Spiritually Guided?
Flash Fiction: Was I ...14 total reviews
Comment from GARY MACLEAN
It's a cold, lonely living, on the road, making sales of any product. Some of us can handle it, others - not so much.
P1s10: I don't know but is (hangry) a mash up of (hungry) and (angry)?
P6s3: Insert (would) between (they) and (forget)
P9s10: (atteendance) should be (attendance) spelling
Your story was plain and rather monotonous throughout until your revelation in the last paragraph. That brought it all together and turned the lights on. Then everything else fell in place. Very well done. Nicely timed and presented. Quite the testimony.
A six-star in my book any time.
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2022
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It's a cold, lonely living, on the road, making sales of any product. Some of us can handle it, others - not so much.
P1s10: I don't know but is (hangry) a mash up of (hungry) and (angry)?
P6s3: Insert (would) between (they) and (forget)
P9s10: (atteendance) should be (attendance) spelling
Your story was plain and rather monotonous throughout until your revelation in the last paragraph. That brought it all together and turned the lights on. Then everything else fell in place. Very well done. Nicely timed and presented. Quite the testimony.
A six-star in my book any time.
Comment Written 29-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2022
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Yes, hangry is as you ascribe. and "would" has been added, and attendance corrected. Thanks for the suggestions.
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Great, I love the "hangry" thing. I get that way quite often LOL I'm going to use that word from now on.
Comment from nor84
A flash fiction contest is about fiction, a made-up story. This reads like nonfiction, but if it isn't, you probably should put something in your author notes to alert readers that it is fiction. If you don't, it may get disqualified as nonfiction entered in a flash fiction contest.
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2022
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A flash fiction contest is about fiction, a made-up story. This reads like nonfiction, but if it isn't, you probably should put something in your author notes to alert readers that it is fiction. If you don't, it may get disqualified as nonfiction entered in a flash fiction contest.
Comment Written 29-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2022
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A friend in need is a friend indeed. I'll add a side note. Thank you.
Comment from Wendy G
It's a fine story, Tom and well written, but as it is meant to be "Flash Fiction" you might just change the names and make sure you've entered it as fiction. I was disqualified once for a flash fiction which was not fiction.
Best wishes for your story,
Wendy
Typo: last line - "attendance"
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reply by the author on 29-Nov-2022
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It's a fine story, Tom and well written, but as it is meant to be "Flash Fiction" you might just change the names and make sure you've entered it as fiction. I was disqualified once for a flash fiction which was not fiction.
Best wishes for your story,
Wendy
Typo: last line - "attendance"
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 29-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2022
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A friend in need is a friend indeed. I'll add a side note and bandage it to a time far gone. Thank you.
Comment from Jay Squires
Fascinating story of your road to faith. I wish it could have been longer since the reader would have liked to experience the dramatization of your conversion, rather than a summary of it. However, I do know the problems with a word limit.
One thing I noticed as I read:
so he wouldn't go home hangry. [My guess is he's either hungry or angry ... but not a combination of the two.]
Good luck with the contest.
Jay
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2022
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Fascinating story of your road to faith. I wish it could have been longer since the reader would have liked to experience the dramatization of your conversion, rather than a summary of it. However, I do know the problems with a word limit.
One thing I noticed as I read:
so he wouldn't go home hangry. [My guess is he's either hungry or angry ... but not a combination of the two.]
Good luck with the contest.
Jay
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 28-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2022
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Thanks. Hangry is a word used today but would not have been in the thirties. Let me amend it to read hungry or angry.
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Well, the main thing is that it was intentional. I thought I was being so cutesy!
