Black Phantom Shadows
A street opera in the key of C.21 total reviews
Comment from Ulla
Hi Eavy, you take us through a whole range of emotions and I like that a lot. You do that so very well. I'm happy to have read two of your poems today. One is so different from y other. Ulla:)))
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Hi Eavy, you take us through a whole range of emotions and I like that a lot. You do that so very well. I'm happy to have read two of your poems today. One is so different from y other. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 23-Nov-2022
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I'm pleased I got to read two of your poems on the same day. I am blessed. Thank you for sharing this very descriptive poem about what is seen on city streets. I have a feeling all city streets are pretty much the same. I enjoyed reading.
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I'm pleased I got to read two of your poems on the same day. I am blessed. Thank you for sharing this very descriptive poem about what is seen on city streets. I have a feeling all city streets are pretty much the same. I enjoyed reading.
Comment Written 23-Nov-2022
Comment from Bill Schott
This poem, Black Phantom Shadows, immerses the readers in the streets of the city with all the denizens who lie around, creep around, dance around, or just remain living in a crazy environment.
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This poem, Black Phantom Shadows, immerses the readers in the streets of the city with all the denizens who lie around, creep around, dance around, or just remain living in a crazy environment.
Comment Written 23-Nov-2022
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
You always manage to bring the raw end of life on the streets to us with such rich language that a chill goes down the spine of the reader. Poverty is more prevalent today with the state of the economy and to live with vermin would be terrifying to most people, love Dolly x
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You always manage to bring the raw end of life on the streets to us with such rich language that a chill goes down the spine of the reader. Poverty is more prevalent today with the state of the economy and to live with vermin would be terrifying to most people, love Dolly x
Comment Written 22-Nov-2022
Comment from Brian Craycroft
i do like this, i like the freedom and the half-random rhymes, and the nonstandard punctuation.
its a little wordy in my opinion. i would cut the words down by 30%, keep your favorites, discard the rest.
this sounds like a poem in the style of ee cummings and a bit of edgar allen poe. to improve the rhythm feel you're going for, i'd check out the EE cummings poem "anyone lived in a pretty how town", it should give you some ideas.
nice work! very nice actually
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reply by the author on 23-Nov-2022
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i do like this, i like the freedom and the half-random rhymes, and the nonstandard punctuation.
its a little wordy in my opinion. i would cut the words down by 30%, keep your favorites, discard the rest.
this sounds like a poem in the style of ee cummings and a bit of edgar allen poe. to improve the rhythm feel you're going for, i'd check out the EE cummings poem "anyone lived in a pretty how town", it should give you some ideas.
nice work! very nice actually
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 22-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2022
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Yes, a bit like cummings and a bit more like the random rhythms of the 'beat' poets in the fifties and sixties. It really needs to be read aloud to capture intended flow depending on the readers personal take on each fragmented line. It was written in 1971 after my first evening walk in NYC. Thanks, and welcome to the site. easy
Comment from Kaiku
I am wondering if you're a crack-head. Just kidding. I would say a lot has been seen by your eyes and heard with ears as well. I actually was a bit hesitant to read this particular work as I couldn't tell if a C note would be playing or some D minor off key. I, however, enjoyed the tale.
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I am wondering if you're a crack-head. Just kidding. I would say a lot has been seen by your eyes and heard with ears as well. I actually was a bit hesitant to read this particular work as I couldn't tell if a C note would be playing or some D minor off key. I, however, enjoyed the tale.
Comment Written 22-Nov-2022
Comment from Frances Jean
Well Tom, it's been a while since we chatted! A well written and thought provoking poem with great end and internal rhyming as well as lots of alliteration too. Yes there are so many people living on the streets, phantoms in the night doing it tough. Thanks for sharing Cheers Franky
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Well Tom, it's been a while since we chatted! A well written and thought provoking poem with great end and internal rhyming as well as lots of alliteration too. Yes there are so many people living on the streets, phantoms in the night doing it tough. Thanks for sharing Cheers Franky
Comment Written 22-Nov-2022
Comment from Mario PIERRE
This is a very interesting and elaborate poem on the human condition. Written beautifully as a story which slowly unfolds onto the deprivation of our world. I enjoyed reading it.
Great job!
Mario
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This is a very interesting and elaborate poem on the human condition. Written beautifully as a story which slowly unfolds onto the deprivation of our world. I enjoyed reading it.
Great job!
Mario
Comment Written 22-Nov-2022
Comment from Douglas Goff
This is very interesting indeed. It had a haunting surreal feel to it.
Your grasp of the English language is magnificent. I really enjoyed this piece of work
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This is very interesting indeed. It had a haunting surreal feel to it.
Your grasp of the English language is magnificent. I really enjoyed this piece of work
Comment Written 22-Nov-2022
Comment from Zue65
The poem explored the life of homeless crackheads and the gutter people dependent on the dumpster for food, home and a sense of belongingness that they don't feel nor have. Keep writing and thanks for sharing.
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The poem explored the life of homeless crackheads and the gutter people dependent on the dumpster for food, home and a sense of belongingness that they don't feel nor have. Keep writing and thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 22-Nov-2022
