A Better Fit
Suggestions for getting along in our society.47 total reviews
Comment from Frank Malley
"A Better Fit" is a poem that starts with a statement in a couplet, then makes an example, and then asks two couplets worth of questions. The last three couplets are an exhortation and a warning that there will be some price to pay for wrongdoing. Then the poem announces that we will not let our wrongs "cause our swan song."
This is a poem that urges benevolence. Its message is important, but its tone is that of an kind but angry teacher. Pedagogical poetry like this that uses abstract conclusions about humans and history rarely fan the fire within the reader's mind.
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2022
"A Better Fit" is a poem that starts with a statement in a couplet, then makes an example, and then asks two couplets worth of questions. The last three couplets are an exhortation and a warning that there will be some price to pay for wrongdoing. Then the poem announces that we will not let our wrongs "cause our swan song."
This is a poem that urges benevolence. Its message is important, but its tone is that of an kind but angry teacher. Pedagogical poetry like this that uses abstract conclusions about humans and history rarely fan the fire within the reader's mind.
Comment Written 25-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2022
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Thank you for your review thoughts.
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Be well, nomi338. Frank
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Thank you I will certainly try.
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Thank you. Frank
Comment from amahra
This poem may touch home more than most readers know. I have been feeling the essence of this poem for quite a while now, but haven't said anything. But I feel the Revolutionary War more than the Civil War. I fear the patriots may be the only solution. And shame on our elected officials, the Courts and the Military--who swore to protect us from foreign and domestic terrism for forcing the patiots to save our Republic.
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2022
This poem may touch home more than most readers know. I have been feeling the essence of this poem for quite a while now, but haven't said anything. But I feel the Revolutionary War more than the Civil War. I fear the patriots may be the only solution. And shame on our elected officials, the Courts and the Military--who swore to protect us from foreign and domestic terrism for forcing the patiots to save our Republic.
Comment Written 25-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2022
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Desperate measures and time, sometime force desperate actions. My suggestions are to either try and find a safe place to hide or a secure place from which to fight.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Politics and violence seems to be the way the world is, these days, even in our, so called, civilized worlds. I can't begin to see a way to stop it. You're poem is spot on, my friend, and it's a big shame. Well done, nicely written. Warm hugs, Sandra xx
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2022
Politics and violence seems to be the way the world is, these days, even in our, so called, civilized worlds. I can't begin to see a way to stop it. You're poem is spot on, my friend, and it's a big shame. Well done, nicely written. Warm hugs, Sandra xx
Comment Written 25-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2022
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Thank you Sandra, it is always a pleasure to communicate with you.
Comment from John Ciarmello
This is so true, nomi! No one man in this world can unite us from within. That can only be achieved through the masses, and the people that don't understand the ridicule and prejudice should start the peaceful march against servitude, and the ones that do understand be their teachers. Best, JohnC
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2022
This is so true, nomi! No one man in this world can unite us from within. That can only be achieved through the masses, and the people that don't understand the ridicule and prejudice should start the peaceful march against servitude, and the ones that do understand be their teachers. Best, JohnC
Comment Written 25-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2022
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Thank you John. It is heart warming to know that there are those among us who do understand.
Comment from Ric Myworld
Yes, sir, we all seem to go through live brooding and arguing about the few differences we have, when we should spend every day celebrating our multitudes of similarities. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2022
Yes, sir, we all seem to go through live brooding and arguing about the few differences we have, when we should spend every day celebrating our multitudes of similarities. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 24-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2022
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Thank you for your generous and supportive comments.
Comment from Rachelle Allen
I think it's been the case since politics began, it's just becoming more vituperative now because of the doubling-down that encouraged everywhere these days. This reminds me of a lyric from a Jim Croce song: "let him live in freedom
if he lives like me.
You walk the streets of righteousness
But you refuse to understand.
You say you love the baby,
But then you crucify the man."
There's a lot in-between, then the last words are: "One hand on the Bible and one hand on the gun."
Listening has become a lost art form. Now people only listen for the point when the other person stops talking so they can interject THEIR beliefs and feelings.
It's so hostile everywhere, isn't it, Nomi? Oy.
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2022
I think it's been the case since politics began, it's just becoming more vituperative now because of the doubling-down that encouraged everywhere these days. This reminds me of a lyric from a Jim Croce song: "let him live in freedom
if he lives like me.
You walk the streets of righteousness
But you refuse to understand.
You say you love the baby,
But then you crucify the man."
There's a lot in-between, then the last words are: "One hand on the Bible and one hand on the gun."
Listening has become a lost art form. Now people only listen for the point when the other person stops talking so they can interject THEIR beliefs and feelings.
It's so hostile everywhere, isn't it, Nomi? Oy.
Comment Written 24-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2022
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You are absolutely correct. I think the worst part is when people who claim to be peaceful, promote and call for war.
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It also reminds me of the verse from "One Tin Soldier": Do it in the name of Heaven; you can justify it in the end.
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
Argument in the sense of debate is good. Differences in opinion are healthy. Our problem is that no-one actually listens to the other side, so there is no longer any debate, just squabbling, that will of course escalate (this is true in all walks of life, not just politics). We have reverted to infants, but most ignore the 'parents' that could guide them. I am despairing. Kate xx
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2022
Argument in the sense of debate is good. Differences in opinion are healthy. Our problem is that no-one actually listens to the other side, so there is no longer any debate, just squabbling, that will of course escalate (this is true in all walks of life, not just politics). We have reverted to infants, but most ignore the 'parents' that could guide them. I am despairing. Kate xx
Comment Written 24-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2022
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Fear not. I am convinced that in the end, God will sort it all out. Sheep like ones who obey his command on the right, who will inherit everlasting life. Hard headed, hard hearted disobedient, goat like ones on the left, who will go off into everlasting destruction. Mt. 25:46
Comment from Aussie
Your politicians act like a bunch of school boys. Never together, ripping each other apart. We watch the antics on our TV and wish they would grow up and set love free. The Romans had a forum, not a bun fight! Loved your quips and the poem was spot on! K xx
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2022
Your politicians act like a bunch of school boys. Never together, ripping each other apart. We watch the antics on our TV and wish they would grow up and set love free. The Romans had a forum, not a bun fight! Loved your quips and the poem was spot on! K xx
Comment Written 24-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2022
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Thank you so much for your inspiring analysis and support of my poem.
Comment from Paul McFarland
You have some great advice here, Nolan. The difference between the Republicans and the Democrats is so different now, I believe that a team effort is impossible at this time, but we can only hope.
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2022
You have some great advice here, Nolan. The difference between the Republicans and the Democrats is so different now, I believe that a team effort is impossible at this time, but we can only hope.
Comment Written 23-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2022
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I will personally hope and pray. Thank you for your review comments.
Comment from Ricky1024
"A Better Fit"
Was well written rich in theme and Imagery.
It also, read well and flowed well with no Grammar Issues.
...
The Adjective and Objective Contents were both Excellent and Exceptional while Descriptive Measures Aligned Perfectly.
Thanks for sharing and have a Blessed Thanksgiving.
Doctor Ricky1024
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2022
"A Better Fit"
Was well written rich in theme and Imagery.
It also, read well and flowed well with no Grammar Issues.
...
The Adjective and Objective Contents were both Excellent and Exceptional while Descriptive Measures Aligned Perfectly.
Thanks for sharing and have a Blessed Thanksgiving.
Doctor Ricky1024
Comment Written 23-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2022
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Thank you for a wonderful affirming, uplifting and supportive review.