Haiku(complete stillness)
a haiku33 total reviews
Comment from Bill Schott
This 5-7-5, Complete Stillness, has the proper formatting and takes the readers into the wintry deep where life is silent and buried beneath the frozen moisture.
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2023
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This 5-7-5, Complete Stillness, has the proper formatting and takes the readers into the wintry deep where life is silent and buried beneath the frozen moisture.
Comment Written 01-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2023
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Thank you very much, Bill!!
Melissa
Comment from Faith Williams
Such a lovely ambience with your poem. I feel like I'm out for a walk on a crisp winter's day where the only sound is the crunch of snow underneath my feet. Thanks so much for sharing. May your New Year be filled with love and laughter!
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2023
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Such a lovely ambience with your poem. I feel like I'm out for a walk on a crisp winter's day where the only sound is the crunch of snow underneath my feet. Thanks so much for sharing. May your New Year be filled with love and laughter!
Comment Written 01-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2023
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Thank you so very much, Faith!
Melissa
Comment from Aussie
Wish I had a six but alas ****** virtual stars tonite. Three little lines aptly describe the deep winter. So many hikers lost would have experienced this bitter stillness before cold stopped their heart beating.
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2023
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Wish I had a six but alas ****** virtual stars tonite. Three little lines aptly describe the deep winter. So many hikers lost would have experienced this bitter stillness before cold stopped their heart beating.
Comment Written 01-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2023
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Thank you Kay. I am delighted that you liked it :). Hugs.
Melissa
Comment from Goodadvicechan
It looks like a nice Xmas card. Your poem follows the rule. You describe the winter cold weather well.
I live in NYC. It is cold here although not as icy cold as Buffalo. On a cold weather day, the streets are empty and silent.
Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2023
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It looks like a nice Xmas card. Your poem follows the rule. You describe the winter cold weather well.
I live in NYC. It is cold here although not as icy cold as Buffalo. On a cold weather day, the streets are empty and silent.
Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 01-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2023
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Thank you for your wonderful review. Here in Virginia, we have had a cold snap, but we're back to normal... mid 50s... stay safe!!
Melissa
Comment from JT traveller
Very well composed. Beautiful choice of words. I can sense the care and attention you took in choosing each and every word. Delightful. Thankyou for sharing.
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2023
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Very well composed. Beautiful choice of words. I can sense the care and attention you took in choosing each and every word. Delightful. Thankyou for sharing.
Comment Written 31-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2023
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Thank you very much!! I really appreciate your lovely review.
Melissa
Comment from susand3022
Hello Author,
That picture is lovely! So is the haiku that goes with it!
I keep seeing the same error in these haikus. You will want to change the capital letter in the title of your 'Haiku' to a small 'h' as the capital rule extends to the title also.
The other thing is to remove the (...) at the end of the second line. It's extra punctuation that isn't acceptable in a haiku.
I'm not sure if you did it for the pause, or the centering aspect so it will make the center line look longer, but don't worry about those things.
This is a haiku that can stand on its own. It's a great reflection of the picture above.
Good luck with the contest!
Happy New Year!
Susan :)
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2022
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Hello Author,
That picture is lovely! So is the haiku that goes with it!
I keep seeing the same error in these haikus. You will want to change the capital letter in the title of your 'Haiku' to a small 'h' as the capital rule extends to the title also.
The other thing is to remove the (...) at the end of the second line. It's extra punctuation that isn't acceptable in a haiku.
I'm not sure if you did it for the pause, or the centering aspect so it will make the center line look longer, but don't worry about those things.
This is a haiku that can stand on its own. It's a great reflection of the picture above.
Good luck with the contest!
Happy New Year!
Susan :)
Comment Written 31-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2022
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Thank you Susan. I will edit the piece after the contest is over. I really appreciate your words and suggestions!!
Comment from miajaffri
You have found a perfect picture for your poem depicting stillness.
I like the words ....stillness blankets bitter cold and where deep winter dwells.
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2022
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You have found a perfect picture for your poem depicting stillness.
I like the words ....stillness blankets bitter cold and where deep winter dwells.
Comment Written 31-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2022
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Thank you so very much!
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You are welcome.
Comment from LJbutterfly
Your artwork paired with your well chosen words deliver rich imagery helping the reader to envision a cold winter evening. This is a perfect Haiku for the contest. Best wishes.
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2022
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Your artwork paired with your well chosen words deliver rich imagery helping the reader to envision a cold winter evening. This is a perfect Haiku for the contest. Best wishes.
Comment Written 31-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2022
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Thank you so much!
Comment from Jesse James Doty
You chose your words well in this seasonal Haiku. This speaks to the coldness of winter and the deep silence that winter brings to the blankets of snow all over the ground. I love this picture that represents the words so eloquently in this excellent poem.
Good luck in the contest!
Jesse
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2022
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You chose your words well in this seasonal Haiku. This speaks to the coldness of winter and the deep silence that winter brings to the blankets of snow all over the ground. I love this picture that represents the words so eloquently in this excellent poem.
Good luck in the contest!
Jesse
Comment Written 31-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2022
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Thank you very much, Jesse.
Comment from Jim Wile
Excellent job on this winter season haiku. You've beautifully captured the mood of a frigid winter scene. I almost feel like I was there with just these few simple words. Well done. Perfect artwork too.
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2022
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Excellent job on this winter season haiku. You've beautifully captured the mood of a frigid winter scene. I almost feel like I was there with just these few simple words. Well done. Perfect artwork too.
Comment Written 31-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2022
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Thank you very much, Jim.
