Breathe In #66
A poem about anxiety.2 total reviews
Comment from Karyn2
Anxiety does feel this way. It clutches and enables. I love the image of the ivy you have used to capture this. A few words or phrases I feel could be strengthened like "thick" and "muddle". Perhaps lungs are heavy, tight, trapped? Stomach could be twisted, knotted which could link back in to the ivy imagery. Love your theme and message with a few improvements and poetic devices this could be amazing!
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Anxiety does feel this way. It clutches and enables. I love the image of the ivy you have used to capture this. A few words or phrases I feel could be strengthened like "thick" and "muddle". Perhaps lungs are heavy, tight, trapped? Stomach could be twisted, knotted which could link back in to the ivy imagery. Love your theme and message with a few improvements and poetic devices this could be amazing!
Comment Written 28-Nov-2022
Comment from Sandra Nelms-Ludwig
This is a good poem. The text is an okay size. The message reads like a mantra for relaxation. I can see how repeating these words could slowly make one relax. My only suggestions is to drop the first line of the text down one space, and perhaps make the text a calming blue hue from the visual. The visual fits well. Thanks for sharing.
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This is a good poem. The text is an okay size. The message reads like a mantra for relaxation. I can see how repeating these words could slowly make one relax. My only suggestions is to drop the first line of the text down one space, and perhaps make the text a calming blue hue from the visual. The visual fits well. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 28-Nov-2022
