good picture of the whole story.
Comment from JT traveller
Nice words. Everyday, common conversations. It is good but far from superlative. Put a little of your own soul into your prose. It is nonsensical and not grammatically correct. I take it English is not your first language. Thankyou for sharing your writing.
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2023
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Nice words. Everyday, common conversations. It is good but far from superlative. Put a little of your own soul into your prose. It is nonsensical and not grammatically correct. I take it English is not your first language. Thankyou for sharing your writing.
Comment Written 01-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2023
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Thanks.
The book is narrated (1st person) by a 13 yr old who is in stage 4 lymphoma. This is 35 of 38.
