Take This Pain Away
Healing from all this pain.29 total reviews
Comment from jmdg1954
The sounds of a deeply maligned individual who seem to have tried everything to relieve his pains. Can someone really go through each of those points unsuccessfully?
Well presented. John
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The sounds of a deeply maligned individual who seem to have tried everything to relieve his pains. Can someone really go through each of those points unsuccessfully?
Well presented. John
Comment Written 23-Dec-2022
Comment from Moonbeams Musings 55
If I had 6 stars left I would definitely give them to you. What a powerful message in your words. Very well written. Thank you for .sharing
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If I had 6 stars left I would definitely give them to you. What a powerful message in your words. Very well written. Thank you for .sharing
Comment Written 23-Dec-2022
Comment from Mariana Convery
So very sad. Addiction is a terrible disease. Unfortunately, the narrator's feeling of being a black sheep doesn't help much. If only family could help, but oftentimes their good intentions do more harm than good, especially the preaching. The meter and rhythm is well done. There were a few typos, like using "to" instead of "too" in the 23rd stanza. Everyday is used as an adjective, otherwise use " every day." It's a deep theme and all too real. Nice job.
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So very sad. Addiction is a terrible disease. Unfortunately, the narrator's feeling of being a black sheep doesn't help much. If only family could help, but oftentimes their good intentions do more harm than good, especially the preaching. The meter and rhythm is well done. There were a few typos, like using "to" instead of "too" in the 23rd stanza. Everyday is used as an adjective, otherwise use " every day." It's a deep theme and all too real. Nice job.
Comment Written 23-Dec-2022
Comment from Thesis
Quite a revealing poem about the struggles you've encountered. It screams for help to change the actions and decisions made to rectify or release the pain and suffering you've endured in your journey. All the situations you've described are difficult to overcome as single issues, but collectively, seem insurmountable. I'm glad you are sharing your story. It can help someone going through the same situations.
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Quite a revealing poem about the struggles you've encountered. It screams for help to change the actions and decisions made to rectify or release the pain and suffering you've endured in your journey. All the situations you've described are difficult to overcome as single issues, but collectively, seem insurmountable. I'm glad you are sharing your story. It can help someone going through the same situations.
Comment Written 23-Dec-2022
Comment from Boogienights
This poem made me feel sad for you, the words were so raw and real, I wonder if this was your experience. I hop not, but this powerful poem made me feel much emotion. Thank you for sharing.
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This poem made me feel sad for you, the words were so raw and real, I wonder if this was your experience. I hop not, but this powerful poem made me feel much emotion. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 23-Dec-2022
Comment from Jim Wile
This is a sad poem, and I sincerely hope you are not experiencing the kind of pain portrayed here. But it does sound like "the poetic voice of the streets" might be the answer to avoiding or eliminating the pain. I like how you inserted that line near the beginning, then again at the end.
This poem reminded me of a rap with all the rhyming but free-form. Nice job.
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This is a sad poem, and I sincerely hope you are not experiencing the kind of pain portrayed here. But it does sound like "the poetic voice of the streets" might be the answer to avoiding or eliminating the pain. I like how you inserted that line near the beginning, then again at the end.
This poem reminded me of a rap with all the rhyming but free-form. Nice job.
Comment Written 23-Dec-2022
Comment from Kaiku
I feel your pain. Are you familiar with Ricky1024 He is in a similar battle. I have a family member who suffers each and every day. Writing is a great outlet and offers a unique perspective that is yours. I firmly believe that when writing transitions away from the pain and anguish, it opens the door to a brighter outlook. Congrats on Post 50 and good luck.
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I feel your pain. Are you familiar with Ricky1024 He is in a similar battle. I have a family member who suffers each and every day. Writing is a great outlet and offers a unique perspective that is yours. I firmly believe that when writing transitions away from the pain and anguish, it opens the door to a brighter outlook. Congrats on Post 50 and good luck.
Comment Written 23-Dec-2022
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Good poem and presentation. The rhymes sound forced and the repetion of endong words is repetitious. I would go through and read it ..outlook.... maybe finding different synonyms.
Good luck in your writing.
Gypsy
"The poet waits quietly to paint the unsaid." - Atticus
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Good poem and presentation. The rhymes sound forced and the repetion of endong words is repetitious. I would go through and read it ..outlook.... maybe finding different synonyms.
Good luck in your writing.
Gypsy
"The poet waits quietly to paint the unsaid." - Atticus
Comment Written 23-Dec-2022
Comment from Teri7
Charity, This is a very well written poem you have penned from your heart about the pain that just won't go away. You used very good descriptive words and the art work you chose is perfect to go with your words. love and blessings, Teri
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Charity, This is a very well written poem you have penned from your heart about the pain that just won't go away. You used very good descriptive words and the art work you chose is perfect to go with your words. love and blessings, Teri
Comment Written 23-Dec-2022
Comment from Ricky1024
This was very deep and it takes us through the many different stages of your pain.
Well written rich in theme and Imagery.
It also, read well and flowed well with no Grammar Issues.
Thanks for sharing this and have a Blessed Christmas.
Doctor Ricky1024
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This was very deep and it takes us through the many different stages of your pain.
Well written rich in theme and Imagery.
It also, read well and flowed well with no Grammar Issues.
Thanks for sharing this and have a Blessed Christmas.
Doctor Ricky1024
Comment Written 23-Dec-2022
