Dreams of Running
My future awaits51 total reviews
Comment from Wendy G
Good for you Jesse. You have big dreams and have expressed them well in your poem. Keep working towards your goals and they will be accomplished. Best wishes.
Wendy
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Good for you Jesse. You have big dreams and have expressed them well in your poem. Keep working towards your goals and they will be accomplished. Best wishes.
Wendy
Comment Written 26-Nov-2022
Comment from MissMerri
This is a marvelous poem full of strong images, emotional language and a triumphant feel that moves the reader to want to clap her hands as if at the final curtain of a magnificent concert. I loved this poem!
(My only suggestion would be to remove the 's' from the word "guards.")
This is such a delight in every way! I'm glad I still had a six to give it. ;p
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2022
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This is a marvelous poem full of strong images, emotional language and a triumphant feel that moves the reader to want to clap her hands as if at the final curtain of a magnificent concert. I loved this poem!
(My only suggestion would be to remove the 's' from the word "guards.")
This is such a delight in every way! I'm glad I still had a six to give it. ;p
Comment Written 26-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2022
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Wow, Adonna. This is such a wonderful review full of descriptions of clapping your hands as if at the final curtain of a Magnificent concert. I hope to live up to your review and walk and then run as fast and as far as I can so that you and your support will be by the sidelines rooting for me.
I am so glad to receive this extra star from you and you are such a talented poet so the image of your caring kindness comes through in living colors.
Jesse
Comment from Dawn Munro
"...Carrying extra potent shields
That guard(s) me as I run along..." delete the "s" -- "shields" is plural
May your dreams become reality, my friend. :)
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"...Carrying extra potent shields
That guard(s) me as I run along..." delete the "s" -- "shields" is plural
May your dreams become reality, my friend. :)
Comment Written 26-Nov-2022
Comment from JPGeo
This verse has a spiritual quality to it. I feel the congregation swaying and singing together with arms raised. You better get your PF Flyers on buddy.
Cheers,
John
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2022
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This verse has a spiritual quality to it. I feel the congregation swaying and singing together with arms raised. You better get your PF Flyers on buddy.
Cheers,
John
Comment Written 26-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2022
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I love your description of the congregation swaying and singing together arms raised. I will definitely get my PF flyers on and fly and run all I am able to do with the help of my support team. Thanks for the extra star oh buddy!
Jesse
Comment from Spitfire
Excellent couplets that record a dream so many of us in our senior years have. I too would sing a triumphant song if I could soar above the ground. I especially liked your alliteration of 'r' in the last two lines.
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Excellent couplets that record a dream so many of us in our senior years have. I too would sing a triumphant song if I could soar above the ground. I especially liked your alliteration of 'r' in the last two lines.
Comment Written 26-Nov-2022
Comment from Frank Malley
"Dreams of Running" is a cognitive attempt to capture dreaming. And dreaming is, of course, a great font of literature and discourse. The events of dreams can be enthralling (that word comes from something that amounts to enslaving), and many of us have awoken to disappointment in losing the more satisfying place we had moments before occupied. In this poem, it is suggested that the narrator actually captures his dream; at once, how lovely and strange.
This poem is written in the strong trochaic tetrameter, but its expression is gentled by susurrant rhymes and sounds.
A correction is needed, I think, for line 10: it should be 'guard me.'
This is an excellent poem, but it lacks the comparisons - metaphors and similes - that might have made it exceptional. I realize that this is an unwieldy suggestion, but I think that the mention of particularities, from mundane to stunning, exalt a poem.
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"Dreams of Running" is a cognitive attempt to capture dreaming. And dreaming is, of course, a great font of literature and discourse. The events of dreams can be enthralling (that word comes from something that amounts to enslaving), and many of us have awoken to disappointment in losing the more satisfying place we had moments before occupied. In this poem, it is suggested that the narrator actually captures his dream; at once, how lovely and strange.
This poem is written in the strong trochaic tetrameter, but its expression is gentled by susurrant rhymes and sounds.
A correction is needed, I think, for line 10: it should be 'guard me.'
This is an excellent poem, but it lacks the comparisons - metaphors and similes - that might have made it exceptional. I realize that this is an unwieldy suggestion, but I think that the mention of particularities, from mundane to stunning, exalt a poem.
Comment Written 26-Nov-2022
Comment from Mrs. KT
Kudos, Jesse!
And how I truly believe you will "reach the finish line" by "running as fast as I can as far as I can!"
Love and admire you positivity!
One small edit:
Carrying extra potent shields
That guards (guard)
Thank you for sharing!
"Keep on truckin'"
diane
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2022
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Kudos, Jesse!
And how I truly believe you will "reach the finish line" by "running as fast as I can as far as I can!"
Love and admire you positivity!
One small edit:
Carrying extra potent shields
That guards (guard)
Thank you for sharing!
"Keep on truckin'"
diane
Comment Written 26-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2022
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Thanks, Diane, for being the first one to review my post. I haven't had the time to get back to you but I wanted to say I love your positivity as well and I appreciate your support. I will keep on truckin' as long as I am able to carry on.
Have a happy Sunday!
Jesse
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
You did a great job with your meaningful poem,
Jesse. I enjoyed reading it. I liked the smooth flow
and rhymes. You expressed your thoughts and feelings
well. I believe with your positive attitude your dream will
become reality.
Thanks for sharing, Jan
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2022
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You did a great job with your meaningful poem,
Jesse. I enjoyed reading it. I liked the smooth flow
and rhymes. You expressed your thoughts and feelings
well. I believe with your positive attitude your dream will
become reality.
Thanks for sharing, Jan
Comment Written 26-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2022
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Thanks, Jan, for your encouraging review. I will do it and it will be soon. I hope to achieve this dream of mine of walking and then running full throttle.
Jesse
Comment from LateBloomer
Hi Jesse, what a heartfelt dream and wonderful goal. You've been through so much, and now the reward is just before your eyes, albeit hard an difficult. Your poem reads and flows well and has good imagery within.
Of special note:
Wearing shoes with special powers
Uplifting me for hours and hours
Running through the grassy fields
(Oh, "What a feeling" ~ Flash Dance.)
Well done; well said. Keep on dreaming. Margaret ~ LateBloomer
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2022
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Hi Jesse, what a heartfelt dream and wonderful goal. You've been through so much, and now the reward is just before your eyes, albeit hard an difficult. Your poem reads and flows well and has good imagery within.
Of special note:
Wearing shoes with special powers
Uplifting me for hours and hours
Running through the grassy fields
(Oh, "What a feeling" ~ Flash Dance.)
Well done; well said. Keep on dreaming. Margaret ~ LateBloomer
Comment Written 26-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2022
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Thanks for your encouraging and uplifting review. I love how you choose the part that strikes you the most. And by the way, Irene Cara died yesterday she was the singer of the song "What a feeling." Thank you for your kind comments and yes, I will keep on dreaming.
Jesse
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Jesse, I didn't know that Irene Cara died. Using a quote from her song was timely. Margaret ~ LateBloomer
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Yes. Incredibly timely.
Jesse
Comment from LJbutterfly
Oh what a b e a u t i f u l dream. If you can dream it, that means you can see it. If you can see it, that means you can have it. Dream large, my friend. Fly, and never look down or look back. Your future has already begun. Run.
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2022
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Oh what a b e a u t i f u l dream. If you can dream it, that means you can see it. If you can see it, that means you can have it. Dream large, my friend. Fly, and never look down or look back. Your future has already begun. Run.
Comment Written 26-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2022
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Thank you for this poetic and inspiring review. I am impressed with your style and grace. I will keep on dreaming and doing it large. Thanks for all of this encouragement.
Jesse
