Troy
Short rhyme with an Odyssey reference7 total reviews
Comment from amahra
I liked the poem, especially for its unusual rhyming scheme. I also liked the triple 'me' at the end of the lines in the first stanza.
With the snap of a wrist,
I sent them running backwards back to their ships, [Like this fun image.]
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2022
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I liked the poem, especially for its unusual rhyming scheme. I also liked the triple 'me' at the end of the lines in the first stanza.
With the snap of a wrist,
I sent them running backwards back to their ships, [Like this fun image.]
Comment Written 03-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2022
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Thanks
Comment from John Ciarmello
While I did enjoy what's behind this poem, your choice of words jolted me out of a few stanzas. I think with a bit more polish, this will be great! Best, JohnC
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2022
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While I did enjoy what's behind this poem, your choice of words jolted me out of a few stanzas. I think with a bit more polish, this will be great! Best, JohnC
Comment Written 03-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2022
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Thanks
Comment from Bill Schott
This poem, Troy, has pieces of The Iliad and a bit of The Odyssey as it concerns Odysseus. I see it is a fun look at these bits through the eyes of a satirical character.
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2022
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This poem, Troy, has pieces of The Iliad and a bit of The Odyssey as it concerns Odysseus. I see it is a fun look at these bits through the eyes of a satirical character.
Comment Written 03-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2022
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Thank you
Comment from Carlos' girl
This is a catchy little poem with a fun metre and clever rhyme. I would edit it to use the word pissed less often though since it is a bit redundant and loses it's impact
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2022
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This is a catchy little poem with a fun metre and clever rhyme. I would edit it to use the word pissed less often though since it is a bit redundant and loses it's impact
Comment Written 03-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2022
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Thanks for the advice
Comment from Sarah Das Gupta
This is a difficult task. Perhaps you have made if more difficult by choosing to adopt an ironic tone. You need to proof read and edit carefully
to eliminate errors e.g 'probably', they're ( not 'their') Gods(plural);
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2022
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This is a difficult task. Perhaps you have made if more difficult by choosing to adopt an ironic tone. You need to proof read and edit carefully
to eliminate errors e.g 'probably', they're ( not 'their') Gods(plural);
Comment Written 03-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2022
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I wrote it how It reads
Comment from kahpot
What an intriguing read, I read this a few times because I thoroughly enjoyed it and wanted to understand, I did get a couple of mixed messages in my first read, the first five lines I still not sure I understand, I may need some help here, "I'm failing my boy" I'll mail her a toy" this is how poetry should be it gets the reader to decide for themselves, very well done****kahpot
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2022
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What an intriguing read, I read this a few times because I thoroughly enjoyed it and wanted to understand, I did get a couple of mixed messages in my first read, the first five lines I still not sure I understand, I may need some help here, "I'm failing my boy" I'll mail her a toy" this is how poetry should be it gets the reader to decide for themselves, very well done****kahpot
Comment Written 03-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2022
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Thanks...
Comment from prettybluebirds
Your poem is skillfully written and a delight to read. I'm not a poet, but I know if a poem sounds good to me, and this one does. It has a nice rhythm to it, and the choice of words is unique.
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2022
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Your poem is skillfully written and a delight to read. I'm not a poet, but I know if a poem sounds good to me, and this one does. It has a nice rhythm to it, and the choice of words is unique.
Comment Written 02-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2022
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Thanks I just added to it right now go check it out
