Not Your Regular Folksong
Rewrite of Down in the Valley9 total reviews
Comment from Anne Johnston
You did very well on this poem based on a familiar song. I love the verse:
"No need to stay down here
And suffer alone.
Look up to the Father.
Your sadness He's known."
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2022
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You did very well on this poem based on a familiar song. I love the verse:
"No need to stay down here
And suffer alone.
Look up to the Father.
Your sadness He's known."
Comment Written 15-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2022
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Thank you very much, Anne. I appreciate your comments.
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You are welcome, Verna
Comment from royowen
I remember that song from my youth, when the feet of youth were still swift and the association with sorrow weren't quite there yet, but this is a brilliant rewriting of the song, and could be sung to the original quite easily. Well done, a great entry in the contest, well done, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2022
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I remember that song from my youth, when the feet of youth were still swift and the association with sorrow weren't quite there yet, but this is a brilliant rewriting of the song, and could be sung to the original quite easily. Well done, a great entry in the contest, well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 15-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2022
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Thank you so much for a great review, my friend.
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Most welcome
Comment from Dr. Von
Your rewrite of this old song is well done. It is no longer a sad heartbreaking ballad. You have written an encouraging slant that gives hope to all who read and sing it. Thank you for sharing your talent.
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2022
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Your rewrite of this old song is well done. It is no longer a sad heartbreaking ballad. You have written an encouraging slant that gives hope to all who read and sing it. Thank you for sharing your talent.
Comment Written 15-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2022
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Thank you very much for a lovely review, Dr. Von.
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You are welcome, Verna.
Comment from karenina
Every verse is great. The song is familiar to most, but please consider including the original -- I see Jan has posted directions on how to do that.
In these troubles times this really reached me:
"No need to stay down here
And suffer alone.
Look up to the Father.
Your sadness He's known.
His eye's been upon you.
He's watched as you grieved.
He longs to draw near you,
Your sorrow relieve."
What we offer in faith, in faith we will receive...
(Pretty sure I just made that up but if someone else said it first, all respect to them!)
Karenina
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2022
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Every verse is great. The song is familiar to most, but please consider including the original -- I see Jan has posted directions on how to do that.
In these troubles times this really reached me:
"No need to stay down here
And suffer alone.
Look up to the Father.
Your sadness He's known.
His eye's been upon you.
He's watched as you grieved.
He longs to draw near you,
Your sorrow relieve."
What we offer in faith, in faith we will receive...
(Pretty sure I just made that up but if someone else said it first, all respect to them!)
Karenina
Comment Written 13-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2022
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Thanks, Karenina, for a great review. I'll see if I can find Jan's instructions. And I have not heard that said about faith. Great thought.
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I cut and pasted her instructions below...
These are Jans!
All credit is due her!
"Type in browser song & artist (if you know artist)
ex--White Christmas by Bing Crosby
Right click
Look over list--pick the 1 you want--right click
Where the picture shows, start video playing
Scroll down a bit and Right click where is says
'Copy embed code' {don't worry about all those numbers etc.
Go to your edit page of the work you want video in Advanced Editor--scroll to Author Notes
Right click where you want it to show [don't worry about those numbers etc.]
Then SAVE
THEN go back and look at it. You should see the video
[After a couple times practicing, you'll be a pro--practice on a disabled work]]"
Hope it works!--Karenina
Comment from BethShelby
This is a lovely poem or song. I guess it can be sung to the tune of Down in the Valley. You have incorporated some great advice in this song for what to do when you've feeling discouraged.
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2022
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This is a lovely poem or song. I guess it can be sung to the tune of Down in the Valley. You have incorporated some great advice in this song for what to do when you've feeling discouraged.
Comment Written 13-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2022
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Thank you so much, Beth.
Comment from Ricky1024
This is Rewrite A Song Contest entry rich in Theme and Imagery.
It also, read well and Flowed well with No Grammar Issues.
The Adjective and Objective Contents were both Excellent and Exceptional while Descriptive Measures Aligned most Perfectly.
Good luck with your contest entry.
Doctor Ricky1024
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2022
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This is Rewrite A Song Contest entry rich in Theme and Imagery.
It also, read well and Flowed well with No Grammar Issues.
The Adjective and Objective Contents were both Excellent and Exceptional while Descriptive Measures Aligned most Perfectly.
Good luck with your contest entry.
Doctor Ricky1024
Comment Written 12-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2022
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Thank you, Doctor Ricky, very much.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
I enjoyed the sentiments here, although I am not familiar with the song, well chosen rhymes and I loved the rhythm too, I wish you luck with the contest, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2022
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I enjoyed the sentiments here, although I am not familiar with the song, well chosen rhymes and I loved the rhythm too, I wish you luck with the contest, love Dolly x
Comment Written 11-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2022
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Thanks, sweet Dolly, for the review. I'm not clever at using technology, but it is an old American folksong.
Comment from Sarah Das Gupta
The form and rhyming scheme are well-controlled and the words seem to fit the tune. The poet has chosen words of faith and the poem has similarities to a hymn!
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2022
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The form and rhyming scheme are well-controlled and the words seem to fit the tune. The poet has chosen words of faith and the poem has similarities to a hymn!
Comment Written 11-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2022
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Thank you very much for a well-thought-out review.
Comment from Pam (respa)
-You did a really good job with your re-working of "Down in the Valley."
-I like the image you chose, as well. I could follow your lyrics and they flowed very well with good images and excellent rhyme.
-I like how you included questions, too.
-I like these lines:
"You're out of the sunshine,
And shadows live here."
-A very good concluding verse, too.
-A very good entry; good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2022
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-You did a really good job with your re-working of "Down in the Valley."
-I like the image you chose, as well. I could follow your lyrics and they flowed very well with good images and excellent rhyme.
-I like how you included questions, too.
-I like these lines:
"You're out of the sunshine,
And shadows live here."
-A very good concluding verse, too.
-A very good entry; good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 11-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2022
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thank you very much for an excellent review.
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You are very welcome.